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Thread: NJs and Ps

  1. #31
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    As honestly as I asked the question, Night. I can say this thread has turned into a wealth of useful information.

  2. #32
    Boring old fossil Night's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sakuraba View Post
    I am calling BS on this.

    SJ's are the ones who do the whole "smile in your face, talk about you behind you back" ordeal.

    I am P. I am very direct, never passive aggressive.
    Although the irony of using a stereotype to combat a stereotype is certainly not lost on me, I again restate my point that no one type holds lease on universal behavioral traits -- positive or negative.

    The system offers a sampled template. The individual is far more diverse than a metric like Typology can encapsulate.

    Quote Originally Posted by felt up View Post
    As honestly as I asked the question, Night. I can say this thread has turned into a wealth of useful information.
    Then it seems like the exercise was a useful probe into the human social response mechanism to hostile perspective.

    I hope everyone gained something.

  3. #33
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by felt up View Post
    thread derailment = P for passive-aggressive, no?
    So you're really believing that?

    I actually thought you were joking at first, because it was so NOT what I was doing. (Hmm, where's that "EPIC FAIL" graphic when I need it?)

    Or maybe your sense of humor actually IS far more dry than mine?

    Quote Originally Posted by felt up View Post
    Thanks for a direct answer mittrell. I can tell you I can be the queen of passive-aggression with ENFPs when they've ALREADY demonstrated a heaping pile of passive-aggression and it's not getting through to them that I despise it as a form of communication. What this covert behavior says to me as an INFJ, is that 'I'm smarter than you, I'm so clever that I'm going to somehow obtain information from you and you won't even know it.' While I think this strategy may work with other types, it's INSULTING to me.
    Okay, I think I'm done here.
    Enjoy your thread.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  4. #34
    Senior Member Kestrel's Avatar
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    Hum, I think alot of the qualities here being discussed here don't even apply to the P vs J conflict.

    Passive aggression is not exactly a P exclusive trait.

    Jumping to conclusions is not exactly a J exclusive trait.

    I don't think that I've taken anything of value from this thread.
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    A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. -Winston Churchill

  5. #35
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
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    All I can see is that you are exceptionally disturbed by other people's behavior, Felt Up. Not a very good place to be if you would like some peace of mind. Nobody is going to alter an unhealthy communication style to ease your discomfort.

    Sounds like you'd like to spread your discontent far and wide. . .

    I'll pass on sampling the anger and suggest you learn how to deal with it.
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  6. #36
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
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    I'll go one better than that and make an assumption that you are not practicing indirect communication by not responding.

    I'd encourage you to return when you have time and give an effort to the understanding of the roots of your discomfort.

    I know that there are plenty of folks around here quick to jump in and be helpful. Perhaps you don't realize how hostile you sound to others?

    Edit: Often what bothers us most in others is something which needs more work on our own end. I notice this in myself sometimes. Sometimes it's a mannerism of the family I've come from.
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  7. #37
    Don't Judge Me! Haphazard's Avatar
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    From what I've noticed the most passive-aggressive types tend to be the 'behind the scenes' types -- INFP, INTP, ISFP, ISFJ. Not that all of them are always passive-aggressive all the time, or that they're the only ones, but there's definitely a trend.

    The reason it happens is usually because of a 'I have a problem with X but I can't say anything about it' environment. So, you know, places like work, school, and anyplace heirarchial, are the most likely places for anybody to come off as passive-aggressive. But, if you're getting a lot of this in a personal environment, there might be the factor that you're putting too much pressure on them, causing them to be too intimidated to say anything.
    -Carefully taking sips from the Fire Hose of Knowledge

  8. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by felt up View Post
    Actually Jennifer...your response was exactly the kind of rationalizing avoidance I expected. Thanks!
    Rationalizing avoidance? Interesting, I'm an NJ and what I got from Jennifer's post was that P's like to explore options and that may appear passive aggressive from the standpoint of a J type who wants things decided right now. But that's just me stating the obvious (something NJs do that is probably annoying to P's actually ).

  9. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haphazard View Post
    From what I've noticed the most passive-aggressive types tend to be the 'behind the scenes' types -- INFP, INTP, ISFP, ISFJ. Not that all of them are always passive-aggressive all the time, or that they're the only ones, but there's definitely a trend.

    The reason it happens is usually because of a 'I have a problem with X but I can't say anything about it' environment. So, you know, places like work, school, and anyplace heirarchial, are the most likely places for anybody to come off as passive-aggressive. But, if you're getting a lot of this in a personal environment, there might be the factor that you're putting too much pressure on them, causing them to be too intimidated to say anything.
    Seems correct in my experiences. I almost always had a problem to get straight answers from IxxP's, except from ISTP's. The thing is, and my ISTP-friend understands this, that he can give me a answer to keep me sane and I am very open to recieving a change or a new answer if a better comes up. It's totally ok to not have figure everything out. But for god sake, JUST GIVE ME ANSWERS!

    EDIT: Yes I was thinking about people in my personal life when I wrote this.

  10. #40
    Senior Member mlittrell's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by felt up View Post
    Thanks for a direct answer mittrell. I can tell you I can be the queen of passive-aggression with ENFPs when they've ALREADY demonstrated a heaping pile of passive-aggression and it's not getting through to them that I despise it as a form of communication. What this covert behavior says to me as an INFJ, is that 'I'm smarter than you, I'm so clever that I'm going to somehow obtain information from you and you won't even know it.' While I think this strategy may work with other types, it's INSULTING to me.
    that is completely understandable. if i really need info fast i act directly as anyone should. if i dont need it ill generally get there, but not in a passive aggressive way. ill just kinda flesh everything out so i can get the big picture.
    "Honest differences are often a healthy sign of progress. "

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