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  1. #11
    Senior Member vince's Avatar
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    jeeze, I relate to whatever it is you described 110%. I don't know how old you are, but I'm 29 and kind of used to all you mentioned. I became aware of it around my twenties or even earlier. I believe certain people -and even certain (herd) animals- have a heightened awareness, that serves a purpose (imho). It's a bit confusing cause it resembles social anxiety and it deviates from the social norm.

    On life being pointless : i'm in it for the occasional extasy, and only then and there, I know it's all worth it.

  2. #12
    Junior Member Brutus01's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jeeze View Post
    This is a feeling that has plagued my soul since I was a child. I have this incredibly heavy sense of self-awareness, maybe it feels like worry, which tends to sit above my stomach. I mean I can actually feel it. It's not often debilitating, nor is the feeling always around, but it does linger too often. I will tend to feel out of place even around people I've know my whole life, and will tend to avoid people because the amount of energy I use to try to feel that I am appearing normal just sucks. It's like I need to ask people if I'm okay.

    Also I tend to feel too much about the other. It's like I can't help but read too deep into a persons "real" feelings, whatever that is. I can't help but feel there is a deeper meaning to peoples expressions. Doing this also takes up a lot of energy from me. I really just want to feel light and airy when talking with people. I want the feeling of being in the now without the feeling of some deeper thing going on.

    I'm not sure if I'm explaining this well, maybe someone can help draw out what I'm getting at. Does this description sound any part INFP, or am I just depressed?
    I can completely relate to everything you said. Im in the same boat, i often feel overwhelmed. Lately ive tried just completely shutting myself off emotionally, and as bad as it sounds, its the most refreshing thing i have experienced in a really long time. Granted i can only manage to do it once in every decade so far
    "It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for something you are not." ~Andre Gide

  3. #13
    Senor Membrane
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brutus01 View Post
    Lately ive tried just completely shutting myself off emotionally
    You can do that?! How was it? I have maybe come close to that when I was depressed, and maybe couple of times in a crisis situation that needed someone doing stuff and not freaking out, but I've never thought I could (or would) do it consciously...

  4. #14
    Senior Member quietmusician's Avatar
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    I can shut myself off emotionally. Not all the time, but it takes something small to ruin my mood so then I get in an everything sucks mode and stay there. My self awareness doesn't go away either. Sucks, right? And I get the energy aspect of it. That alone is tiring. I don't think depression is a part of it, but then again I'm not a doctor. But my honest opinion is that if you were depressed, I don't think you'd have to question it.

  5. #15
    Badoom~ Skyward's Avatar
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    I'm not a really high F compared to some, but I know how that in very well. For me it was just a lost grasp of self (Strong enough Te to wanna KNOW what's going on besides feeling what's going on, grrr I need a leash for that brute. ) and it was a yoyo of high energy vs low energy.

    Its still self exploration and self-consciousness (Still a battle... stupid contingency planning Ne/Si/Te combo :steam
    'Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and its better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.' - Marilyn Monroe

    This is who I am, escapist, paradise-seeker.
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    Anthropology Major out of Hamline University. St. Paul, Minnesota.

  6. #16
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jeeze View Post
    Also I tend to feel too much about the other. It's like I can't help but read too deep into a persons "real" feelings, whatever that is. I can't help but feel there is a deeper meaning to peoples expressions. Doing this also takes up a lot of energy from me. I really just want to feel light and airy when talking with people. I want the feeling of being in the now without the feeling of some deeper thing going on.
    Do you mean that you get sucked into feeling other people's feelings? Because I do and it's very difficult for me to get rid of it unless I first get away from those people. Very negative people are the worst. They are totally pulling me down.

    I've learned to shut my sensing off beforehand or put things away (mentally) when something is taking a too big toll on me. But in intense people situation or intense group situation - it is nearly impossible for me to feel my own emotions. I'm a chameleon in that way even if I absolutely hate it. Myabe I'll learn to deal with it someday...

  7. #17
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    you should read up on the 7 chakras and you would find that your soul is at the 4th or higher stage where you become overly compassionate, but also start to realize that your separating from most of the populous since most are now below you in spiritual maturity. Just a guess, can't be sure with these things.

  8. #18
    Senior Member MissMurder's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jeeze View Post
    This is a feeling that has plagued my soul since I was a child. I have this incredibly heavy sense of self-awareness, maybe it feels like worry, which tends to sit above my stomach. I mean I can actually feel it. It's not often debilitating, nor is the feeling always around, but it does linger too often. I will tend to feel out of place even around people I've know my whole life, and will tend to avoid people because the amount of energy I use to try to feel that I am appearing normal just sucks. It's like I need to ask people if I'm okay.

    Also I tend to feel too much about the other. It's like I can't help but read too deep into a persons "real" feelings, whatever that is. I can't help but feel there is a deeper meaning to peoples expressions. Doing this also takes up a lot of energy from me. I really just want to feel light and airy when talking with people. I want the feeling of being in the now without the feeling of some deeper thing going on.

    I'm not sure if I'm explaining this well, maybe someone can help draw out what I'm getting at. Does this description sound any part INFP, or am I just depressed?
    Most of this sounds exactly like an INFP I know. He's even described that physical sensation you were talking about since he was a child. So, either you're both really weird INFPs, you're both mistyped and are actually something else, you both have the same disorder, or... this could be true to type.
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  9. #19
    Senior Member Llewellyn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jeeze View Post
    This is a feeling that has plagued my soul since I was a child. I have this incredibly heavy sense of self-awareness, maybe it feels like worry, which tends to sit above my stomach. I mean I can actually feel it. It's not often debilitating, nor is the feeling always around, but it does linger too often. I will tend to feel out of place even around people I've know my whole life, and will tend to avoid people because the amount of energy I use to try to feel that I am appearing normal just sucks. It's like I need to ask people if I'm okay.

    Also I tend to feel too much about the other. It's like I can't help but read too deep into a persons "real" feelings, whatever that is. I can't help but feel there is a deeper meaning to peoples expressions. Doing this also takes up a lot of energy from me. I really just want to feel light and airy when talking with people. I want the feeling of being in the now without the feeling of some deeper thing going on.

    I'm not sure if I'm explaining this well, maybe someone can help draw out what I'm getting at. Does this description sound any part INFP, or am I just depressed?
    Yesterday an INFP friend of me explained something like this in exactly the same terms (the need to know or fear of there being something underneath people's expressions). She didn't feel too good, by the way. She said she might come to this forum if she'd think of it.

    I went to look up something about Fi for her (on this forum) because somewhere I heard it was a function relatively higher in consciousness, so in a way less attached to deeper consciousness or the subconscious (if i'm right).

    Seen from other answers in this thread it's not just INFP. I can also relate to this in the sense that all the time I'm determining my attitude even to people I'm close to. With all the good of the world I can't get that right feeling. I attribute this to Ti, on my type's occasion. It's then that I think intensely much into things, not only people but music for example. I'm completely following the score, even the composition of the piece (if I don't put an effort preventing that). I'm trying to fight this out now. And yeah, I'm also very aware of myself and of the other, but not so much of the connection (or maybe actually I do and therefore tend to avoid it, and it's not too good). In stead of sensing this contact I try to think it.

    Quote Originally Posted by MissMurder View Post
    Most of this sounds exactly like an INFP I know. He's even described that physical sensation you were talking about since he was a child. So, either you're both really weird INFPs, you're both mistyped and are actually something else, you both have the same disorder, or... this could be true to type.
    Exactly the same, that physical sensation, with my INFP.
    INtj | 9w1

  10. #20
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    I've just come back from Bahia Conception, Mx. I spent more than a week alone sleeping on white sandy, sea shell beaches, playing with random hobo dogs and fishing to eat. What a relief. At the same time, however, I did get lonely. I yearn to be a part of a social environment and interact with people. My Spanish is fair, so some of my ability to feel other gets lost in translation, which upon holiday really works out to my benefit. Anyway, this is so great to back come back to your responses.

    I would like to respond to these responses. I feel deeply appreciative that you've taken time to respond to my original post. On side note, upon return to California and within hours of my return, I am already feeling out of place. It's not traumatic, but it is so difficult to feel people's uneasiness with respect to their position in this world.
    Individuals rock, people suck.

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