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  1. #11
    Minister of Propagandhi ajblaise's Avatar
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    Give up on trying to control other's behavior and their perceptions of you, and to accomplish that, practice detachment.

  2. #12
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ajblaise View Post
    Give up on trying to control other's behavior and their perceptions of you, and to accomplish that, practice detachment.
    I've fought very hard not to do that as it is my family and I want a great emotional connection with them. But it seems to be the only way to protect each side. Just frigging bothers me to have such a gigantic wall between us all the time. It's exhausting to keep up and makes you wonder why you bother visiting them.
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    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  3. #13
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    Works in most cases. Not in my family however. I just put up walls when I go there. It's the only time I do that. And as much as I love them, I try to see them only when necessary.
    The people closest to us are the most careless.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  4. #14
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    The people closest to us are the most careless.

    Never understood why that is, but it would appear so.
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  5. #15
    Senor Membrane
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    Never understood why that is, but it would appear so.
    Family members assume that because they share the same genes they can never ruin their relationship completely. Family also shares long history, so it would seem like it connects them, but there are also things that separate. If each member could just step back and forget about the painful memories and start relating to the others as they are now, things would be better.

  6. #16
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nolla View Post
    Family members assume that because they share the same genes they can never ruin their relationship completely. Family also shares long history, so it would seem like it connects them, but there are also things that separate. If each member could just step back and forget about the painful memories and start relating to the others as they are now, things would be better.
    Easier said then done. Families tend to be stuck in a pattern and getting all of the members to cooperate is..challenging
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  7. #17
    Minister of Propagandhi ajblaise's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    I've fought very hard not to do that as it is my family and I want a great emotional connection with them. But it seems to be the only way to protect each side. Just frigging bothers me to have such a gigantic wall between us all the time. It's exhausting to keep up and makes you wonder why you bother visiting them.
    Yeah family structure has a lot of positives, but I don't see the purpose of trying to force a connection that's just not there.

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