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  1. #41
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    The mind cannot think of two things at once, just like you cannot have two conversations at once (I talked about this last night, as a matter of fact). So, in focusing on others we do something that we can feel good about and we are around people who can teach us and share with us good examples for living.
    This is good advice.

    My situation is... complicated.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
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    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  2. #42
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wild horses View Post
    I am similar to you Pink... I emphathise and so feel the pain of others as if it were my own... Its not something I consciously do it's just what happens when i am around the energy of others or think about them...
    Well, this is partly why I suggested the old folks home. They are often so glad to see young people (everyone is young to them) that they are amazingly happy and this happiness is contagious. I have the opportunity to go to an assisted living place to visit a friend who works there and I feel so amazed at how happy the people are there (who are on the downslope of life) that I feel foolish for ever dwelling on my own minor miseries.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  3. #43
    Senior Member Wild horses's Avatar
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    Why do people see the approach of death as the 'downside' of life.. Not directed at you Syn just a wondering of mine.. Anyway, that's good advice Thanks
    ... couldn't drag me away

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  4. #44
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wild horses View Post
    Why do people see the approach of death as the 'downside' of life.. Not directed at you Syn just a wondering of mine.. Anyway, that's good advice Thanks
    1. Your strength is waning.
    2. Your health is waning.
    3. You time is waning.
    4. Your usefulness is waning.
    5. Your circle of friends is shrinking.

    Life is easing you out. When I see someone happy at an advanced age, I think this is someone I want to learn something from as I will be here myself someday.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  5. #45
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AwesomeCakes View Post
    If there are people around me that are in a pissy mood, it's likely to affect me in a negative way. I'm also very weather sensitive...stress due to procrastinating and the list goes on D:
    I think this is key. ENFPs absorb other people's moods, it's like they have permeable emotional boundaries. The downside of being highly empathic. I was talking about this in Edahn's blog recently.

    You have to recognise who/what is affecting you and cultivate strategies to shield yourself from it.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  6. #46
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    1. Your strength is waning.
    2. Your health is waning.
    3. You time is waning.
    4. Your usefulness is waning.
    5. Your circle of friends is shrinking.

    Life is easing you out. When I see someone happy at an advanced age, I think this is someone I want to learn something from as I will be here myself someday.
    This is precisely why we call our Grandmother frequently. Jaye and I are writing her life story for her, and we send her lists of questions about herself that she's filling out and engaging. I think it's a very exciting proposition for all of us, really. I know how I'd feel if I was alone like she is. Not to put too fine a point, but it's very uncool.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  7. #47
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    That's a great idea. I wish I had done that with my grandmother. She had a lot of recipes and stories I wish we had preserved.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  8. #48
    Senior Member LostInNerSpace's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    No, I understand. The trick may be helping people in order to make me feel like I'm changing something bad or righting a wrong which in turn would lighten my mood?
    You post a lot. You undoubtedly have some affect on the lives of regular posters, however big or small. How do you know you are not influencing people with your posts in ways that directly or indirectly positively effect the lives of many others?

  9. #49
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Shakespeare, Hamlet - "There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so".
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  10. #50
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    That's a great idea. I wish I had done that with my grandmother. She had a lot of recipes and stories I wish we had preserved.
    That's sad! Are there any other older relatives who might help you?

    My gma was an adopted child, so we still have trouble finding out where she came from (though we've tried repeatedly). I think this makes her feel disconnected. We know she was born on a train headed for a town in our state where her adoptive parents were waiting. They had to stop the train at a closer depot to get my grandmother delivered.

    She holds all the information, pictures, lore, etc of my grandfather's family too. Without her, we'd have big stacks of 100 + year old pictures of people I only remotely recognize. For instance, I have a pile of extremely old postcards on my computer monitor. I was in the process of scanning them (my scanner is acting up presently) and loading them at Flickr because not only are they scenes from NC and SC that have changed dramatically from 100 years ago, but the correspondence on back has been very intriguing. I recognize all the names, and seeing them speak to each other over the years in a very casual manner has been thrilling for me.

    There was a great great uncle of mine who lived with his two spinster sisters (the others married, though only one child was ever born to the bunch, which would be my great grandfather who was a hellraiser...). He died of consumption (TB) at an early age, and his sisters turned his room into a shrine really. Wouldn't let anyone in there, didn't move his things as he'd left them. My father remembers being in that house and being shoo-ed away from that closed room.

    How Southern Gothic and Victorian of us. haha!

    I wouldn't know half the stuff I do without my grandmother, and she likes to feel useful and share information. It's mutually very agreeable.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

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