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[ENFP] ENFP body language

Amargith

Hotel California
Joined
Nov 5, 2008
Messages
14,717
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4dw
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I will only miss that kinda bodylanguage of someone I'm not in tune with. That means, if I'm focussed on a person, I can usually tell that they are flirting back at me. People I haven't made an effort to get to know yet (but know in group for instance), I can get blindsighted by.

However, even if I pick up on it, I can sometimes underestimate the intensity of their emotions, as I use flirting to be friendly. Not everybody does. Some only flirt when they mean it, and then I can sometimes be surprised when they drop all subtleties *grin*

Or people who at first keep you at arms length for a long time and suddenly that wall collapses and the trust you suddenly get opens a secret doorway to their heart. It is incredible when that happens but it's always a bit of a shock to see their bodylanguage and attitude change so suddenly :)
 

Izzybeef

New member
Joined
Dec 3, 2008
Messages
4
MBTI Type
ENfP
Enneagram
72w3
since enfps have a tendancy more than most other types to take their personal relationships almost more seriously than anything else i can definitely see why this potential "problem" has arised. I'd trust his word first off. An enfp generally won't get involved with someone that they truley care for if they don't feel that they could provide them with sufficient attention and appreciation. As wierd as it sounds he probably does like you a lot and is being completely truthful in the sense that he'd rather get his head on straight more than rush into something he can't put the better part of his time into. Maybe you weren't asking for this next piece of advise but i'f say if you were looking for more than just a platonic/friend type deal go for a best friends with benefits thing. Enfps are very loyal and understanding and will accomidate to your needs whether you realize it or not.
 

dearie.b

New member
Joined
Apr 28, 2008
Messages
14
MBTI Type
INFJ
Oh dear!
My ENFP is back and says he's thinking about moving to my country
to study if he lose his job. I think it's only one the a million ideas that he has in
mind, which is always changing.
He said he had feelings for me but it's a big commitment,it's tough time (at
work), there's cultural difference. And suggest that we be friends.
My guess is that he still hasn't made up his mind. Should I tell him I'll be waiting
or just wait in silence? I know he came back for a reason.

I don't want to push him and I'm prepared to let him go as there is no point forcing
people to be with me if they don't want to.

And thanks Izzybeef for the advise, do you mean loyal as " I only sleep with you"?
 

CzeCze

RETIRED
Joined
Sep 11, 2007
Messages
8,975
MBTI Type
GONE
Wowowow.

Take things slow.

I'm thinking as an INFJ you probably will get more hurt than the ENFP.

ENFPs can get really into people on a semi-regularl basis and truly emotionally invest and attach but also healthy mature ENFPs bounce back really quickly and/or wholly from heartbreak.

Regardless of his type, do not EVER put all your eggs in one basket.

The question is, what do YOU want?

Figure that out, tell him, and then move on while he figures out his answer. Be prepared for both the 'yes' and the 'no' so you'll be ready when he has his answer.

And then proceed accordingly.

Don't wait on someone who is very clearly and openly noncommital and vacillating. While you are focusing on this very maybe situation, there are other opportunities around you that you're missing.
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
784
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
great advice cze cze
 

dearie.b

New member
Joined
Apr 28, 2008
Messages
14
MBTI Type
INFJ
Thank you for the advice Cze Cze.

I thought ENFPs would tell me be patient. :)

I have known him for years and believe that he would never
do anything to hurt me. And as an INFJ, I can't do two things
and go both ways at once (I really wish I could).

It sounds to me like the current situation with his job makes him
feel he can not give me what I want.

I'm just afraid once I make a decision there will be no way back.
It's nearly impossible to change my mind.:17425:
 

dearie.b

New member
Joined
Apr 28, 2008
Messages
14
MBTI Type
INFJ
do not EVER put all your eggs in one basket.

Reminds me of Ingrid Bergman in Casablanca.;)
Somehow I can never understand that character.:blush:
 

BlueScreen

Fail 2.0
Joined
Nov 8, 2008
Messages
2,668
MBTI Type
YMCA
And thanks Izzybeef for the advise, do you mean loyal as " I only sleep with you"?

I know we are a decent way into the thread, but are you sure he is an ENFP? A few things have seemed out of place.

ENFP Relationships

I more often seem to be in the position that you are in. I've never put work before people in my life. People, if anything, would be used as an excuse not to work :). Is his job ideal, or is he struggling for money, or is there some huge reason why work is so important and vital? Work is classically pretty low on the list for ENFPs in terms of values. And I also normally work on the basis that I can adapt, and there are always more hours in the day. If anything his approach is unnecessarily rigid, especially if he likes you.
 

gonzo

New member
Joined
Jan 23, 2009
Messages
9
MBTI Type
ENFP
Hey,

If i try to put myself in the situation you are refering to, in the limits of my understanding, i tend to think...

You seem to expect a "decision" from him (be with you or not like a commitment) but is this his way of proceeding? It's not mine. I don't "decide" to be someone.

It happens that i feel good (or not) when i see that person. I feel stuff i wouldn't feel otherwise. And it may be quite basic, but finally of absolute importance for me to build a relationship: how we cook and eat together, how we sleep. Does it happen that we decide for a movie or a trip or a restaurant at the last minute?

For me, a real relationship fulfills various needs, including very basic ones i tend to forget if not in a relationship. What stays at the end is not the 'discussions' but those basic stuff + that silent look at the landscape we shared from the window of a train, our ability to dream about that travel that never occured...

Euh... so if you are expecting any advise, and if the guy was me, i would suggest not to wait for a "decision" but try instead to share with him really basic needs on a regular basis. Make him feel he's alive with you, can rest, share food, bed, jokes. He will finally come back everyday.

It's just what i think.

Great news he came back!
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
784
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
good advice too gonzo...but only if that's something you CAN do...you may need something more concrete than that but he may not be in the position to give that to you.
 

dearie.b

New member
Joined
Apr 28, 2008
Messages
14
MBTI Type
INFJ
Hey,

If i try to put myself in the situation you are refering to, in the limits of my understanding, i tend to think...

You seem to expect a "decision" from him (be with you or not like a commitment) but is this his way of proceeding? It's not mine. I don't "decide" to be someone.

It happens that i feel good (or not) when i see that person. I feel stuff i wouldn't feel otherwise. And it may be quite basic, but finally of absolute importance for me to build a relationship: how we cook and eat together, how we sleep. Does it happen that we decide for a movie or a trip or a restaurant at the last minute?

For me, a real relationship fulfills various needs, including very basic ones i tend to forget if not in a relationship. What stays at the end is not the 'discussions' but those basic stuff + that silent look at the landscape we shared from the window of a train, our ability to dream about that travel that never occured...

Euh... so if you are expecting any advise, and if the guy was me, i would suggest not to wait for a "decision" but try instead to share with him really basic needs on a regular basis. Make him feel he's alive with you, can rest, share food, bed, jokes. He will finally come back everyday.

It's just what i think.

Great news he came back!

Thanks for the advise, that's what my bestfriend (also an ENFP) told me to do.

So I've been sending him emails every now and then since he's been gone but
he's only replied once. I'm not sure if he's busy or doesn't feel like replying.

Don't know if I should continue tho sometimes I really like to share with him
what I think and how I feel. :confused:
 

MattC333

New member
Joined
Jun 11, 2009
Messages
62
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
2
Argh, I do this all the time!
I meet a girl I really like but if I can't give her 100% I start to feel guilty if she likes me!
I can't control the fact that I like her but I feel bad that I keep giving her the signal that I do genuinely like her.

I dated someone earlier this year a few months after I broke up with my fiancee. I did like her but as things progressed I realised my head and heart were still dealing with things. I liked this girl, but the guilt was mortifying.

My advice is give him time. You don't want pieces of him. If he can't give you 100% he's going to get so confused about it and feel he's not giving you his best.

If he never comes around, then I'm really sorry, but you honestly don't want an emotionally conflicted ENFP, you want an ENFP that's giving you all that he's got.

Well that's how I felt with this girl. We weren't totally matched but I'm sure it'd have been more intense and fun, if I'd had my head in there the whole way. Instead I broke it off and felt terrible because I'd brought her into something that I wasn't prepared see through.
 
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