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  1. #21
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    I keep seeing the statement that NF live to accommodate others, while NT live to seek truth. Questions like this make me re-think the whole business of type all over again.

    I do not accommodate others very much in my life. I don't particularly like to compromise or conform to what others want me to do and I certainly don't live to compromise or conform. I'll do it to get along at work or to please someone very close to me but I don't live for it and I find it extremely unpleasant when I have to.

    I have my own idea of truth based on this and I would not compromise this to please someone else or to accommodate for them...at least not without feeling great pain that I had betrayed my own beliefs. I would see that as a denial of my own personal truth and one of the most self-damaging things I could do.

    What do other NF think about this? Do you really live to compromise and conform to what others want you to be or do for them?
    This was a big roadblock in accepting my type, but now that you express experiencing the same issue, I feel better.

    Much to the disappointment of my ESFJ mother, I am not accommodating unless I'm so inclined. If only! I have to force myself to accommodate people (and I usually fail to carry out the act). Maybe because I'm introverted. Maybe because my Fi says "A, B, and C are not consistent with that in which you place great importance".

  2. #22
    Don't Judge Me! Haphazard's Avatar
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    I kind of see a misunderstanding of terms...

    'Acommodating' is not compromising yourself and your values to conform to that around you. It's about accepting people, even if it's in the manner of 'hate the sin, love the sinner.'

    NTs aren't looking for truth as in personal truth, but something shallower, as in an understanding of the world around them in a physical, real, theoretical sense. Personal truths would only be integrated into this 'world truth' framework without a second thought.
    -Carefully taking sips from the Fire Hose of Knowledge

  3. #23
    heart on fire
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    I understand the differences between Fe and Fi a lot better than I did when I made this thread. I am very certain now of being INFP.

    I would guess that the search for truth is a little different for Te and Ti as well.

    I think the temperment theory with NF all grouped together is all wrong. There's too much different between the reactions of Fe and Fi.

  4. #24
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    If there's something I don't do is accomodating others. There's this whole idea of NF as doormats going around which irritates me. But it is true that I try not to upset people, for the very egoistic reason, that if someone is upset then, no matter what, I will be upset as well either because of their reaction and/or remorse. I have to protect myself. Unless my values are questioned, then it would be more destructive for me to let go.

    It might be a matter of semantics, though, what may appear to T individuals as accomodating I simply call it self-preservation, and what strikes me as unneccesary conflict and aggression in them they simply consider it a way to reach knowledge in a quicker and more detailed way.

  5. #25
    unscannable Tigerlily's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    I keep seeing the statement that NF live to accommodate others, while NT live to seek truth. Questions like this make me re-think the whole business of type all over again.
    This is true at least with me but I only accommodate those I care about.
    I do not accommodate others very much in my life. I don't particularly like to compromise or conform to what others want me to do and I certainly don't live to compromise or conform. I'll do it to get along at work or to please someone very close to me but I don't live for it and I find it extremely unpleasant when I have to.
    I don't live to care for others but when it comes to my family I am quite accommodating. I still need time for myself but they're well looked after.
    What do other NF think about this? Do you really live to compromise and conform to what others want you to be or do for them?
    Hells no, but I'm not your typical "NF". I find it amusing that people believe that NF's are these mushy, dolphin loving, rolling around fields of daisy's freaks. Some of us actually do have balls and will tell you to go fuck yourself if you've got it coming. Maybe I'm not really an INFJ? *shrugs*
    Time is a delicate mistress.

  6. #26
    Badoom~ Skyward's Avatar
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    For me, accommodating is when I use my own energy to make someone else's situation a little easier, and I tend to accommodate when I don't have to go out of my way to do it. (I'll only go out of my way if its a person close to me)

    The frustrating situations are when people either: a) Wanna take advantage of me, seeing me as a doormat type. Or b) Refuse to accept help or don't appreciate it.

    Kind of like when I open a door for someone. I feel appreciated when they say even a simple 'thanks,' but then if they didn't I would wonder if they cared or if they were just mentally occupied at the time (Which I can understand)

    I guess its a matter of feeling appreciated for me. If they appreciate what I do I like doing it for them. If they don't, I end up wondering why I did it.

    Isn't that something of an ISFJ tendency?

  7. #27
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    Generally speaking, it cannot be strictly said that NFs are more accomodating than other types.

    However, in each temperament - EJ, EP, IJ, IP - the NF type is usually the most accomodating. Comparisons between types of different temperaments is generally impossible, given that different functional orderings are emphasized.
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

  8. #28
    movin melodies kiddykat's Avatar
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    I find myself more accommodating to older folks than to younger ones or ones my age.

    Depends on what needs to be compromised:

    If it's my values.. No.

    If it's something small like someone needing to ramble/vent their emotions, I tend to accomodate/listen. We delve into deep conversations/topics a lot. People tend to open up/tell me their problems most times. It's weird.

    If it's with friends.. I don't. If I don't feel like doing something, I won't. I let them know.

  9. #29
    Earth Exalted Thursday's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post

    The real question I am asking in this post is, do NF really live to accommodate others? I understand that NF are different than NT in their views but is the difference really accommodating to others?
    Live to accommodate......thats Fe
    Fi is more of a T function...and what you described in your first post about conforming-which is what Fe does... at least on the surface-and especially when not supplemented with the individualistic and non traditional Ni
    I N V I C T U S

  10. #30
    / booyalab's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    I keep seeing the statement that NF live to accommodate others, while NT live to seek truth.
    I don't think either of those are true. NFs aren't very accomodating when their values are being challenged and there is an uncomfortable number of NTs that would probably say that truth is relative or unknowable etc.
    I don't wanna!

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