User Tag List

First 12345 Last

Results 21 to 30 of 50

  1. #21
    Glycerine
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by phoenix13 View Post
    Saying "yes, kind of" to the MILF thing doesn't strike me as inappropriate.

    Re: "My girlfriend has to shoe horn her fat a** into her jeans."
    In high school, I would've taken that sucker out on the spot. These days, I'd probably not care (provided the 2 examples you gave were the only incidents that occured).

    It's hard to judge whether or not you're overreacting with this second incident... if it really does bother you, you'd have little to lose by taking him aside after class and presenting a respectful case as to why he sucks.
    Well he actually laughed and just said, "yes" . I said, "Oh my god" and he replied, "well, [student's name] is the one that said it, not me" in a defensive manner (referring to the MILF comment). It was kind of funny in hindsight, I guess. haha there were a lot more remarks like this! It might have been the regularity that drove me nuts.

  2. #22
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    enfp
    Enneagram
    8
    Posts
    13,881

    Default

    Oy!! .. My apologies, I always think people are in college or something, adult-to-adult conversations.

    High school teachers have a responsibility to hold back their personalities in the presense of children to set an example of proper workplace ethics. I had thought the situation to be two isolated incidents from the OP. If these are two of many, I'd say your discomfort is warranted.
    Kantgirl: Just say "I'm feminine and I'll punch anyone who says otherwise!"
    Halla74: Think your way through the world. Feel your way through life.

    Cimarron: maybe Prpl will be your girl-bud
    prplchknz: i don't like it

    In Search Of... ... Kiwi Sketch Art ... Dream Journal ... Kyuuei's Cook book ... Kyu's Tiny House Blog ... Minimalist Challenge ... Kyu's Savings Challenge

  3. #23
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    2,967

    Default

    Whew, kyuuei. I was ready to take you aside and give you some lessons in self-protection from sexual predators on this one!

    Let me say that any teacher at any level must be conscious of the power differential between a teacher and a student and work to protect that barrier. Not take advantage of it, as well.

    Those of you who know how sexual predators work will recognize this "inviting" of a victim they are grooming into their private sexual lives. They test the waters first with a few light phrases to get the others' reaction.

    Not sayin' this guy has anything more in mind. But his all too casual comments, as Jennifer acknowledges, set up a situation which could turn into something more difficult to deal with than mere squeamishness.

    I would avoid addressing him in private about this issue, myself. Actually I'd avoid being alone with him in any situation.

    Either this young man has been poorly educated in professional teaching techniques, is trolling for a young girl who would be most flattered to be teacher's pet, or he's hopelessly immature and doesn't have a clue. Any of the above are cause for concern.

    Yes, standards have changed. But the nature of human behavior has changed very little. This is unfortunate and we see an increase in sexualization of children and their accompanying results every time we pick up a newspaper.

    I'd trust my guts on this one. If in doubt, young women, get yourselves some education about this issue. It sounds as though many here are so comfortable with it that they are unaware of the potential problems. Scary.
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  4. #24
    Glycerine
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    Oy!! .. My apologies, I always think people are in college or something, adult-to-adult conversations.

    High school teachers have a responsibility to hold back their personalities in the presense of children to set an example of proper workplace ethics. I had thought the situation to be two isolated incidents from the OP. If these are two of many, I'd say your discomfort is warranted.
    haha, it's all good, I graduated from his class last year after having him for two years but I was still kind of confused why he had such an unusual effect on me compared to all my other teachers: past and present.


    Anja, I was starting to think that he might just be an immature INFP but I still wonder if there is still more to that.

    He probably was an INFP because: talked about the meaning of life, love, and suffering a lot, had a jaded sense of idealism, didn't always grade or return our assignments, very sensitive to criticism, very abstract in thought, laid back, low-energy, non-conformist, didn't really socialize much outside of the classroom (like in the halls), was apathetic to social cues (like smiling and saying "hi").

    I'm sorry if this all very negative. He cared about his students but we tended to clash a lot for some reason.

  5. #25
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    2,967

    Default

    I would think you would. He's operating at your level!

    This deal of running his GF down to you guys suggests that he may be open a substitute. Is this something you could talk to your parents about?

    I dunno. Not good.

    I used to teach and have watched this kinda thing happen with young male teachers fresh out of college. The news indicates that our young women are also getting involved in this kind of exploitation of the students who are trusting them to be good role models and teachers.

    A generation which has grown up in a sexually-saturated society sometimes doesn't see with the same eyes that come with having experienced what happens when boundaries are crossed.

    I had a terrible time with this in college - the "Be my friend and you'll get an "A" thing. It creates a real mess for the student.

    And I have a special personal interest in this as my daughter was sexually assaulted by a teacher when she was sixteen. She ended up in a neck brace when she went ballistic and fended him off. It all wound up in court, his pregnant wife divorced him, he lost his job and more than a decade later my daughter still has problems with her neck.

    Lotta people were affected for a long time.
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  6. #26
    Glycerine
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Anja View Post
    I would think you would. He's operating at your level!

    This deal of running his GF down to you guys suggests that he may be open a substitute. Is this something you could talk to your parents about?

    I dunno. Not good.

    I used to teach and have watched this kinda thing happen with young male teachers fresh out of college. The news indicates that our young women are also getting involved in this kind of exploitation of the students who are trusting them to be good role models and teachers.

    A generation which has grown up in a sexually-saturated society sometimes doesn't see with the same eyes that come with having experienced what happens when boundaries are crossed.

    I had a terrible time with this in college - the "Be my friend and you'll get an "A" thing. It creates a real mess for the student.

    And I have a special personal interest in this as my daughter was sexually assaulted by a teacher when she was sixteen. She ended up in a neck brace when she went ballistic and fended him off. It all wound up in court, his pregnant wife divorced him, he lost his job and more than a decade later my daughter still has problems with her neck.

    Lotta people were affected for a long time.
    That really stinks about your daughter! Ironically, he's probably 40 or so. Thank you for your perspective! I'll be more cautious with my teachers.

  7. #27
    almost half a doctor phoenix13's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7w8
    Posts
    1,313

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by IDK123 View Post
    Well he actually laughed and just said, "yes" . I said, "Oh my god" and he replied, "well, [student's name] is the one that said it, not me" in a defensive manner (referring to the MILF comment). It was kind of funny in hindsight, I guess. haha there were a lot more remarks like this! It might have been the regularity that drove me nuts.
    Ah, I see. I think it's time to take him out. Get an argument together complete with examples and a solid explanation of why it's inappropriate (that'll be stronger than an explanation of why it makes you uncomfortable). Be respectful, professional, blah blah. You've gotta calmly stab him with a smile on your face... that sort of thing.

  8. #28
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Posts
    8,470

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Anja View Post
    I would think you would. He's operating at your level!

    This deal of running his GF down to you guys suggests that he may be open a substitute. Is this something you could talk to your parents about?

    I dunno. Not good.

    I used to teach and have watched this kinda thing happen with young male teachers fresh out of college. The news indicates that our young women are also getting involved in this kind of exploitation of the students who are trusting them to be good role models and teachers.

    A generation which has grown up in a sexually-saturated society sometimes doesn't see with the same eyes that come with having experienced what happens when boundaries are crossed.

    I had a terrible time with this in college - the "Be my friend and you'll get an "A" thing. It creates a real mess for the student.

    And I have a special personal interest in this as my daughter was sexually assaulted by a teacher when she was sixteen. She ended up in a neck brace when she went ballistic and fended him off. It all wound up in court, his pregnant wife divorced him, he lost his job and more than a decade later my daughter still has problems with her neck.

    Lotta people were affected for a long time.
    I hope he got his legs broken.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  9. #29
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    2,967

    Default

    Actually what happened was pretty sad, Synarch, and in the end he got his just desserts but it required a lot of work on our part to bring him to justice.


    The city wanted to charge him with disorderly conduct! And I stood firm on charging him with assault. I had to call the State Attorney General and he came to town and the City attorney lost her job.

    I dont know what this guy had going for him. I checked his criminal record and he had several past drug charges. I suspect he was serving as an informant for the police department and they were trying to keep him in his job.

    He was given our address on his papers but we weren't allowed personal information bout him. I found out he lived a few blocks from our house.

    His PO stood up for him. Made the excuse that it was St. Patrick's Day and he was celebrating. (He had an Italian name!)

    We had to sit in court and listen to a psychiatrist say that he was good man and went to church regularly. The judge didn't allow my daughter to read her statement because he said that he'd already read it. This was a legal violation of her rights.

    When I brought my daughter into the police station to get photos of the bruises they dismissed the victim's assistance people and said they wouldn't be needed!

    He was fined a hundred dollars and sat in jail for four weekends so he could teach during the week. Fortunately the school fired him at the end of the school year.

    He violated the restraining order twice but the court told me to just ignore him and he'd stop!

    I was so angry that I testified on domestic abuse for the State Senate and then things started changing. Years later I still carry some ill will from city employees.

    I hope things have improved since then.

    INFPs may be reticent, but don't nobody lay a hand on my kid!
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  10. #30
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Posts
    8,470

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Anja View Post
    INFPs may be reticent, but don't nobody lay a hand on my kid!
    Amen.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

Similar Threads

  1. How would you react to a "big" person? A celebrity?
    By UnitOfPopulation in forum General Psychology
    Replies: 25
    Last Post: 11-28-2014, 10:42 AM
  2. Replies: 19
    Last Post: 10-31-2013, 04:20 AM
  3. Replies: 30
    Last Post: 08-07-2013, 09:00 PM
  4. How would you react?
    By Queen Kat in forum General Psychology
    Replies: 24
    Last Post: 01-04-2010, 12:52 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO