I don't know what to do with my INFP boyfriend. He's awesome; caring, considerate, loyal, understanding, calm, emphathetic - all the attributes I really hold in a high regard. I feel like we have a connection I've never had with anyone else. Still, I have a few things that I don't understand about him, or that really buzzle me.
I don't always know how to react around him, cause he doesn't manifest his emotions in a way I'm used to seeing (I guess a lot of my friends are extraverted). I'm more like a chameleon - I tend to pick on the "vibes" from the other person and adjust, so sometimes it feels like it's very hard for me to be spontaneous around him, when I get my spontanenous,goofy moments (do I really need another extravert around me to be able to do that? ) I just thought, how would he react if I was to be really goofy and show him even that "crazy" side of me? It's really hard for me to do this if I don't know for sure how the other person takes it.
And... He's told me that he has this one person in his life that he wants to bond and share "himself" with, and only that one. He doesn't feel the need to share his rich inner life with anyone else, so this would mean I'm the most important person to him. He wants love to be eternal - as do I, but no matter how tolerable and understanding I feel I am, it kinda feels like a lot of pressure. I guess he expects the same amount of intimacy from me, but on the contrary I have a lot of close people in my life that I couldn't start rating (I don't a lot, but basically my best friend and my family). Would I be very disappointing partner for him in the long run if I can't provide him what he wants and needs?
I have this side to me that probably is the one that appeals to him (deep, introspective, understanding, intellectual)- but I also have this very out-going, charismatic and spontanenous side, which he doesn't.
On the deeper level I couldn't imagine a better partner - but on the surface, I feel like my interest in interaction, humanitarian missions in general, communicating, having fun, work, are just things he doesn't necessarily "understand". I feel like he's excepting this depth of intimacy I'm never going to be able to provide, although I consider myself a pretty loyal, intimate and extremely caring partner.
Actually now that I wrote this I feel like an idiot, because I'm ashamed of my "extravertness". I don't know what it is, cause I'm truly an introvert, but I'm just sort of naturally drawn to people, "human potential" and spending time with them, to understand. I wish I was like him cause I really like him and I would never want to do anything to hurt him. I'd want to give as much as I could to him - to support him, give him everything he needs, literally give him all those things he craves so deep in the quietness of his soul. But I (this is so weird and silly!) sometimes feel like he doesn't primarily "care" about me, that his priority is just to find "somebody" that will never leave him, and uses me as a tool for this meaning and as an access to his emotions (security?).
I don't know what I'm babbling about If any of you have something to comment (that would make me understand how he might "see" me, cause I know you guys don't easily criticize others and tell if something's bothering you about another person) ,please do, I'd love to hear an "outsiders" thoughts, especially INFP's