[INFP] What to do with an INFP

[jtanSis1]

act more extraverted in your case like what was said before. To make us feel special and appreciated is to want romance as much as possible, since we practically live in romantic world.

 

[lorkan]

itanSis: wow, that answer made sense to me. Short and essential

 

[jtanSis1]

Thank you so much! I knew all those hours of study would come in handy. I hold answers to many big questions, and always try to put them in laymans terms so that they can be used. That's kind of what our type is good for when we are at our best. That and the depth of caring that makes us work so hard for it. Were just not asked often enough because people think we have too many of our own problems, but just helping others with their problems helps solve our own.

 

[Siegfried]

Actually that's very well put, cause I feel that's excatly how it is. Although I do value this in him immensely, it's also quite pressuring, cause I don't necessarily have that "need" as strong (well I don't have you guys' inner life ). What probably worries me the most is that I can't give him that, or at least with the depth he's expecting. I'm worried cause as an INFJ I feel like I'm probably one of the few people that have very good capacity to understand and appreciate him with this amount that I do, not only cause I truly want to help him reach his potential, dreams and give everything I can for him. In a way "nurture" his pains (well I do this with others as well).

Do you INFP's usually get disappointed in people (especially to the significant others) ? And if you do ,how do you cope with it? One of the few things I've noticed is that it's so easy to take you as granted because of your humility and I definately don't want to fall into that trap, although he's making it hard sometimes, cause he's so invested in my needs so incredibly unselfishly . What I would like to make him feel like is the most special and appreciated person in the world.

I am sure he wants to make you feel the most special and appreciated person too, you're so sweet. Don't worry about living up to the pressure, INFPs are very understanding, we're all human. He would also like to make you feel happier internally and heal any pain you feel.

 

[tibby]

act more extraverted in your case like what was said before. To make us feel special and appreciated is to want romance as much as possible, since we practically live in romantic world.

What is romance for INFP's?

 

[Banana]

I am in a relationship wth an INFJ which is very fulfilling but challenging! And considering our hypersensitivities, it has taken a long time to adjust and to really understand the other person.

I love my INFJs weirdness (she is a crazy artist) and I can't believe that a true INFP would ever be put off by individuality, whatever its form.

Unless it forced them to be social or placed them in a conflict situation. If your "extroversion" is met with disinterest or disrespect from your INFP but not explained satisfactorily, maybe ask yourself if you are unintentionally placing them in a position which would require them to be social or perhaps in conflict. I know for me, even socializing with people I adore is so incredibly draining and overcomplicated (thanks to my brain) that I rarely do it at all, even when I miss them! And being around Strangers (which humanitarian acts require) may feel good in the heart, but may also fall into the category of overstimulation.

The only other iNFP I know is like me - he tends to do "charitable" things on a one to one basis, without telling anyone about it, necessarily. So you two may not be as different in this area as you think It is always hard to get to know an IF, takes time.

Just a thought. Good luck!

 

[Udog]

Do you INFP's usually get disappointed in people (especially to the significant others) ?

Generally, only if they screw up knowingly, persistently, or with intent to cause harm.

 

[Thursday]

First thing is to understand what an INFP is. There is a type difference that will leave you pretty blinded to it. There's pretty long argument threads between INFJ and ENFP because of this also.

The thing is we essentially work to the same goal, but our cognitive functions are mirrored. From what I know as INFJ you see feeling out in the world, you feel driven to do things for people, and to show you care. You want to make people comfortable. You also do a lot of deep thinking which you keep to yourself. As ENFP we see feeling in the person, and deep think out in the world. Everything is insanely core and linked. We don't look for comfort or happiness, we look to the soul, where you are, what you are really feeling in it all, where you are being held back from being who you could be. INFP is quite similar but has the feeling function first rather than intuition. The effect is just they seem more caught in feelings. And don't speak as much about their thoughts as ENFPs. But trust me on the fact that you could never be some object to fill a dream. If they love you then you are intricately beautiful to them in ways that you really are. And they see you, maybe sometimes better than you see yourself. Think also of how you idealise love, then make it be at the very core of you. He has probably also shown love in countless ways you miss. If you want to notice them, watch how he helps you develop positively on a personal level. It is subtle, but precise. He'll essentially clear up your thoughts for you. And if you are unsure what to do, love and care and give hugs, and most of all be open and let him see you. They can be slow to start with. But once you know them and they ease up, they are likely to make you feel pretty conservative.

Well damn then. Best One Yet.

 

[Chukamok]

What is romance for INFP's?

I can't and won't speak for all INFPs, but I can tell you what I think is romantic.

Unexpected hugs. Passionate love making. Looking deeply into each others eyes. Snuggling on the couch on a lazy Sunday morning. Any display of meaningful affection.

Ok I have to stop. I've been single for a bit and am depressing the hell out of myself.

 

[Banana]

romantic

Travelling is romantic for me, sharing that with another person. Great art, ideas, etc.

Discussion. Spontaneous displays of sincere, maybe awkward emotion. Passion. Kindness in another can me feel feel very lovey towards them.

My INFJ provides these things naturally - I never have to ask.

 

[sleuthiness]

The perfect romance for me would be one that lacks any emotional fat or excess. Being able to look in her eyes and know that I can be 100% honest with her and get complete support. Stuff of dreams. Stroll around, maybe sit somewhere like a coffee shop where we can watch people or animals walk around, make observations.

 

[CzeCze]

INFPs are interesting animals. I realized lately my last gf is an (unhealthy/under supported) INFP and someone I'm currently dating is INFP. There seems to be a lot of potential for self-delusion and dishonesty spurred by fear. I think INFPs can both want to wholly possess and demand supreme loyalty from partners but at the same time be erratic in their own behavior and think nothing of it. Even in casual relationships, an INFP's attachment or focus can be intense, which can cause confusion for the other party.

For your situation, that sounds like a lot to put out there. It's really a lot of pressure to say "I want you to be the one, my everything, forever" especially in the earlier stages of a relationship. It's highly romantic and idealistic, which is the trademark of INFPs in relationships.

I'm going to guess (type stereotypes be damned) that as an INFJ and from your post, you *want* to be the one for him, you also value commitment and a stable long term relationship, but wonder how to adapt for him? Is that it?

You shouldnt' necessarily want to be that for him and then make yourself conform to his expectations. Deep healthy relationships happen with a lot of work, but there is also a good deal of natural flow and chemistry and true desire of every sense.

At least...I dunno, purely in my own opinion. Some people are really motivated to Serious Relationships and two people who's needs match can have a greatly satisfying relationship by working to meet expectations and fit into roles. There's an element of duty some people have a greater capacity for in terms of love.

Are you happy?

I'm not even sure exactly what you were asking...but that would be my question back to you.

 

[quietmusician]

I think I would be considered an unhealthy INFP. Since the 4w5 part takes over I can easily become dark and fascinated by dying and death. It's not something I'm proud of, it just happens a lot. I would rather keep everything inside until I find the 'one'. I've given people parts of my personality or I've lied in some ways. But the way you're describing him doesn't sound like an unhealthy INFP, so that's good.

 

[jtanSis1]

romance is like breathing for us, in with the love, out with the romance.

 

[iwakar]

I'm not sure if your INFP is the healthy variety or not, but the only way to test the long term viability of your relationship is to start showing him your goofy, extroverted side. Do it in that way that you INFJs do, where you slowly start introducing new aspects of your personality, like slowly peeling layers from an onion. You guys are good at that.

Bravo sir. Someone was paying attention in their "how to recognize an INFJ" class.