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Thread: What to do with an INFP

  1. #31
    jump Array sleuthiness's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    54 so/sp
    IEI Ni


    The perfect romance for me would be one that lacks any emotional fat or excess. Being able to look in her eyes and know that I can be 100% honest with her and get complete support. Stuff of dreams. Stroll around, maybe sit somewhere like a coffee shop where we can watch people or animals walk around, make observations.

  2. #32
    RETIRED Array CzeCze's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007


    INFPs are interesting animals. I realized lately my last gf is an (unhealthy/under supported) INFP and someone I'm currently dating is INFP. There seems to be a lot of potential for self-delusion and dishonesty spurred by fear. I think INFPs can both want to wholly possess and demand supreme loyalty from partners but at the same time be erratic in their own behavior and think nothing of it. Even in casual relationships, an INFP's attachment or focus can be intense, which can cause confusion for the other party.

    For your situation, that sounds like a lot to put out there. It's really a lot of pressure to say "I want you to be the one, my everything, forever" especially in the earlier stages of a relationship. It's highly romantic and idealistic, which is the trademark of INFPs in relationships.

    I'm going to guess (type stereotypes be damned) that as an INFJ and from your post, you *want* to be the one for him, you also value commitment and a stable long term relationship, but wonder how to adapt for him? Is that it?

    You shouldnt' necessarily want to be that for him and then make yourself conform to his expectations. Deep healthy relationships happen with a lot of work, but there is also a good deal of natural flow and chemistry and true desire of every sense.

    At least...I dunno, purely in my own opinion. Some people are really motivated to Serious Relationships and two people who's needs match can have a greatly satisfying relationship by working to meet expectations and fit into roles. There's an element of duty some people have a greater capacity for in terms of love.

    Are you happy?

    I'm not even sure exactly what you were asking...but that would be my question back to you.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux


  3. #33
    Senior Member Array quietmusician's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008


    I think I would be considered an unhealthy INFP. Since the 4w5 part takes over I can easily become dark and fascinated by dying and death. It's not something I'm proud of, it just happens a lot. I would rather keep everything inside until I find the 'one'. I've given people parts of my personality or I've lied in some ways. But the way you're describing him doesn't sound like an unhealthy INFP, so that's good.

  4. #34
    Senior Member Array
    Join Date
    Oct 2008


    romance is like breathing for us, in with the love, out with the romance.

  5. #35


    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    I'm not sure if your INFP is the healthy variety or not, but the only way to test the long term viability of your relationship is to start showing him your goofy, extroverted side. Do it in that way that you INFJs do, where you slowly start introducing new aspects of your personality, like slowly peeling layers from an onion. You guys are good at that.
    Bravo sir. Someone was paying attention in their "how to recognize an INFJ" class.
    "There is no god; there is only us. Savage and fragile."

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