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  1. #1
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    Default How do ENFPs show affection/interest?

    I'm on my college's debate team with this ENFP girl. Lately she's been going out of her way to greet me or talk to me about something, when I would've normally with my INTJ coldness not acknowledged her or slightly acknowledged her (not because I don't like her, just because I'm so ingrained in my own thoughts). I've also noticed her trying to start even more conversations with me and as we're talking she's been touching me in some way and I'm not sure if she does that to other guys, but I haven't seen it. She also seems to listen to what I say with interest too when I'm talking around her.

    So I was wondering, what do you guys think? And in general how do ENFPs show affection or interest?

    Thanks

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jgib5328 View Post
    I'm on my college's debate team with this ENFP girl. Lately she's been going out of her way to greet me or talk to me about something, when I would've normally with my INTJ coldness not acknowledged her or slightly acknowledged her (not because I don't like her, just because I'm so ingrained in my own thoughts). I've also noticed her trying to start even more conversations with me and as we're talking she's been touching me in some way and I'm not sure if she does that to other guys, but I haven't seen it. She also seems to listen to what I say with interest too when I'm talking around her.

    So I was wondering, what do you guys think? And in general how do ENFPs show affection or interest?

    Thanks
    That sounds like an ENFP just being an ENFP.

    How do I show attention to a girl I like? It starts with with me trying to get to know the person in many different ways. And conversation is key. I'll sometimes start weaving in metaphors and story lines so that the longer we talk, the more intimate and yet surreal the conversations become. The storylines become the reason for the next activity (for example, some how we'll have decided that we cohorts in crime and we have to go out to dinner to plot our heist). That will lead to the next activity (the heist is being done at the museum, which we obviously have to visit in order to get a layout). Touch is worked into the story line (I'll check her hands and measure them to see what size gloves I need to get, touch her hair while thoughtfully considering the best spy wig to get).

    I think for me, I love the electricity and the tension. I love to see what someone else will contribute to the story line. I love to see someone's imagination kick in and doing goofy things together. And I love the growing anticipation. I've been known to do stuff like this for a month or more before there is even a kiss.

    Perhaps I believe that foreplay can begin at "hello" and not just when the lights go off.

    If I'm paying attention to what you say and listening intently... that's not flirting. That's me paying attention to what you say and listening intently because you are interesting.

    Then again, maybe that's just me.

  3. #3
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    if i like like you you'll know it...i might say hey...you're interesting...come talk to me haha
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
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  4. #4
    movin melodies kiddykat's Avatar
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    From the info provided, sounds like she's just being her friendly ol' self.

    I tend to be friendly (minus the part of touching the guy) to guys that I see as friends. I talk to them like I would anybody. I talk to them as if they were one of my girlfriends. I guess that's what gets me in trouble.

    When I like a guy, how do I act? I subconsciously tend to get coy. It depends on each ENFP female. I show interest in subtle ways by smiling, shying away.. In any case, I acknowledge the guy, though. I find that I'm less myself, because I become a bit more self-conscious. If he's a hot stud muffin- I get rrRed.

  5. #5
    Broud Balestinian G-Virus's Avatar
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    I read somewhere (maybe on this site) that ENFP's actually behave in a way that is contradictory to what they normally act like. For example, ENFP's are naturally charming, funny, zany, quirky and loud, if they found you attractive in anyway, they would become shy, introverted, introspective, and more self conscious in a cute/wierd way.

    Is this true guys?
    Seek freedom and become captive of your desires, seek discipline and find your liberty.

    "If you go looking for something in particular, your chances of finding it are very bad, because of all the things in the world, you're only looking for one of them. If you go looking for anything at all, your chances of finding it are very good, because of all the things in the world, you're sure to find some of them."

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by G-Virus View Post
    I read somewhere (maybe on this site) that ENFP's actually behave in a way that is contradictory to what they normally act like. For example, ENFP's are naturally charming, funny, zany, quirky and loud, if they found you attractive in anyway, they would become shy, introverted, introspective, and more self conscious in a cute/wierd way.

    Is this true guys?
    Well sort of for me, but I'm borderline I almost. It really depends on the personality type. Some make me quieter, some drive me to want to go nuts and be more ENFPish.
    Freude, schöner Götterfunken Tochter aus Elysium, Wir betreten feuertrunken, Himmlische, dein Heiligtum! Deine Zauber binden wieder Was die Mode streng geteilt; Alle Menschen werden Brüder, Wo dein sanfter Flügel weilt.

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    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jgib5328 View Post
    So I was wondering, what do you guys think? And in general how do ENFPs show affection or interest?
    It can be anything. She might really be interested in you in the way ENFP's see people as interesting (at least I do) or she might think you are attractive. I really couldn't say.

    I would recommend you keep on observing her and talking to her and maybe she'll ask you out if she's interested (and if you are interested of going out with her).

    Quote Originally Posted by G-Virus View Post
    I read somewhere (maybe on this site) that ENFP's actually behave in a way that is contradictory to what they normally act like. For example, ENFP's are naturally charming, funny, zany, quirky and loud, if they found you attractive in anyway, they would become shy, introverted, introspective, and more self conscious in a cute/wierd way.

    Is this true guys?
    This very true to me, sometimes. Sometimes I just might be the one who makes the first move even if I don't have to make the first move anymore because I'm married and actually I was the one who made the first move..... go figure that out!

  8. #8
    Senior Member Nameless's Avatar
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    If she is giving you "extra" attention, she is interested in you for some reason. Whether it is romantic or not I don't know.

    I know "just be yourself" is a common piece of advice people throw out about this kind of stuff, but I would say it is extra important around ENFPs...few things are a bigger turnoff than "fakeness." Whatever you usually do anyway is something this ENFP came over to check you out about to begin with.

    And finally, when I like someone (I don't know if it applies for girls?), the interest depends on the person. If they can keep up with some intuitive verbal sparring or my sense of humor, then they get extra of that thrown at them. Lots of "clever" teasing (at least I think it is; not everyone would agree). If they aren't receptive to those kind of things, then the quiet shyness (as described above) often comes out...

    Good luck!

  9. #9
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    It would be my reaction to you as well. Why? Well, chances are you're pretty smart and have shown that somehow. Yet you stay pretty much in the background. Even worse..you don't acknowledge her that much. That is asking for attention of an ENFP dude :p She'll wanna know why you are that way and what makes you tick And, chances are, if she can establish a connection with you, a deep emotional one, she'll get interested. Right now, though, she's scouting :P
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  10. #10
    Broud Balestinian G-Virus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    It would be my reaction to you as well. Why? Well, chances are you're pretty smart and have shown that somehow. Yet you stay pretty much in the background. Even worse..you don't acknowledge her that much. That is asking for attention of an ENFP dude :p She'll wanna know why you are that way and what makes you tick And, chances are, if she can establish a connection with you, a deep emotional one, she'll get interested. Right now, though, she's scouting :P
    And god damn are you guys good at scouting. ENFP's are the psychologists and can really figure people out better than any of the other types. I think it has something to do with projecting your own awsomely understood emotional sense onto others and seeing how they would react to similar situations. You guys are just good at walking a mile in someones shoes before you even know them.
    Seek freedom and become captive of your desires, seek discipline and find your liberty.

    "If you go looking for something in particular, your chances of finding it are very bad, because of all the things in the world, you're only looking for one of them. If you go looking for anything at all, your chances of finding it are very good, because of all the things in the world, you're sure to find some of them."

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