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  1. #51
    Pareo cattus Natrushka's Avatar
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    It wasn't hogwash at all. Maybe it's me, but I understood that. I do that. And I think it might be one of the things about me that annoys people.

    This signature left intentionally blank.

    Really.

  2. #52
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mycroft View Post
    ...I'd always wondered how you INFJs reconcile the inherently ruthless nature of Ni with having Fe as your secondary function.
    I think you're right: Ni is a little ruthless.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  3. #53
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    I think you're right: Ni is a little ruthless.
    but eerily attractive at the same time...
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  4. #54
    Senior Member Kyrielle's Avatar
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    Stangely, I fantasise a lot about protecting someone close to me....of course it's never just, "Go away, you horrible fiend!" It's always something far more violent (like growing fangs and ripping the offender to bits and pieces). And it scares me sometimes because it's so merciless...I worry that I'll actually do that one day--perhaps the worst part being that I'd might take pleasure in doing so.

    I also fantasise about travelling countrysides and going on adventures. Today, I was the messanger for a king and roamed the woodlands with my partner to a province ruled by a grumpy, old lord. We had the ability to shapeshift. The roads were really muddy.

  5. #55
    Senior Member niffer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kyrielle View Post
    Stangely, I fantasise a lot about protecting someone close to me....of course it's never just, "Go away, you horrible fiend!" It's always something far more violent (like growing fangs and ripping the offender to bits and pieces). And it [remove]scares me sometimes because[/remove] it's so merciless...[remove]I worry that I'll actually do that one day--perhaps the worst part being that[/remove] I'd [remove]might[/remove] take pleasure in doing so.


    Quote Originally Posted by Kyrielle View Post
    I also fantasise about travelling countrysides and going on adventures. Today, I was the messanger for a king and roamed the woodlands with my partner to a province ruled by a grumpy, old lord. We had the ability to shapeshift. The roads were really muddy.
    sparkly sparkly rainbow excretions

    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    holy shit am I a feeler?
    if you like my avatar, it's because i took it myself! : D

  6. #56
    Senior Member indigo2020's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    They're probably not all as psychotic as me, nor have they read a bunch of Tom Clancy and Stephen Hunter novels.
    I beg to differ.

    I used to have lots of fantasies about people I hated like their cars or trucks crashing, catching fire, blowing up and visualize them on fire, screaming while I grin and maybe even laugh (I also do not have fantasies like this anymore - life has gotten better for me too).

    I do sometimes still visualize punching people, throwing things at them or hitting them with an iron skillet when I get angry (when they "cross" me).

    I am on an INFJ list and yes, we do get this way when we feel threatened.

    So a reminder, don't cross an INFJ!
    People who get nostalgic about childhood were obviously never children.
    Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes
    US cartoonist (1958 - )

  7. #57
    Senior Member indigo2020's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    This is totally off the cuff (and I admit it), but the very first thought that ran through my mind (and I will just think about women right now, although it might apply to men):

    Are INFJ women terrified at the thought of lashing out at / hurting others?
    And are INTJ women terrified at the thought of being powerless?

    [Control issue: One fears losing control and hurting others, the other fears losing control and not being able to resolve/accomplish things]

    And could these fears be what is coming out in the dreams? Are these negative feelings suppressed during the day and/or otherwise ignored, only to be dredged up by the subconscious and dealt with during sleep and/or daydreaming?

    I wonder...
    IMHO, yes, I like and agree with this theory. I am very afraid of hurting people and I also have a lot of nightmares where I am the instigator of the violent act. I also have a lot of nightmares where I am the victim too though.

    Often I have nightmares where I accidentally allow something violent happen to someone I love, like my daughter, close friends or other family members. That is the protective nature in the INFJ.

    I fantasize a lot also about going on trips, writing novels, visiting with my friends and family, what I am going to say to someone (rehearsing what I will say over and over).
    People who get nostalgic about childhood were obviously never children.
    Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes
    US cartoonist (1958 - )

  8. #58
    Senior Member indigo2020's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mycroft View Post
    ...I'd always wondered how you INFJs reconcile the inherently ruthless nature of Ni with having Fe as your secondary function.
    Sometimes I really hate being an INFJ for this very reason. The Ni part of me wants to say whatever I want, speak out and not care what the fuck people think. Then the damn Fe part (like right now as I write this and pretty much anytime I write or talk with anyone - it's kind of tortuous - maybe it's just me or do other INFJ's do this?) kicks in and I feel like, oh crap, what did I just say, write, do? Did I offend anyone? Did I hurt their feelings? Did I say something weird/stupid/crazy?

    Isn't life grand? At least I have a sense of humor.
    People who get nostalgic about childhood were obviously never children.
    Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes
    US cartoonist (1958 - )

  9. #59
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by indigo2020 View Post
    Sometimes I really hate being an INFJ for this very reason. The Ni part of me wants to say whatever I want, speak out and not care what the fuck people think. Then the damn Fe part (like right now as I write this and pretty much anytime I write or talk with anyone - it's kind of tortuous - maybe it's just me or do other INFJ's do this?) kicks in and I feel like, oh crap, what did I just say, write, do? Did I offend anyone? Did I hurt their feelings? Did I say something weird/stupid/crazy? Isn't life grand? At least I have a sense of humor.
    Word.

    My Fe is more developed than most INTPs, it was rather beaten into me at a young age, but this is the same experience I have. I get really sick of the compulsion I have to edit everything I say on the fly to make sure it doesn't offend someone needlessly -- and just ignoring the Fe doesn't help, because soon enough I'll start to get neurotic about how I went out on a limb.

    (No matter what I do, I fret over it even if I tell myself things are fine.)

    And laughing at it is really the only way to avoid going batty.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  10. #60
    Oberon
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    My Fe is more developed than most INTPs, it was rather beaten into me at a young age, but this is the same experience I have. I get really sick of the compulsion I have to edit everything I say on the fly to make sure it doesn't offend someone needlessly -- and just ignoring the Fe doesn't help, because soon enough I'll start to get neurotic about how I went out on a limb.
    My approach is generally to go ahead and throw water (or gasoline) on the conversational fire, and then apologize afterward if necessary. Or not.

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