User Tag List

123 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 67

  1. #1
    Senior Member penelope's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    INxJ
    Posts
    249

    Default This ENFP guy is driving me crazy!

    Me = INFJ.

    Him = ENFP.

    I've spent some time with him. There've been romantic happenings, so there's no denial in attraction. And I'm on my toes with this guy. I can't get comfortable enough to feel confident (and I usually am) because I can tell he sees straight through me. It's like he knows me better than myself and I feel completely exposed, and I'm not sure if how it makes me feel is wrong or good. I'm extremely attracted to him and his intensity and confidence and it's a big change from guys in my past (usually I attract the guys that are as feminine as me or just as emotional). But I just can't get comfortable in my own skin around him. And I just can't tell how genuinely interested he is in me rather than a chase and capture or if it's even a power thing for him. He's very charming, very comedic, very confident and passionate in everything he does and I could so very easily be smitten. But something in my gut just can't get comfortable. Is this just because I've never met someone able to see past all my defenses? Or should I dig further and be careful?

    The funny thing is that I'm irresistibly attracted to him... he's really got some sort of power over me. It's bizarre.

    ps: is there some way to make this thread viewable to members only?

  2. #2
    IRL is not real Cimarron's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    ISTJ
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/so
    Posts
    3,424

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by penelope View Post
    ps: is there some way to make this thread viewable to members only?
    I think the "Personal Thread" sections of the forum are all member-only viewing. So this should be fine.
    Last edited by Cimarron; 11-19-2008 at 04:03 AM. Reason: result
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

  3. #3
    mountain surfing nomadic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    MBTI
    enfp
    Posts
    1,709

    Default

    yeah, when things get like that for me with a girl... the best response she can have from recollection is question whether im like that with every girl i meet... and what i look for in a girl for a long term relationship. dunno for him, but for me, its very hard to be dishonest about those things...

    And I just can't tell how genuinely interested he is in me rather than a chase and capture or if it's even a power thing for him.

  4. #4
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    MBTI
    type
    Posts
    9,100

    Default

    *shrug* Might find this helpful, might not. Mirror relations between psychological ("personality") types

  5. #5
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    Enfp
    Enneagram
    497 sx/so
    Socionics
    IEE Fi
    Posts
    14,657

    Default

    *Smiles* See if he's willing to drop his walls around you, so you're both equally naked. And see if you can get him to seriously talk about intimate things. I'm not male, but for me there's a difference between flirting and genuinly being attracted and you can tell by wether or not my silly switch is on constantly, or if I'm really able to talk about serious stuff with you on a very very intimate level. If that's the case, then there is definite attraction.

    Also, let him contact you. If you're just another girl to him, he will be too distracted to constantly contact you (too many projects). Do make it worth his while when he does! Otherwise, he'll move on. If he can't stay away from you, you have a pretty good chance at him being totally into you

    Good luck
    Amargith

    PS: to the male ENFPs, feel free to validate this or tell me it doesn't work this way for males
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  6. #6
    Senior Member penelope's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    INxJ
    Posts
    249

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jack Flak View Post
    *shrug* Might find this helpful, might not. Mirror relations between psychological ("personality") types
    Oooh, thanks for that link... it helps explain a certain dynamic he and I have (and it's funny... we worked together on an artistic project yesterday and butted heads).

    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    *Smiles* See if he's willing to drop his walls around you, so you're both equally naked. And see if you can get him to seriously talk about intimate things. I'm not male, but for me there's a difference between flirting and genuinly being attracted and you can tell by wether or not my silly switch is on constantly, or if I'm really able to talk about serious stuff with you on a very very intimate level. If that's the case, then there is definite attraction.

    Also, let him contact you. If you're just another girl to him, he will be too distracted to constantly contact you (too many projects). Do make it worth his while when he does! Otherwise, he'll move on. If he can't stay away from you, you have a pretty good chance at him being totally into you

    Good luck
    Amargith

    PS: to the male ENFPs, feel free to validate this or tell me it doesn't work this way for males
    Hm, then it seems things are good, because he does drop his walls around me, is fairly personal and talks about intimate things willingly. And every time we've spent time together, he's initiated it. So that makes me feel a bit better... it's just so weird being around a type like him. I normally keep my close group of friends (lots of other INFs).

    Thanks!

    I could definitely use some input from the ENFP guys too...

  7. #7
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    9w1 sx/so
    Posts
    18,086

    Default

    yeah...you're trying to control it...don't.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  8. #8
    Senior Member penelope's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    INxJ
    Posts
    249

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by erinavery View Post
    yeah...you're trying to control it...don't.
    Really? I think I'm just trying to feel my way around it because he's really throwing me off... and I'm faily uncomfortable with the dynamic that's created between he and I but I'm still really attracted to him.

    Controlling, though. Possibly... I've been trying to learn how to let go and let things happen, but this situation is way too new for me to do that I think.

  9. #9
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    9w1 sx/so
    Posts
    18,086

    Default

    i just mean you're trying to be in control of your faculties...haha...your reaction...most people do...but i think we like to be striped down naked and vulnerable and let things just happen...

    and our confidence and willingness to do so can be intimidating to most people...at first...but i would never fake it...and if i like you you'll know it.
    and it's very possible that it's completely irresponsible...

    so...you can just go with it if you like him...or tell him to back off and give you a bit of room to get comfortable...he should respect that you need that.

    from my perspective anyway...
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  10. #10
    EvanTheClown (ETC) Clownmaster's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    2
    Socionics
    IEE
    Posts
    965

    Default

    As an ENFP guy, its really hard to tone down the intensity in relationships, or prospects for relationships, especially in early phases. I don't know how fast I should be moving emotionally. I can read how they react to what I say and do, but its hard to judge how much I should press my personality onto them.

    From what you've said, he opens up to you just as much as he gets you to open up to him, which is a good thing. As long as I'm single, I do small flirting, little sexual references here and there to the girls I have any attraction or interest in at all, but when I'm actually interested in a girl I try to get to know her inner workings and craft a real bonding connection. The problem with this is that I'm so openly willing to make the attachment that I can only imagine it to be hard for someone less open to keep up.
    And I can switch from intimate conversation mode to "hey lets go eat and socialize" jovial conversation mode on a whim, which must be confusing.

    Because you can't spell "Slaughter" without "Laughter"

Similar Threads

  1. [INTP] What does this INTP guy want from me?
    By white00 in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 11-08-2017, 10:30 PM
  2. [ENFP] This ENFP is confusing me
    By strangecat in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 04-02-2017, 04:20 AM
  3. Please help me work out my type? It's driving me crazy
    By Kepner in forum What's my Type?
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 06-01-2014, 03:39 PM
  4. Help. Explorer is driving me nuts re Certificates
    By Tiltyred in forum Science, Technology, and Future Tech
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 06-04-2012, 09:46 AM
  5. [ESFJ] My ESFJ is driving me nuts!!
    By Stu Katz in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 04-16-2011, 08:01 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO