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  1. #11
    Broud Balestinian G-Virus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    Aww, Desperado you sound a little sullen.

    You don't have to be a prisoner of your Fe. You can choose who gets your kindness and sympathy and who doesn't.

    Little questions that have helped me:

    Is this my concern or my responsibility? Am I overstepping my boundaries?
    How much can I really do for this person?
    Am I truly willing and able to take this on? How will it affect me?
    Why am I attracted to the type of people who would abuse my sympathies?

    It's easy to get sucked into the "I do this that and the other; why can't they see I need help myself?" mentality and start throwing lightning bolts at people. The most helpful piece of advice I've gotten is asking myself why I attracted the type of people I did. Once I began to figure that out I thought of ways I could change my behavior and be more discriminating towards people. Don't feel obliged to welcome every sob story into your arms and deplete yourself. It's possible to find a balance between enjoying to help people and being munched on by overgrazers.

    This is an awsome post. Fe dominants aren't the only ones that get used by others, so I think if you start a thread detailing what you have learned in respect to this, it would be a serious winner of a thread full of valuable lessons for others. I don't know about everyone else, but I personally would love to get some of your insight.
    Seek freedom and become captive of your desires, seek discipline and find your liberty.

    "If you go looking for something in particular, your chances of finding it are very bad, because of all the things in the world, you're only looking for one of them. If you go looking for anything at all, your chances of finding it are very good, because of all the things in the world, you're sure to find some of them."

  2. #12
    Let's make this showy! raz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by G-Virus View Post
    Fe dominants aren't the only ones that get used by others
    I'll be honest, I've manipulated people that have that caring and "I want to help you" attitude. Usually it's just, "I have something I'm doing, but there's something else I need to do and can't. So, I'll have this other person do it that's jumping up and down for something to do."

    That's not why I want to find ENFJ's though. I just find I get along best with them when they're not in their condescending mode.

  3. #13

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    FYI: ENFJs don't hide. They're just busy charming people.
    "The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things." - Rainer Maria Rilke

  4. #14
    Junior Member Starphoenix's Avatar
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    I'm new here. I'm an ENFJ.

  5. #15
    Senior Member Leysing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Starphoenix View Post
    I'm new here. I'm an ENFJ.
    Welcome. We need more of you here.

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by raz1337 View Post
    Those ENFJ's are proving to be people that I really like. So, where can I find more of them? How can I spot them?
    They're rare, and then not really the message board type.

    Two specific spotting tips: (1) at work, look at the recruiters in your HR department ..... (2) at church, look at your Sunday School teachers. Spot the high-energy person with a genuine (in the HR example: not a company facade, but a true genuine) interest in everyone's well-being and there's a good chance you've found an ENFJ.

  7. #17
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    I absolutely love my ENFJ coach. His laugh, mannerisms, optimism, high energy...I always feel better when I am around him. But I find it so curious that the qualities that I appreciate most in him are the ones he tries to suppress.

    Oh, he can usually be found 1) motivating someone 2) teaching 3) with his kids

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    I absolutely love my ENFJ coach. His laugh, mannerisms, optimism, high energy...I always feel better when I am around him. But I find it so curious that the qualities that I appreciate most in him are the ones he tries to suppress.
    He's ESFP. (I'm not sure, but pretend I am.)

  9. #19
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jack Flak View Post
    He's ESFP. (I'm not sure, but pretend I am.)
    No, I'm 100% sure he is NF. He goes on and on about his visions for our team and he is very dedicated to his causes. The only other type that I would even consider is ENFP, but he strikes me as a high J type. Yeah, scratch that, he is a high J type.

  10. #20
    Let's make this showy! raz's Avatar
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    My sister's an ENFJ, but after living with her so long, she's annoying, heh. ENFJ's seem to always think they know what's best for you. They shock you with their creativity. They'll drop everything to be your personal cheerleader. If they find a cause they're interested in, they'll BECOME the cause. They'll know everything about everyone in order to best treat them. And under all that, they're actually GENUINE.

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