[MBTI General] estj/infj relationships

[BookLady]

What are the strengths, weaknesses, challenges to this relationship????

 

[Atomic Fiend]

You scratch my back and I'll stay out of your way.

 

[Jack Flak]

Relations of Duality between psychological ("personality") types

 

[fleurdujour]

i am an infj and my mother is an estj. while i can't help with what romantic relationships between the two are like, i can tell you that the relationship we had as mother and daughter was VERY rocky for a while (probably from about my age 13-19). i am not sure if this is because of developmental milestones and our differences (Fe developing and whatnot, as they say certain functions do at certain periods in your life) or just because of the fact that we were so different (most of the time the rockiness was due to my being very upset that she wouldn't let me be myself and my feeling that she did not care enough about me--the deep inner me). i think the weakness, then, is that estjs can be very point-a-to-point-b without much room for wavering and also that they strongly desire to take control of everything (which strongly smashes against infj--or any nf--need for independence). also, she overwhelmed me with her STRONG extroversion (detail-oriented, thinking-focused extroversion, which felt really cold and draining). probably for her, i was frustrating because i was not detail oriented (which she thought was downright rebellion at times, but it wasn't--i was actually a VERY conscientious and focused kid) and also because i was not willing to accept being told something "just because i said so" if i didn't believe in it myself--i had too strongly deep-rooted convictions and free-thinking thought.

however, as i grew older (and moved out--that was probably the biggest thing), our relationship has actually grown to be a pretty good one. we do understand each other pretty well now and can enjoy some good, even relatively deep conversations at times. we also have fun when we go places together. all of the things that are listed as benefits of a "duality pair" on socionics.com (which actually has a lot of good and very true--at least in my opinion--relationship descriptions of the interactions between different types), as another poster provided the link for. i think the relationship between infj and estj has the potential to be a very good one, but if it were one where they were going to be spending a lot of time together and/or, especially, living together, they would have to be very open to working toward better understanding one another and each other's needs.

 

[Chris_in_Orbit]

I don't see why it couldn't work out. If anyone can take an ESTj's blunt and direct approach it would be an INFJ.

 

[Lauren Ashley]

I don't see why it couldn't work out. If anyone can take an ESTj's blunt and direct approach it would be an INFJ.

I have no problem with someone being blunt. I just don't like feeling that someone is trying to control me and herd me around like cattle. And the ESTJs I know tend to do this.

 

[Silent Stars]

I don't see why it couldn't work out. If anyone can take an ESTj's blunt and direct approach it would be an INFJ.

I actually love that. It's a nice change of pace from having to deal with so many others who are very indirect about everything, and I find it rather endearing, in a way, and quite often hilarious. I personally could only ever be intimately involved with someone is who is like that.

 

[fleurdujour]

I actually love that. It's a nice change of pace from having to deal with so many others who are very indirect about everything, and I find it rather endearing, in a way, and quite often hilarious. I personally could only ever be intimately involved with someone is who is like that.

Agreed. I need a decent amount of honesty in relationships (both romantic and non-romantic), ESTJs and other straightforward types' directness is usually refreshing in this sphere--no game-playing (which I absolutely can't stand).

 

[karenk]

Most INFJs are INFPs in socionics, so it's a conflicting relationship. ESTP is INFJ's dual.

(I wouldn't want to even imagine an ESTJ/INFJ relationship. *shudder*)

 

[redacted]

If they're immature, it would be horrible.

If they're mature, it would work fine. Or it wouldn't, and they'd know and separate.

Lol. I'm sure that didn't help at all, since it's true for all people.

 

[Silent Stars]

Most INFJs are INFPs in socionics, so it's a conflicting relationship. ESTP is INFJ's dual.

(I wouldn't want to even imagine an ESTJ/INFJ relationship. *shudder*)

I'm actually an INFj in Socionics as well.

 

[fleurdujour]

I'm actually an INFj in Socionics as well.

ditto

 

[Lauren Ashley]

I'm actually an INFj in Socionics as well.

ditto^2

 

[redacted]

I'm confused. Doesn't socionics just have a different code?

Like, INFJ in MBTI is Ni-Fe and INFp in socionics is also Ni-Fe... So how can someone be INFJ in MBTI and INFj in socionics?

 

[redacted]

Maybe they're almost 50/50 on the J/P, which would still tip one way though but maybe it's more difficult to differentiate.

Why would you pick one way for MBTI and a different way for socionics? Are the functions not defined the same way?

 

[karenk]

Why would you pick one way for MBTI and a different way for socionics? Are the functions not defined the same way?

You quoted me so fast. I just meant maybe they made a mistake in one of the systems because they're on the cusp. I wrote previusly, "Most INFJs are INFPs in socionics" to try to prevent a discussion on whether you flip the last letter. ha.

 

[redacted]

You quoted me so fast. ha. I just meant maybe they made a mistake in one of the systems because they're on the cusp.

Yeah, but three people in a row? I find it more likely that they have some knowledge I don't have about the difference between the systems. Or they are using different definitions than I am.

(I'm using live new posts, which is why I responded quickly.)

 

[karenk]

Yeah, but three people in a row? I find it more likely that they have some knowledge I don't have about the difference between the systems. Or they are using different definitions than I am.

The discussion begins.........

 

[redacted]

The discussion begins.........

I just read an article and it looks like the confusion is that MBTI is considered to be defined by 4 dichotomies whereas socionics is more defined by functions. By that logic, I'm an INTP in MBTI and an INFp in socionics, I guess.

I define MBTI types by functions, but maybe not everyone does.

 

[fleurdujour]

Ha wow well I am basing my double INFJ off of test results (many MBTI tests in books and online), which are always solid INFJ and socionics on socionics.com (which was solid INFJ), if that helps?