She drives me nuts when she's here, but I always miss her when she's gone. It's like we do have fun and we are good friends, and I understand her need to get help. Can't I be a little selfish and say I wish she hadn't left? I know I do say some pretty mean stuff about her, but I realized if I'm able to rip someone apart and let their actions affect me then I do care for them. Most people I wouldn't be bothered by what they do, it's like once I'm emotionally invested in someone I'm attached and I have a hard time letting go, even if I know I need to. I just can't let go, it's not that simple, I do better with the person leaving me. I know this will be a bad trait if I ever date and if I'm ever in an abusive relationship.
So any other NFs have this problem? what is it about the people that repeatly hurt you cause you to stay? Is it low self-esteem, or is it something else. I know for me I see both the good and the bad in people and part of me hopes things will get better, but at the same time I don't expect them to. So if I have such low expectations for the other person, what is it that makes me stay? or you? I also I'm always aware of how much worse things could be so maybe that's why. I'm babbling sorry. Is it a maturity thing? when I mature more will I then be able to leave people easier? or will I always end up with the same type of self destructive people for friends?
sorry I made this all about me, but I really do want other NFs experiences to read about, so ignore the above 2 paragraphs (mostly) and tell me about your relationships and letting go, and why you think you do this.