User Tag List

First 2345 Last

Results 31 to 40 of 50

  1. #31
    Junior Member jamisloan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7
    Posts
    13

    Default

    I know for me it's that I try to always see the best in every situation... no matter what. So I always forgive people no matter what (if I have stong feelings about them). I haven't been able to let go of someone for 7 years now and we aren't even together... but I can't let go of it. It feels like it's something inside of me that won't let me. Also, I always think if I do let go... what if something could have happened had I not. I look at things like it would suck way worse regretting something that you didn't do as opposed to something you did do. So I'd rather just keep on and see what happens than to let go and never know.

  2. #32
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    9w1
    Posts
    4

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Kungpowish View Post
    I know what you mean, I feel like leaving someone is a betrayal, not logically, just on a gut level.
    Me too. For some reason, no matter how unhappy I am, I feel like it would be wrong to walk away from someone. I also will invariably put their desires above my own. So if I know my cutting things off will hurt them, I'll choose to be miserable myself rather than hurt them by ending things. And guess what, it's made me miserable...

    What would need to happen is some big moral infraction, and then I could chalk it up to incompatible values and not have a problem at all.

    Quote Originally Posted by jtanSis1 View Post
    Easiest way to get over someone is to act as if you don't know them, as a complete stranger. They are back to square 1. As for your own emotions, you have to return to how your life was before you met them, obviously you've changed some but emotions can go back to a more lower level. This is how you leave rebound period.
    I agree, and this really is the only way I'm able to do it. I can't re-adjust so much as I have to end the whole thing and start completely anew.

    Quote Originally Posted by jamisloan View Post
    I know for me it's that I try to always see the best in every situation... no matter what. So I always forgive people no matter what (if I have stong feelings about them). I haven't been able to let go of someone for 7 years now and we aren't even together... but I can't let go of it. It feels like it's something inside of me that won't let me. Also, I always think if I do let go... what if something could have happened had I not. I look at things like it would suck way worse regretting something that you didn't do as opposed to something you did do. So I'd rather just keep on and see what happens than to let go and never know.
    I am also plagued by thoughts that if I give up, what if the breakthrough was just around the corner? I feel that in walking away, there's always that possibility that things would have been different had you stayed. Perhaps the solution is to just hone in on presently-available good things to want.

  3. #33
    Member Pandar's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    78

    Default

    I think I will always have that problem...My dad and I used to have a great relationship. And absolutely wonderful father-daughter whatchyamacallit. When I was fifteen my father hurt me emotionally, essentially damaging our relationship forever. He allowed my stepmother to yell at me for three hours and about halfway through I tried to leave. He told me to sit down, because I needed to hear what she had to say. Apparently what I needed to hear was a drunk woman raving about how her relationship with my father is more important than my relationship with him....

    I pretended to understand. Went along with the flow. I was halfway through a month long visit cross country, so I couldn't just up and leave. I was only fifteen. When my high school graduation started to come around the corner I notified my dad. Thinking that he would remember all the good stuff and put aside the negativity, from wherever it came from (I still don't know why he allowed the incident to occur or what I had done to offend my stepmother). I thought he would fly out here and be proud of me, I am his only child and my stepmother can not have children. No. He didn't respond to my first email. He responded to my second with 'I will not be attending'. No 'I apologize' no 'I'm sorry'. I didn't even receive a card from him.

    I've tried emailing him off and on. About my accomplishments or whatever was going on. No responses. I receive my American FFA Degree in October. Something that takes an average of five years to complete and is the highest honor in the National FFA Association.

    I will be lucky to get a congratulations and yet no matter what my dad is the one I cry for when I am saddest. He always will be.

    So yeah. That is my never let go story.
    I may burst into random song or sit quietly and read. I may argue about something I know nothing about, or help those in need. I don't know everything about the world, but I know me.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  4. #34
    Senior Member gigi_xo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    4w3
    Posts
    384

    Default

    I stayed in one of the world's worst relationships for 2 years

    and even now, looking back knowing all I know, I doubt I would have left him.

    stupid "love"
    I live my life for the stars that shine & people say its just a waste of time- Oasis

    Extroverted (E) 65.63% Introverted (I) 34.38%
    Intuitive (N) 89.31% Sensing (S) 10.69%
    Feeling (F) 74.29% Thinking (T) 25.71%
    Perceiving (P) 74.19% Judging (J) 25.81%


    3w4

  5. #35
    Banned
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    6w5
    Posts
    3,278

    Default

    I just see the possible potential in everything and everyone,not just the good but also the bad.
    Good and bad exist in everyone and being one does not cancel out the other.
    So this makes me very understanding of inappropriate behavior in others.. even hurtful behavior.. and by understanding even in situations when I can't empathize, I eventually forgive, especially if I love the person.
    This can make letting go very difficult.

  6. #36
    Senior Member Quiet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    5
    Posts
    321

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by No Exit View Post
    I just see the possible potential in everything and everyone,not just the good but also the bad.
    Good and bad exist in everyone and being one does not cancel out the other.
    So this makes me very understanding of inappropriate behavior in others.. even hurtful behavior.. and by understanding even in situations when I can't empathize, I eventually forgive, especially if I love the person.
    This can make letting go very difficult.
    Yes, I can relate.

  7. #37
    Junior Member Falling Snow's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    3&7
    Posts
    13

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by cherchair View Post
    Once I see potential in someone--even, maybe especially, if it's unrealizable--I'm hooked.
    This has been my pattern and I am actively working to change this!! I read this site every day!


    Quote Originally Posted by nolla View Post
    It's funny that what you are is often what you get. At least for me it has been that way. It seems like I attract exactly the type of people who are messed up in the same ways as I am.

    I sound like a cynic, maybe. But the thing is, as someone pointed out, that the media has created a huge myth around romance and it's not easy to not be obsessed about wanting all of those things. A bit like it is not easy not to want that bigger house or a bigger car.
    I do think it's to do with one's own unresolved stuff - it's certainly something worth investigating if one wants to have more successful relationships I think. I liked that last para - I hadn't ever quite seen it that way! I was aware of the media influence, but not that it was 'selling' something just as much as other adverts. I guess the whole cosmetic, beauty, therapy and other industries are fed by romantic films...

    Quote Originally Posted by Pandar View Post
    I think I will always have that problem...My dad and I used to have a great relationship. And absolutely wonderful father-daughter whatchyamacallit. When I was fifteen my father hurt me emotionally, essentially damaging our relationship forever. He allowed my stepmother to yell at me for three hours and about halfway through I tried to leave. He told me to sit down, because I needed to hear what she had to say. Apparently what I needed to hear was a drunk woman raving about how her relationship with my father is more important than my relationship with him....

    I pretended to understand. Went along with the flow. I was halfway through a month long visit cross country, so I couldn't just up and leave. I was only fifteen. When my high school graduation started to come around the corner I notified my dad. Thinking that he would remember all the good stuff and put aside the negativity, from wherever it came from (I still don't know why he allowed the incident to occur or what I had done to offend my stepmother). I thought he would fly out here and be proud of me, I am his only child and my stepmother can not have children. No. He didn't respond to my first email. He responded to my second with 'I will not be attending'. No 'I apologize' no 'I'm sorry'. I didn't even receive a card from him.

    I've tried emailing him off and on. About my accomplishments or whatever was going on. No responses. I receive my American FFA Degree in October. Something that takes an average of five years to complete and is the highest honor in the National FFA Association.

    I will be lucky to get a congratulations and yet no matter what my dad is the one I cry for when I am saddest. He always will be.

    So yeah. That is my never let go story.
    [hugs Pandar tight]

    that is one of the saddest stories I've heard. What a terrible betrayal. All I can say is that your Dad has made a mistake - adults do. How you respond to this is your business of course, but just know that it is NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. Get on and live your life and never let this hold you back. Find other people to encourage you and to be proud of you. Hell, I'm proud of your achievement and I don't even know you.

    [goes away shaking her head and muttering]

  8. #38
    Senior Member Quiet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    5
    Posts
    321

    Default

    I end up staying too long because I just rack my brain trying to make it work...

  9. #39
    Banned
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    6w5
    Posts
    3,278

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Quiet View Post
    I end up staying too long because I just rack my brain trying to make it work...
    When you consider the investment you put into relationships, emotionaly, financialy and spiritually it is disheartening to face that they payoff will be a broken heart and a balance of zero or even a deficit.
    This is another reason to cling on or to rack your brain looking for solutions.
    I find it very difficult to just give up on someone, give up on the dreams and aspirations that were once shared.
    The idea that despite you best efforts, You cannot prevent what seems inevidble is crushing.
    I find those moments worse than facing the idea of death.

  10. #40
    Senior Member Quiet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    5
    Posts
    321

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by No Exit View Post
    When you consider the investment you put into relationships, emotionaly, financialy and spiritually it is disheartening to face that they payoff will be a broken heart and a balance of zero or even a deficit.
    This is another reason to cling on or to rack your brain looking for solutions.
    I find it very difficult to just give up on someone, give up on the dreams and aspirations that were once shared.
    The idea that despite you best efforts, You cannot prevent what seems inevidble is crushing.
    I find those moments worse than facing the idea of death.
    Well I always ask myself what did I do wrong. Relationships are complicated and emotionally investing, so it is natural to hold back to some degree until one is sure. I have let go of everything and just opened up before but trust was broken and I passed huge judgments but still remained with the person...

    I have my needs, and I always hope that my needs will be in synch and compatible with another's.

Similar Threads

  1. [NF] Okay, so there's funny and then there's NF funny. Let's hear yours!
    By Ene in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 11-23-2012, 05:42 PM
  2. [NF] NF and ADD
    By GZA in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 26
    Last Post: 02-06-2011, 06:46 AM
  3. [NF] So my NF brethren...lets talk about you...and other general stuff
    By FalseHeartDothKnow in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 04-20-2010, 03:58 AM
  4. [INFP] NFs and pride, conflict, attitude?
    By Cindyrella in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 32
    Last Post: 12-27-2008, 07:23 AM
  5. Replies: 29
    Last Post: 07-16-2007, 01:47 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO