User Tag List

First 12345 Last

Results 21 to 30 of 50

  1. #21
    Senior Member Kungpowish's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Enneagram
    two
    Socionics
    ESE
    Posts
    103

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by lane777 View Post
    Not low self esteem, just plain loyalty will keep me in a bad relationship.
    I know what you mean, I feel like leaving someone is a betrayal, not logically, just on a gut level.
    -There is nothing either good nor ill but thinking makes it so.

  2. #22
    Yup
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    MBTI
    Istj
    Posts
    1,517

    Default

    turn down the lights
    turn down the bed
    turn down these voices
    inside my head
    lay down with me
    tell me no lies
    just hold me close
    don't patronize
    don't patronize me

    chorus:
    i can't make you love me if you don't
    you can't make your heart feel
    somethin' it wont
    here in the dark,in these final hours
    i will lay down my heart
    and feel the power if you wont
    no you wont
    cuz i can't make you love me
    if you don't

    verse:
    i'll close my eyes
    then i wont see
    the love you dont feel
    when your holdin' me
    morning will come
    and i'll do whats right
    just give me till then
    to give up this fight
    and i will give up this fight

    (chorus)

    Raitt Bonnie

  3. #23
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    ISFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 sx
    Socionics
    SEE Fi
    Posts
    25,301

    Default

    I hate that song.

    Not a personal attack on you - but the lyrics of that song just make my skin crawl. It's so unpleasant.

  4. #24
    Charting a course
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    3,638

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by cherchair View Post
    Once I see potential in someone--even, maybe especially, if it's unrealizable--I'm hooked. I have to try to bring out what I see as a possibility in them. That, combined with loyalty, kept me in two bad marriages long after I should have left. You'd think I'd learn, and maybe I have, at least to a degree.
    The bolded, and only one was like that. The second one I think perhaps I was used to make her life easier, and when I was no longer useful. *BAM* dump me, and move on to the next sucker. All in less than a week.

    The longer I think about it, the more warning signs I recognize.

    I've learned all right. I've learned that relationships take work from both people, and if the other doesn't want to, run like hell, it's not worth the stress and heartache. Or the financial consequences.

  5. #25
    Member Phenix's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    40

    Default

    I never know when to leave and then I take much too long to do it. Sad to say, I have to feel that the other person must by ok with it in some way before I can drop the hammer. Working on this.

  6. #26
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    1

    Default

    I am needing to let go.. and it is so hard.... I was with someone for 5 years, had a baby.. he wasn't there.. didn't care... and then he had another baby with someone and named that baby after him... and the whole time blaming me..and then saying he loves me.. and I haven't done anything since we first broke up over a year and half ago..and he's done all this stuff and I feel bad if I would even talk to a guy... and I know I should let go... but I still feel that I love him.. but I don't want to let go..and then he is serious about being with me...

    How have others who had problems with letting go let go??

  7. #27
    Member Aimee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Posts
    30

    Default

    5 years and a kid is a lot of history to have with someone. I have successfully ended several relationships through the aid of having the person go see a therapist with me. A detached third party can do wonders to bring perspective and healing to a relationship. You have a child that binds you to him. A therapist can help you and he to clarify where your relationship is currently and where you would like it to go. This helps people to be on the same page. Another component of this process is laying out ground rules so that you are both clear about what is and isn't behavior that facilitates a future together. But sounds like you've got to get clearer about what you want this future to look like. I think this would help your man to be more considerate of your feelings (whether that means stepping up or down for your sake).

    A change of scenery can be good. Can you move or at least go out of town someplace else to get some perspective?

    Or join a group for single moms trying to get over their exes? You can probably find one on meetup.com. There's also support groups for single parents where you could meet men and women experiencing similar plights.

    Prozac helped me get over the nastiest breakup I've had. The most toxic relationship I've ever had was also the hardest to end. Everytime I started to get over it the guy kept coming back. Last time he did I told him there was nothing left for me to do but kill myself for him. I had given him everything and he knew how crushed I became with his on again/off again flights of fancy. I told him if he loved me and cared for me then to please keep his pecker in his pants around me, so to speak. Prozac helped me to gain the distance necessary to be able to envision a future where I could live without this person as a romantic partner in my life. The couple's therapist also helped to get him to fess up about his lack of clarity (and commitment) towards me), and for us to end it amicably, so that we were both able to move on.

    Hope this helps.
    -Aimee

    Best of luck.


    Quote Originally Posted by erthta View Post
    I am needing to let go.. and it is so hard.... I was with someone for 5 years, had a baby.. he wasn't there.. didn't care... and then he had another baby with someone and named that baby after him... and the whole time blaming me..and then saying he loves me.. and I haven't done anything since we first broke up over a year and half ago..and he's done all this stuff and I feel bad if I would even talk to a guy... and I know I should let go... but I still feel that I love him.. but I don't want to let go..and then he is serious about being with me...

    How have others who had problems with letting go let go??

  8. #28
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    291

    Default

    Easiest way to get over someone is to act as if you don't know them, as a complete stranger. They are back to square 1. As for your own emotions, you have to return to how your life was before you met them, obviously you've changed some but emotions can go back to a more lower level. This is how you leave rebound period.

  9. #29
    Senior Member pyramid's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    9w1
    Socionics
    IEE
    Posts
    102

    Default

    Letting go is one of the few things I'm good at: no matter how much I love something, I love everything so I will choose the healthy route over the unhealthy. I also respect others' decisions about what is best for them and try to come to a mutual conclusion that sees a positive light for both people.

    Luckily in romantic situations I have mostly been left in the dust vs of me dumping others-- so I'm pretty good at coping by now!!

  10. #30
    Senior Member Quiet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    5
    Posts
    321

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by erthta View Post
    I am needing to let go.. and it is so hard.... I was with someone for 5 years, had a baby.. he wasn't there.. didn't care... and then he had another baby with someone and named that baby after him... and the whole time blaming me..and then saying he loves me.. and I haven't done anything since we first broke up over a year and half ago..and he's done all this stuff and I feel bad if I would even talk to a guy... and I know I should let go... but I still feel that I love him.. but I don't want to let go..and then he is serious about being with me...

    How have others who had problems with letting go let go??
    It's really draining if you're the person with both feet in, and the other person is dipping their feet in and out. If you have a child together, it makes it even more difficult to deal with because of the represntation of what you both created. As an INFJ you need consistence, security, deep connection and matching commitment from your partner. It must be really hard for you I'm sure, especially with Fe, but it's crucial to make the best decision for yourself and your child. Emotions are hell to live with when they run so deep and painfully. Remember to take care of yourself first, especially when it feels impossible to do so. It's good that you're sharing it here, discussing it can often help. Good luck.

Similar Threads

  1. [NF] Okay, so there's funny and then there's NF funny. Let's hear yours!
    By Ene in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 11-23-2012, 05:42 PM
  2. [NF] NF and ADD
    By GZA in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 26
    Last Post: 02-06-2011, 06:46 AM
  3. [NF] So my NF brethren...lets talk about you...and other general stuff
    By FalseHeartDothKnow in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 04-20-2010, 03:58 AM
  4. [INFP] NFs and pride, conflict, attitude?
    By Cindyrella in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 32
    Last Post: 12-27-2008, 07:23 AM
  5. Replies: 29
    Last Post: 07-16-2007, 01:47 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO