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  1. #1
    Member BlownAway's Avatar
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    Default ENFP:s - do you go fishing...

    ...for compliments? And how do you stop it??

    Please help!!! This drives me crazy..

    At first, when I read about my type I agreed with everything except the part "ENFP:s are known to go fishing for compliments". And my friend said "Bah!! That's what you're doing constantly!". And...she's right..but I can't control myself.. All the time the hook is out there, hoping to get some appreciation, some compliments.. And the worst thing is, I just hate this behaviour in others..so why can't I stop it??

    All suggestions are welcome!
    Society, have mercy on me..don't be angry if I disagree

  2. #2
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    I do that too... I have an ENFP friend when we're together we just praise each other constantly. Its terribly annoying for others around us I'm sure...so i can't give any suggestions...

    you have a great avatar by the way, very pretty! all the people in sweden are beautiful!! your post is so articulate!.

    haha.

  3. #3
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Yes, unfortunately, we like being liked so much, this is part of what we do. For me, it happens mostly when I feel insecure about something and want to know that a) I'm on the right track, and the logic that I'm following is correct, b) I'm doing the right thing, c) people aren't cross with me.

    Either catch yourself in the act and bite your tongue, and I'm not saying I succeed at this, or learn to dress it in a way that people don't realize you're fishing
    Unfortunately, there are some smart people out there who will always recognize it

    Either way, you can work on it, sure, but don't beat yourself to a pulp over it, as it is a part of who you are.
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  4. #4
    Member BlownAway's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by shortnsweet View Post
    I do that too... I have an ENFP friend when we're together we just praise each other constantly. Its terribly annoying for others around us I'm sure...so i can't give any suggestions...

    you have a great avatar by the way, very pretty! all the people in sweden are beautiful!! your post is so articulate!.

    haha.
    Haha, thanks for the compliments !

    And of course..it's a part of the ENFP-nature.. So maybe I should try to forgive myself instead and accept it as a part of me..

    I have observed though that types with Te as dominant or secondary process, trigger this behaviour most. These encounters usually end up with me screaming "Is there ANYTHING good about me at all????!" Haha
    Society, have mercy on me..don't be angry if I disagree

  5. #5
    Senior Member Chris_in_Orbit's Avatar
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    Well...ENFPs are pretty awesome, why would you need someone to validate this for you?

  6. #6
    Senior Member The Third Rider's Avatar
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    Well the NF forum looks hijacked by ENFPs really so........
    ENFJ 3W4

    If you read this I am sorry to say that you just lost 5 seconds of your life that you wont be getting back.*

    *Actual time may vary.

  7. #7
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Third Rider View Post
    Well the NF forum looks hijacked by ENFPs really so........
    Feel free to do some hijacking of your own I think there are plenty of people dying to get to know your type better.


    As for the topic of this thread:

    I dunno about others here, but I haven't heard anything else in my youth but 'you should really learn to adapt', and 'maybe if you weren't so different', or 'do you have to so stubborn about everything, why can't you just be like others' from my direct environment. I know those people meant well, but that, paired with the need to be liked, wrecked havoc on my self-esteem. I'm still repairing the damage, and that requires validation

    And, seeing as I was always considered so weird and cooky, I realize that my perspectives on the world and my 'logic' (and I use the term loosely) aren't always so logical to others so I have a need to doublecheck that I'm understanding them or they are understanding me, and that they do not interpret my actions and words wrongly.

    Give me another method, and I'll gladly stop fishing for compliments
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  8. #8
    Senior Member Chris_in_Orbit's Avatar
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    If the compliments are helping then go for it... but are they really doing anything for you in the long run?

  9. #9
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    they help me reevalute how to approach things, sometimes
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  10. #10
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    i think it has something to do with just treating people the way you want to be treated...i think we see all these great qualities in other people and tell them about it...because we know that it feels good to be understood and appreciated...so when others don't do it...we think wow...they don't think we're as cool as we think they are...or something like that...but we need to remember that other people just see things differently

    i actually don't feel like i fish for compliments...but i think it's definitely one of the ways that makes me feel most loved...probably because my parents were so much that way??

    i don't know...but try not to take it personally when others don't it's just not everyone's style...doesn't mean you're not super cool...and beautiful...and perfect...and just so much fun to talk to
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

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