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  1. #11
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    That's a great way to see it, and it is also one of the reasons I'm here, to learn how other types see things
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  2. #12
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Fishing for compliments is not really my thing.

    It was my thing when I was a lot younger, (I would fish for compliments from adults/teachers).

    However, I do appreciate being appreciated, very much.
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  3. #13
    almost half a doctor phoenix13's Avatar
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    I used to... this is bizzare, but approx. 1.5 years ago I became fairly confident without compliments. It was spontaneous and I can't explain why.

    I think in part, a little compliment goes a looooooong way, so I don't need them very often.

  4. #14
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    Yeah I do that sometimes, but usually its just when I'm unsure of things, for example when i'm unsure of: my logic, my thought processes, my moral values, the way i'm treating someone, the way i'm going about something, how a person is reacting to me (what they think/feel about me)... etc. As Amargith said,
    I have a need to doublecheck that I'm understanding them or they are understanding me, and that they do not interpret my actions and words wrongly.
    So 'fishing' can help me ensure that we're on the same page and there's NO MISCOMMUNICATION (ugh i hate that).

    I do this 'fishing for compliments' thing (though thats not actually how i'd put it... i'd say more like, hinting for affirmation) to check if, as mentioned on this thread already, I'm "on the right track". If i'm doing something wrong, i want to know it so i can correct it. I don't really care if its a hurtful criticism or whatever, i just want to know so i can change things for the better.
    After all, being unemotional, rational and more focussed on the task at hand is actually very beneficial I've found. Especially when dealing with other Thinking types. Its not that they have something against you personally (most of the time anyway), its just that that's not how they function. Introverts too. I don't think they go round giving strokes to everyone, and just because i don't receive a verbal one from them doesn't mean I'm unappreciated or disliked.

    That said, I do enjoy being appreciated of course. I enjoy verbal affirmation, but that's probably cause i give it out so often. I think it has something to do with 'love languages'? You know, that 'gifts' or 'quality time' or 'helping deeds' or whatever that thing is?

    Anyway, I personally think verbal affirmation one of the easiest ways to show appreciation for someone. Though of course it can be argued the other way that "Words are cheap". But i think it takes some courage to step out and ACTUALLY SAY OUT LOUD that you appreciate something/someone.

    I try to avoid this 'fishing for compliments' thing though because it makes one WAAY too reliant on one's external environment.

  5. #15
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Hear hear!
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  6. #16

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    I third that. Affirmation is more the goal rather than compliments. We need it to have confidence in our thought process and also in the line of communication. And we feel good when we know we are on the right track.

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by noigmn View Post
    I third that. Affirmation is more the goal rather than compliments. We need it to have confidence in our thought process and also in the line of communication. And we feel good when we know we are on the right track.

    truth.com!

    On top of that, I think my issues with this goes a little deeper. I have never felt loved growing up and was neglected as a child. When my parents were around, I felt like a burden, punching bag, and a personal assistant to them. Sometimes I feel the need to get reassurance just to know that I'm "good enough". I really hate this about myself. I don't do it regularly and not with people I don't know, but I have this feeling of worthlessness often.
    Ombaaraminayasabaha
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  8. #18
    Member BlownAway's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by soleil View Post

    truth.com!

    On top of that, I think my issues with this goes a little deeper. I have never felt loved growing up and was neglected as a child. When my parents were around, I felt like a burden, punching bag, and a personal assistant to them. Sometimes I feel the need to get reassurance just to know that I'm "good enough". I really hate this about myself. I don't do it regularly and not with people I don't know, but I have this feeling of worthlessness often.
    I had issues like this with my parents when growing up too..never felt loved and was very different from my SJ-parents. They didn't understand me and I grew up "in my own world". As an adult I've felt the need to repair this, to get appreciation, compliments, reassurance from others.. I don't know, maybe this is not at all related to type, more to what has happened to you as a child? Some of you ENFP:s here seem very cool and "home" with yourselves. So maybe it's more related to childhood and if you felt loved as a child.

    I also have a feeling of worthlessness pretty often and I know compliments is just like temporary band-aids.. Well, well..can't change the past, only the future..
    Society, have mercy on me..don't be angry if I disagree

  9. #19
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    ^^^ that makes sense babe...and it kinda breaks my heart...i'm sorry you feel that way and i hope you find people/someone who can love on ya like that.

    i have always felt pretty self assure and i do think it's because my parents never criticized me and just made me feel like everything i did was amazing and perfect...but...in a way...it was an odd realization to grow up and find that just being you wasn't quite as impressive to other people...haha

    but i think i just hold a high opinion of everyone...including myself...and realize everyone has their own method of expressing themselves...so...i think that's the important bit...just knowing not to take it personal and try to own your own feelings...if that makes sense.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  10. #20
    Senior Member mlittrell's Avatar
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    i do from time to time
    "Honest differences are often a healthy sign of progress. "

    "You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty."

    "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind."

    Mahatma Gandhi

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