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  1. #31
    Senior Member Desperado44's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Third Rider View Post
    Used to ask myself why I only attracted people who had issues as well. I guess is that we can be too nurshuring and we just walk around trying to save poeple but in return we (or atleast on my case) never get anything back in return. Not that this is the only reason that you help people but after a while you wonder if its even worth it anymore or if you are going too far trying to help others. I personally have promised myself to not try to get as involved as I used to, sometimes me trying to help things have gotten me in messes that I should have never been in.
    In some sick way....I'm comforted in knowing I'm not the only ENFJ that falls into that rut. It SUCKS.....and in the last 5 years, I've traced my own issues to an underlying resentment that I give, and give, and give and save and give and save some more.....and get nothing in return.

    I would love to know HOW to break that cycle and not attract women who have no ability to give anything in return.
    I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. --- Maya Angelou

  2. #32
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    You guys need to talk to more INFP's. Vulnerable people might come to you, but we want to help them and are never approached because they think were as bad or worse off than them. We always consider the nuances of compassion and empathy. We like taking care of others more than ourselves and are usually not resentful. Our reward is seeing others feel better. I think Kiersey had it right in relationships that only the outer letters need to be different. INFP for ENFJ etc. Same values but different methods to reach common goals and balance out the other.

  3. #33
    Senior Member The Third Rider's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Desperado44 View Post
    In some sick way....I'm comforted in knowing I'm not the only ENFJ that falls into that rut. It SUCKS.....and in the last 5 years, I've traced my own issues to an underlying resentment that I give, and give, and give and save and give and save some more.....and get nothing in return.
    I know what you mean, its not that distorted to feel comforted (I would say relieved is the better word) that you are not the only one that has this issue. It just reemphasizes your mind that there is nothing wrong with you and it happens to other people as well so its "normal".
    I would love to know HOW to break that cycle and not attract women who have no ability to give anything in return.
    Well, I tried picking things up from different people. For example my mother is nurturing to a point and will listen to you and help you in which ever way posible, than after a while if you keep talking about your problems she will tell you to move on and if you keep going back she will get pissed off at you and tell you to pick your damn self up and move on (one time that is exactly what I needed to hear). Than there is my ENTJ, who has zero, border line negative empathy, if he doesn't care he will be a complete asshole about your issues. Example, his ex called him like 3 days ago and told him that one of her friends got killed, he said; "so? was he part of your family? If not than I don't care." and said that to him his netflix movies waiting at home were far more important to him than knowing about her friend's death (he dead serious about it too).LOL On the other hand if he slightly cares about you and your issue he will try to listen but will crack jokes and make you laugh instead of empathazing with you, which also helps because it changes your mood back to positive, but he doesn't allow people to leach on for emotional support.

    Quote Originally Posted by jtanSis1
    You guys need to talk to more INFP's. Vulnerable people might come to you, but we want to help them and are never approached because they think were as bad or worse off than them. We always consider the nuances of compassion and empathy. We like taking care of others more than ourselves and are usually not resentful. Our reward is seeing others feel better. I think Kiersey had it right in relationships that only the outer letters need to be different. INFP for ENFJ etc. Same values but different methods to reach common goals and balance out the other.
    Were can I find me a INFP?
    ENFJ 3W4

    If you read this I am sorry to say that you just lost 5 seconds of your life that you wont be getting back.*

    *Actual time may vary.

  4. #34
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    No one dares to take revenge against you. (except INFP since revenge doesn't work on us)

  5. #35
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
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    You know you're an ENFJ when...

    You take the MBTI and it tells you that you're an ENFJ.

  6. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatsWhatHeSaid View Post
    You know you're an ENFJ when...

    You take the MBTI and it tells you that you're an ENFJ.
    I scored ENFJ once. Does that make me ENFJ?

  7. #37
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    Are either a knight in shining armor or cinderella looking for your princess(damsel in distress) or prince charming. (hint: read INFP profile)

  8. #38

  9. #39
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatsWhatHeSaid View Post
    You know you're an ENFJ when...

    You take the MBTI and it tells you that you're an ENFJ.
    Edahn replies. Hilarity ensues.

    I wished for a kid on Jeopardy to go down in flames because he was smug and stole Dorothy Hamill's hair cut. Does that count toward my Devil/Angel quotient?

    I'm frequently designated a "safe" person when someone I know is emotionally maimed. It didn't let up a whole lot, even when I was just out of the hospital. For the first time, I truly had to go to bat for myself and tell people "no". It felt bad, but this was life or death. I had to consider my own survival.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  10. #40
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    ... when you hear 15 years later that your childhood enemy is on the registered sex offenders list and you announce "I KNEW that I had a reason for disliking him!"



    I love my sis, but she's a bit odd sometimes
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

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