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[NF] NFs and Charisma

Amargith

Hotel California
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Well, as an ENFP female I find I'm less confident with charming women than men, mostly. I dunno, put me in a group of 20 guys and I have a blast, and considering how sweet they are to me, I'd say they feel the same. Add one woman and I am instantly walking on eggshells coz more often than not they tend to be on my case for not being proper and 'considerate' and a teamplayer.

Since I spent most of my time in a group of 20 males between the ages of 17 and 20, I had a lot of practice with flirting, and its the sort of 'charming' I'm best at. I'd love to learn how to do this to women without sending out lesbian vibes *grin*
 

proteanmix

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Wow, did the ENFPs manage to turn a general NF thread into something about them? Amazing! -1 for charisma.
 

Amargith

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Lol, I'm sure it's unintentional, we're just chipping in. I cannot really comment on others charisma, simply because I don't know really yet how to type people, and not that many people I know are into this, so.. :)

I did find it interesting to see that ENFJ's are able to persuade you with words. Must be a hell of a benefit when you're running for office :)
 

Jim

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In some circumstances, it is possible that a charismatic person doesn't realise it, but for most charismatic people it should be as you pose the question, usually self evident, it would be a rare case to the contrary, i.e due to lack of relative external awareness/impact of one's actions. etc.

Ah thanks there. I guess it makes sense.
 

proteanmix

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Lol, I'm sure it's unintentional. I cannot really comment on others charisma, simply because I don't know really yet how to type people, and not that many people I know are into this, so.. :)

This is what I notice about NFs and charisma in real life. It's not all going to be positive:

ENFP: Extremely enthusiastic, easily get people on board with their ideas and initiatives. Follow through leaves much to be desired and people begin to falter and lose hope. And yes, here today gone tomorrow.

ENFJ: Very motivational, knows what to say, how to say it, feels like they're talking straight to your heart. That manipulation problem is very true because once you see you can move people in a certain direction it becomes hard not to do it for everyday basic stuff.

INFJ: Subtle is right. Natural perceptiveness draws people to them and they end up knowing a lot of secrets. Can be serpentine in moving people into situations that match their agenda.

INFP: Unparalleled commitment to an initiative they support. Will make a way when there seems to be none. Commitment can turn myopic and bullheaded. Will use their emotions against people as leverage.
 

Amargith

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Mmm...I recognize some people now. I once knew someone who could be blatantly lying to your face, yet he had a voice that just automatically made you believe him, even though you already knew from other people that what he was saying was complete BS. I still avoid him to this day, because I don't trust myself around him. Extremely charismatic :) ENFJ ?

From your description are INFP's who abuse their charisma the kind of people that guilt you into things then?

What about the manipulation of a conversation? I sometimes do that, but only to benefit the person because they need to vent or to pump them for information to plan surprise parties :) Is there a type that excels at that or is this something that all NF's do?
 
V

violaine

Guest
This is what I notice about NFs and charisma in real life. It's not all going to be positive:

ENFP: Extremely enthusiastic, easily get people on board with their ideas and initiatives. Follow through leaves much to be desired and people begin to falter and lose hope. And yes, here today gone tomorrow.

ENFJ: Very motivational, knows what to say, how to say it, feels like they're talking straight to your heart. That manipulation problem is very true because once you see you can move people in a certain direction it becomes hard not to do it for everyday basic stuff.

INFJ: Subtle is right. Natural perceptiveness draws people to them and they end up knowing a lot of secrets. Can be serpentine in moving people into situations that match their agenda.

INFP: Unparalleled commitment to an initiative they support. Will make a way when there seems to be none. Commitment can turn myopic and bullheaded. Will use their emotions against people as leverage.


^hehe, moral of the story: "NF, it gets in!"

I can only speak to INFJ 'charisma', as I've observed in my own life. I prefer relating deeply or personally with the people I'm interested in. I can do 'surface' but too much of that bores me. I think I'm warm but it's (supposedly) rarely apparent in a first meeting. I'm polite but reserved. I can't remember the amount of times someone has said "omg I thought you were a snob, but you're not!" :)laugh:... ouch). It takes either i. immediate connection/kindred spirit ii. one-on-one time or iii. contact over a period of time, for it to come through. Once I have 'broken through' it feels very genuine for both of us.

Very different from how I've observed things to be with my ENFP brother, he is undoubtedly charismatic (like crackling electricity when he's on, haha). He is interested in others but it's less directed - he has a lot more energy to share being that he's energized by others. He casts a wider net and his attention is more free flowing. Nothing wrong with that by the way, great morale builder! It's just that others sometimes get annoyed when they think he's all theirs and he isn't. What is annoying for him are the people who want to be constantly 'entertained' by him, ugh!
 

Wild horses

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Amargith, it's funny that you bring this up because I often give other women sexual vibes without even realising that I am doing it.. Maybe it's because I can appreciate and be enthusiastic about their sex appeal, looks etc without feeling threatened by them. I often find that people (both men and women) think I am flirting with them when I really am not.. I never use sexual banter really so maybe it's just the way I look at them or something.. sometimes I feel edgy about it because I don't want to get into difficult situations!
 

Moiety

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sometimes i like to prove people wrong about their own points by convincing them of a completely different point and then telling them that the point i just convinced them of was wrong lol. its a fun way to debate. .

I do that all the time actually :)
 

Amargith

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Amargith, it's funny that you bring this up because I often give other women sexual vibes without even realising that I am doing it.. Maybe it's because I can appreciate and be enthusiastic about their sex appeal, looks etc without feeling threatened by them. I often find that people (both men and women) think I am flirting with them when I really am not.. I never use sexual banter really so maybe it's just the way I look at them or something.. sometimes I feel edgy about it because I don't want to get into difficult situations!


Well, I've never been mistaken for hitting on another woman (except for this one time, when it was intentional, but that's a different story *grin*)

However, with other women who like to be a bit of a flirt, we can have a blast as well ganging up on the guys ;). I've had the other effect all too often though: being able to laugh and flirt with guys often gets you harsh remarks and backstabbing from other women, and a rep for being a slut (even if you are in a steady relationship and they know you are faithful).

I do admit that I love playing around with insinuations and sexual banter but I do it with a big smile on my face, so they always know I'm joking around. But it's not a requirement, just like with you, to leave that impression, I've noticed :)
 
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