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  1. #41
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Well, as an ENFP female I find I'm less confident with charming women than men, mostly. I dunno, put me in a group of 20 guys and I have a blast, and considering how sweet they are to me, I'd say they feel the same. Add one woman and I am instantly walking on eggshells coz more often than not they tend to be on my case for not being proper and 'considerate' and a teamplayer.

    Since I spent most of my time in a group of 20 males between the ages of 17 and 20, I had a lot of practice with flirting, and its the sort of 'charming' I'm best at. I'd love to learn how to do this to women without sending out lesbian vibes *grin*
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    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  2. #42
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Wow, did the ENFPs manage to turn a general NF thread into something about them? Amazing! -1 for charisma.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  3. #43
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Lol, I'm sure it's unintentional, we're just chipping in. I cannot really comment on others charisma, simply because I don't know really yet how to type people, and not that many people I know are into this, so..

    I did find it interesting to see that ENFJ's are able to persuade you with words. Must be a hell of a benefit when you're running for office
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  4. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by Siegfried View Post
    In some circumstances, it is possible that a charismatic person doesn't realise it, but for most charismatic people it should be as you pose the question, usually self evident, it would be a rare case to the contrary, i.e due to lack of relative external awareness/impact of one's actions. etc.
    Ah thanks there. I guess it makes sense.

  5. #45
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    Lol, I'm sure it's unintentional. I cannot really comment on others charisma, simply because I don't know really yet how to type people, and not that many people I know are into this, so..
    This is what I notice about NFs and charisma in real life. It's not all going to be positive:

    ENFP: Extremely enthusiastic, easily get people on board with their ideas and initiatives. Follow through leaves much to be desired and people begin to falter and lose hope. And yes, here today gone tomorrow.

    ENFJ: Very motivational, knows what to say, how to say it, feels like they're talking straight to your heart. That manipulation problem is very true because once you see you can move people in a certain direction it becomes hard not to do it for everyday basic stuff.

    INFJ: Subtle is right. Natural perceptiveness draws people to them and they end up knowing a lot of secrets. Can be serpentine in moving people into situations that match their agenda.

    INFP: Unparalleled commitment to an initiative they support. Will make a way when there seems to be none. Commitment can turn myopic and bullheaded. Will use their emotions against people as leverage.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  6. #46
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Mmm...I recognize some people now. I once knew someone who could be blatantly lying to your face, yet he had a voice that just automatically made you believe him, even though you already knew from other people that what he was saying was complete BS. I still avoid him to this day, because I don't trust myself around him. Extremely charismatic ENFJ ?

    From your description are INFP's who abuse their charisma the kind of people that guilt you into things then?

    What about the manipulation of a conversation? I sometimes do that, but only to benefit the person because they need to vent or to pump them for information to plan surprise parties Is there a type that excels at that or is this something that all NF's do?
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  7. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    This is what I notice about NFs and charisma in real life. It's not all going to be positive:

    ENFP: Extremely enthusiastic, easily get people on board with their ideas and initiatives. Follow through leaves much to be desired and people begin to falter and lose hope. And yes, here today gone tomorrow.

    ENFJ: Very motivational, knows what to say, how to say it, feels like they're talking straight to your heart. That manipulation problem is very true because once you see you can move people in a certain direction it becomes hard not to do it for everyday basic stuff.

    INFJ: Subtle is right. Natural perceptiveness draws people to them and they end up knowing a lot of secrets. Can be serpentine in moving people into situations that match their agenda.

    INFP: Unparalleled commitment to an initiative they support. Will make a way when there seems to be none. Commitment can turn myopic and bullheaded. Will use their emotions against people as leverage.

    ^hehe, moral of the story: "NF, it gets in!"

    I can only speak to INFJ 'charisma', as I've observed in my own life. I prefer relating deeply or personally with the people I'm interested in. I can do 'surface' but too much of that bores me. I think I'm warm but it's (supposedly) rarely apparent in a first meeting. I'm polite but reserved. I can't remember the amount of times someone has said "omg I thought you were a snob, but you're not!" (... ouch). It takes either i. immediate connection/kindred spirit ii. one-on-one time or iii. contact over a period of time, for it to come through. Once I have 'broken through' it feels very genuine for both of us.

    Very different from how I've observed things to be with my ENFP brother, he is undoubtedly charismatic (like crackling electricity when he's on, haha). He is interested in others but it's less directed - he has a lot more energy to share being that he's energized by others. He casts a wider net and his attention is more free flowing. Nothing wrong with that by the way, great morale builder! It's just that others sometimes get annoyed when they think he's all theirs and he isn't. What is annoying for him are the people who want to be constantly 'entertained' by him, ugh!

  8. #48
    Senior Member Wild horses's Avatar
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    Amargith, it's funny that you bring this up because I often give other women sexual vibes without even realising that I am doing it.. Maybe it's because I can appreciate and be enthusiastic about their sex appeal, looks etc without feeling threatened by them. I often find that people (both men and women) think I am flirting with them when I really am not.. I never use sexual banter really so maybe it's just the way I look at them or something.. sometimes I feel edgy about it because I don't want to get into difficult situations!

  9. #49
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mlittrell View Post
    sometimes i like to prove people wrong about their own points by convincing them of a completely different point and then telling them that the point i just convinced them of was wrong lol. its a fun way to debate. .
    I do that all the time actually

  10. #50
    Senior Member mlittrell's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    I do that all the time actually
    its an NF way to debate; its very diplomatic
    "Honest differences are often a healthy sign of progress. "

    "You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty."

    "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind."

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