That's alright. I anticipated this - kind of added a disclaimer saying that I'm not.. all that mentally stable or happy lately [Not to worry though, I'm on psychotropics] . Naive of me to expect everyone would relate.
As for the rejection of reason, upon further inspection was peripheral to me rather than essential to all ENFP types. Touche.
It comes from my dealings with philosophy. After debating a myriad of positions and meanings, I've landed on a rather bitter nihilism that mutates into extreme relativism and defends itself with critiques of rationality by french postmodern thinkers. Mea culpa on that one.
Realizing morality is pointless was a rather complicated process for me. (Really tried defending it - tooth and nail) It's as if Fi was butchered, Te is a tool that pops on occasion to impress those T-people (But I really mistrust it) and all I have is Ne ..aimlessly looking for patterns without any anchor or direction or meaning.
Still, thank you for the kind welcome