User Tag List

First 678910 Last

Results 71 to 80 of 111

  1. #71
    Senior Member LindseyLadybug's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    202

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by WieldingTheSword View Post
    Yet the real me, I find, is much deeper, complex, anxious, and cynical of people than I let on. I am only real to a few close friends who have been able to see past my fakeness and call me out on it.
    Quote Originally Posted by dee View Post
    I am not trying to be fake it's more trying to be nice or socially acceptable. And maybe I'm worried that the real, just plain old, say whatever you want to say "me", won't be liked. So therefore I simply can't be me in front of everyone, cause I'm scared of rejection.
    Some ENFJs I know were appealing to me at first because of their charisma and friendliness. But I've never gotten a chance to observe them being completely real and open. (Though I'm sure there are people in their lives that they are close to and completely open with.) I do what I can...proving myself trustworthy, sensing their needs and stepping out to help, trying to show my feelings/sensitivity more so they can feel safe doing the same, etc. As a result, I have caught glimpses of their true selves and I think it's beautiful. The depth, complexity, and yes even the cynicalness and anxiousness are what make you guys unique and special. To an extent, I can relate to these internal characteristics.

    I can tell when ENFJs are putting on a friendly face but suffering internally and it breaks my heart to watch. There are people who want to help and love you....but they can't if you're rarely ever being "you". Iím not saying the balance is easy to maintain because I know it's a very delicate balance, and I'm not saying that I have it all together and figured out because I don't. Iím just trying to offer some encouragement. You might be surprised by how many people would accept the real you if given the chance.

  2. #72
    Senior Member Nonsensical's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    4
    Posts
    4,010

    Default

    Hate to say it, but a few ENFJs that I know do this..there's this one, my dad's co worker who comes over on occasion, and she acts all mushy and lovey-dovey and treats me like a 5 year old, and they are always asking you if your "ok" and sometimes, it drives me nuts. but that's only a few of them I know. On the brightside, they do care, and can be there for you when you need it. I personally like ENFJs in general, despite a few things.
    Is it that by its indefiniteness it shadows forth the heartless voids and immensities of the universe, and thus stabs us from behind with the thought of annihilation, when beholding the white depths of the milky way?

  3. #73
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    MBTI
    eNFJ
    Enneagram
    4w3 sx/so
    Socionics
    eNFJ Ni
    Posts
    11,443

    Default

    That's the thing - I don't relate to that "she was all mushy, lovey-dovey" angle. I'm not that way at all. In fact, my sister has to run me down and hug me once she's thrown me to the floor. The other ENFJ I know isn't mushy either. We both care very deeply about "our people", but public displays? No. We can be stand-offish and rigid and not know it.

    I frequently feel as if I'm an INFJ being forced to live externally which can be excruciating.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  4. #74
    I am Sofa King!!! kendoiwan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    IsTP
    Posts
    1,334

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    *smears Kendo with peanut butter and feeds him to the chickadees*
    You're sposed to HIDE the crazy
    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...ml#post1161526

    "They the type of cats who pollute the whole shoreline. Have it purified. Sell it for a $1.25"

  5. #75
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Posts
    376

    Default

    Very accurate! That's what I mean when I say that I'm open but nobody really knows me. Meaning that I can tell all sorts of stuff but I'm not really tellling anything about me. I can tell everybody facts about my life but I'm not still revealing myself. I'm letting only very, very, very few people to see inside of me (and I don't mean physically inside of me, )

    Oh definitely. I couldn't agree more. It's funny because a friend of mine told me that I tend to talk around things without revealing any real personal information. Facts sure, but not too much more. Only to a select few.
    OmĖbaĖaraĖminayaĖsabaha
    4w5 sx/so/sp

  6. #76
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    2
    Posts
    79

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by LindseyLadybug View Post
    Some ENFJs I know were appealing to me at first because of their charisma and friendliness. But I've never gotten a chance to observe them being completely real and open. (Though I'm sure there are people in their lives that they are close to and completely open with.) I do what I can...proving myself trustworthy, sensing their needs and stepping out to help, trying to show my feelings/sensitivity more so they can feel safe doing the same, etc. As a result, I have caught glimpses of their true selves and I think it's beautiful. The depth, complexity, and yes even the cynicalness and anxiousness are what make you guys unique and special. To an extent, I can relate to these internal characteristics.

    I can tell when ENFJs are putting on a friendly face but suffering internally and it breaks my heart to watch. There are people who want to help and love you....but they can't if you're rarely ever being "you". Iím not saying the balance is easy to maintain because I know it's a very delicate balance, and I'm not saying that I have it all together and figured out because I don't. Iím just trying to offer some encouragement. You might be surprised by how many people would accept the real you if given the chance.
    This was all very sweet, Lindsey .

  7. #77
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    2
    Posts
    79

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by soleil View Post
    Very accurate! That's what I mean when I say that I'm open but nobody really knows me. Meaning that I can tell all sorts of stuff but I'm not really tellling anything about me. I can tell everybody facts about my life but I'm not still revealing myself. I'm letting only very, very, very few people to see inside of me (and I don't mean physically inside of me, )

    Oh definitely. I couldn't agree more. It's funny because a friend of mine told me that I tend to talk around things without revealing any real personal information. Facts sure, but not too much more. Only to a select few.
    YES YES YES, THIS IS IT EXACTLY! LOL. Every person pondering the ENFJ must read this. It will all make sense then!

  8. #78
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    2,967

    Default

    So I'm wondering how it feels to be an ENFJ who feels a lot of responsibility to make others feel comfortable. Is it sometimes so much of a burden that one has to constantly look on top of things?
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  9. #79
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    2
    Posts
    79

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Anja View Post
    So I'm wondering how it feels to be an ENFJ who feels a lot of responsibility to make others feel comfortable. Is it sometimes so much of a burden that one has to constantly look on top of things?
    Yes. You constantly have it in your mind how everyone feels/is going to feel/felt about the situation and what you can do to make it all ideal. I guess I see it as a burden, but at the same time it is very much who I am so I am used to it. If it is truly taxing, I no longer even notice.

  10. #80
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    2,967

    Default

    I was thinking more about "fakeness." A lack of authenticity doesn't have to mean manipulation or hidden agendas.

    Sometimes it's a manifestation of a person's own confusion about who they are, what they need and therefor how they want to present themselves to the world. And, as so many uncomfortable feelings people project, they are contageous.

    In a sense, we become uncomfortable around someone who isn't completely in touch with what their feelings are or what they want at the moment, because we become unsure of how to respond to what we see as unauthentic.
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

Similar Threads

  1. [ENFJ] The ENFJ "busy body"
    By INTJ123 in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 03-03-2011, 09:43 PM
  2. [ENFJ] What advice would you like to give the ENFJ in YOUR life? (or in your past)
    By Afkan in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 84
    Last Post: 08-08-2009, 03:03 PM
  3. [ENFJ] The ENFJ shadow...
    By Kalach in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 77
    Last Post: 02-07-2009, 05:50 PM
  4. [ENFJ] Where are the ENFJs hiding?
    By raz in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 24
    Last Post: 11-26-2008, 06:53 PM
  5. [ENFJ] The ENFJ's Balancing Act
    By Brendan in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 11-14-2008, 04:24 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO