[ENFP] ENFPs accidentally offending people?

[Twixt]

Does anyone notice if ENFPs sometimes accidentally offend other people by mouthing off too quickly without thinking through their words properly?

I'm not sure if its just me or its a general ENFP trait.. Lol its probably just me, but I'm just curious to see if other people happen to experience this as well.

Sometimes I talk quite fast and then I realize I might have said something potentially offensive. (maybe I'm more of an ENTP in this manner? I ask quite a lot of questions and possibly offend people by asking about their beliefs/thoughts.. my questions could be taken as challenging other people's beliefs when I'm trying to understand their stand/point of view more thoroughly?)

[if that sounds too convoluted I apologise!! :hi: ]

 

[calfienotion]

One ENFP guy I know is quite blunt with people. He asks lots of questions and afterwards wonders if he might have offended someone. He also enjoys playing devil's advocate, but only to understand the situation more thoroughly. I think that's great!

 

[Jae Rae]

I haven't noticed this with ENFPs, but speak first, think later is characteristic of an ESFP friend of mine.

 

[Anja]

As an INFP who operates in the extroverted social realm, I know that it's important for me to think before I speak. I do this with varying degrees of success depending on how enthusiastic I feel about a subject and with whom I'm speaking.

 

[GZA]

I know ENFP's who do this. One specifically tends to make big assumptions about what you are thinking or what you are about to say, and then does a big rant reacting to what she thinks you are saying. She has tried putting words in my mouth on several occasions, followed by a semi-stuck up "well guess what, you're wrong!" type mouthing off speach. She is completely wrong about what I was going to say or what I was thinking every time, so I just say "No." and walk away laughing.

It's not that she doesn't think through things, it's that she talks and thinks before she has gathered all, or sometimes even any information. It's kind of frustrating, she is one of the people I talk to on a daily basis (we have classes together) we're we completely misunderstand eachother constantly

 

[mlittrell]

One ENFP guy I know is quite blunt with people. He asks lots of questions and afterwards wonders if he might have offended someone. He also enjoys playing devil's advocate, but only to understand the situation more thoroughly. I think that's great!

i do this on a continual basis. ive recently learned to tone down my ENFPness so that i dont piss people off.

 

[Lady_X]

i occasionally...or a lot...haha...say embarrassingly inappropriate things but i typically don't offend people that i don't intend to...but if you know me well...and you're being a jerk...i will tell you without a second thought...actually...even if i don't know you and you're being a jerk to someone else
but...it's more of a blunt observation then an actual judgment
and i'm usually pretty aware of how i'm being perceived so...i can tone it down...i'm almost always just kidding or being silly anyway

 

[Sniffles]

I've notice the tendency for ENFPs to complain about the fact that they accidentally offend people.

Truth be told, I'm rarely offended by what ENFPs say. I find it funny when they're constantly apologising to me for supposedly offending me, when in fact they did no such thing.

The closest I've seen is when some ENFPs actually attempt to be offensive, and yet just end up being nagging irritations. Of course I would only count two ENFPs I've met in this category.

As for the vast majority of other ENFPs, I just find it hard to be offended by you guys. I can't explain it really, it's just the nature of your type.

 

[Simplexity]

I know ENFP's who do this. One specifically tends to make big assumptions about what you are thinking or what you are about to say, and then does a big rant reacting to what she thinks you are saying. She has tried putting words in my mouth on several occasions, followed by a semi-stuck up "well guess what, you're wrong!" type mouthing off speach. She is completely wrong about what I was going to say or what I was thinking every time, so I just say "No." and walk away laughing.

It's not that she doesn't think through things, it's that she talks and thinks before she has gathered all, or sometimes even any information. It's kind of frustrating, she is one of the people I talk to on a daily basis (we have classes together) we're we completely misunderstand eachother constantly

Wow that's funny I think I've encountered an ENFP just like that. Does she hind behind emotional walls all the time and proclaim you're an asshole if she doesn't like you?

I thought It was just my NTness that was the cause of disagreement but apparently not...

 

[Lady_X]

^^^ haha...that's probably true...i think i'm always afraid of offending people...what is that!!?? weird...haha

 

[placebo]

Sometimes they might say too much and can be overbearing without realising it I think, which is the worst part (when they don't realise it).

 

[RiderOnTheStorm]

I used to do this a lot. I have mellowed out for the most part over the years. Whatever I said was what was on my mind at the time. It is part of who I am. Love it, or GTFO!

 

[SillySapienne]

Does anyone notice if ENFPs sometimes accidentally offend other people by mouthing off too quickly without thinking through their words properly?

I'm not sure if its just me or its a general ENFP trait.. Lol its probably just me, but I'm just curious to see if other people happen to experience this as well.

Sometimes I talk quite fast and then I realize I might have said something potentially offensive. (maybe I'm more of an ENTP in this manner? I ask quite a lot of questions and possibly offend people by asking about their beliefs/thoughts.. my questions could be taken as challenging other people's beliefs when I'm trying to understand their stand/point of view more thoroughly?)

[if that sounds too convoluted I apologise!! :hi: ]

If I ever offend people in conversation, I wouldn't know it because people tend to respond to me relatively well, i.e. smiling, laughing, answering and asking questions.

Something that I realize about myself, though I think I do this at the semi-subconscious level is that I tend to test the waters with people, to feel them out, probably so as to not say anything too offensive. I think that everyone has a comfort level in conversation and I attempt to calibrate myself accordingly.

I do think I can at times offend my family members and close friends when giving brutally honest advice, however.

 

[RiderOnTheStorm]

If I ever offend people in conversation, I wouldn't know it because people tend to respond to me relatively well, i.e. smiling, laughing, answering and asking questions.

Something that I realize about myself, though I think I do this at the semi-subconscious level is that I tend to test the waters with people, to feel them out, probably so as to not say anything too offensive. I think that everyone has a comfort level in conversation and I attempt to calibrate myself accordingly.

I do think I can at times offend my family members and close friends when giving brutally honest advice, however.

Well said chica! ^^

 

[Ghost of the dead horse]

Does anyone notice if ENFPs sometimes accidentally offend other people by mouthing off too quickly without thinking through their words properly?

Yes and no.

I don't need "criticism made nice" kind of careful selection of words, but rather "criticism being reasonable". It gives a nice impression though if the fitting mood is expressed along with the arguments.

Contempt for someone expressing a reasonable view?

Ridicule for someone arguing about worthwhile issues?

ENFP don't often seem to consider their contributions as a logical sequence of arguments, but rather an inspired experiment. I strongly dislike their "disturbance is good" ideology. Points can be debated in a respectful, precise manner. Evoking someone's anger, fear, love, etc in a random fashion seems just about as precise as an earthquake.

 

[SillySapienne]

Yes and no.

I don't need "criticism made nice" kind of careful selection of words, but rather "criticism being reasonable". It gives a nice impression though if the fitting mood is expressed along with the arguments.

Contempt for someone expressing a reasonable view?

Ridicule for someone arguing about worthwhile issues?

ENFP don't often seem to consider their contributions as a logical sequence of arguments, but rather an inspired experiment. I strongly dislike their "disturbance is good" ideology. Points can be debated in a respectful, precise manner. Evoking someone's anger, fear, love, etc in a random fashion seems just about as precise as an earthquake.

lolwut?

Do you honestly think that all ENFPs are like this?

In fact, what you describe seems very contrary to the standard ENFP style.

 

[Ghost of the dead horse]

lolwut?

Do you honestly think that all ENFPs are like this?

Surely not. I've no experiment of that in RL; they seem easy people to get along with, and not provocative at all. Still, I think what I wrote of perhaps half the ENFP in here at the moment. Or, their style at times. INTP, ENTP, ENTJ behave similarly in my opinion, so it's nothing very specific to that type. Perhaps an interaction style or something like that? I don't know how to categorize such.

In fact, what you describe seems very contrary to the standard ENFP style.

I guess it comes and goes. I was at a moment part of some uncoordinated "ENTP pride" movement on this forum a while ago, but I felt strange for knowing there was too many ENTP-serving threads going around.

I guess it's a fad for ENFP now; be critical, question everything, be courageous and "raise the issues". Just a big fat meh for me, tho I do get a bit sad at times for all the provocative behavior. Gets me a bit tense, too.

 

[SillySapienne]

Surely not. I've no experiment of that in RL; they seem easy people to get along with, and not provocative at all.

K, that cleared that up.

I guess it's a fad for ENFP now; be critical, question everything, be courageous and "raise the issues". Just a big fat meh for me, tho I do get a bit sad at times for all the provocative behavior. Gets me a bit tense, too.

A.) ENFPs don't do fads.

B.) Being critical, questioning everything, and being courageous and "raising the issues", so to speak, are salient to and indicative of the ENFP personality type. That's just how we roll, homie.

 

[kyuuei]

I'm right there with Peguy on this one... I have a tendency to Overly worry about offending people. I often find myself attempting to censor myself in a way where I will get my point across without the blunt harsh words that might offend people if it's at all avoidable. Not to say I don't ever THINK those harsh things, or that in the heat of a moment I won't say exactly what's on my mind.. but I'd rather not be brash if at all possible.

...Though, I do know one ENFP that's quite confrontational..

 

[Clownmaster]

Does anyone notice if ENFPs sometimes accidentally offend other people by mouthing off too quickly without thinking through their words properly?

I do this very seldom, but add alcohol to the equation and I consider my words less carefully. It normally isn't a problem though.

btw, when did we get a jewvatar