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  1. #21
    Don't Judge Me! Haphazard's Avatar
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    What, is the ENTP offended?

    Let me put it this way.

    I've seen an extreme number of P types and even TJs who can't 'get' Fe. For what it looks like to them, you look no further than the beginning of The Shining and for how it sounds to other, just pick up The Catcher in the Rye.

    This is not necessarily the case. The description of sounding like an 'emotional compromise' makes it even worse. As to their actual sincerity, you have to silence your knee-jerk reaction and have to look at the person himself. Often, they are quite sincere individuals -- however, they are only human, and may use the function for gains, as would anybody using any other of their main functions.
    -Carefully taking sips from the Fire Hose of Knowledge

  2. #22
    no clinkz 'til brooklyn Nocapszy's Avatar
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    Are you...
    I can't believe you asked that.
    Surely that must be a joke of a question, though I'm not sure where the humor comes in.

    I'm furious at the ridiculous bullshit being passed around as Type knowledge.
    CC's ridiculous thread, the "let's rethink J/P" and pretty much every other type thread that's come along... ever.

    Read a damned book, then you'll know whether "INTP is more likely to spend 15 hrs in front of the computer than ESFP?" or not.
    we fukin won boys

  3. #23
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Nocapszy, why don't you just chill. Is the carnage in the Fi thread not enough to keep you occupied?
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  4. #24
    Senior Member mlittrell's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    Nocapszy, why don't you just chill. Is the carnage in the Fi thread not enough to keep you occupied?
    the man makes some good points he just goes about saying it the wrong way.
    "Honest differences are often a healthy sign of progress. "

    "You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty."

    "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind."

    Mahatma Gandhi

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  5. #25
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mlittrell View Post
    the man makes some good points he just goes about saying it the wrong way.
    Thanks mlittrell. You just gave me the fodder to perfectly illustrate my Fe.

    I'm going to pick on Nocapszy and a new member Edgar.

    Let's address Nocapszy first. I've met the guy and I actually do like him. I thought he was cute. But his immensely pinchable cheeks aside, he most certainly has problems with delivery which then makes his cheeks more punchable than pinchable. Now as mllitrell correctly pointed out, I thought about the truth of his statements as well and agreed with him on that aspect. But what trumped it for me is Nocapszy's history of delivery problems. I guess that's my Fe kicking in. The venom embedded in his posting style is something that I can't shake and neither do other forum members. He can wants to say in a way doesn't get people's hackles up.

    Culture and atmosphere moves at different levels and I'll change my behavior depending on where I'm at. I suppose this is where the accusations of Fe being fake comes in because someone might know me in one context, meet me in another and I seem like a different person. Perfect example of that is when I go out with coworker who's never been out with me before. At work I'm all about being professional and maintaining a professional appearance. But when I'm not at work I don't have to do that so I'll chill out measurably. So it'll come as a surprise to people that only know me in a work context to suddenly go to happy hour with me and see me throw down 4 shots of tequila, want to start dancing with everyone who passes by me and see how nasty my mouth gets. I'm pretty assiduous about keeping my nose clean, or you could say appearances, but at this point I really don't care. I don't view the change in my personality as fake, but I'm sure some people will. Can't please everyone! But that's just an aside, so I'll continue with my point.

    So here's my Fe working right now. I'm all about making MBTIc as comfortable for as many people as possible. Once again I know you cant please them all, so my means of doing that is by finding an average, or a common denominator (hopefully not the lowest one!). It's like keeping the thermostat set at 75. Some people will find that too cold and other too hot, but most people find it a comfortable temperature. Now if you want to see my Fe in action right now let's look at a member that's caught my eye most recently.

    So I'll be reading the forum, my way of checking that the temperature is still comfortable for most people and I'll be looking for spikes or drops, hot zones or cool zones. I notice this guy Edgar. I notice that three times he's referred to women as bitches. I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt, but he's definitely on my radar. I don't know of this is my Fe or not, but I'm just going to say it is. Why am I giving him the benefit of the doubt?

    1. He's a new member
    2. This may be his style of joking
    3. Even though it may upset me a bit that he's called women bitches three times other people seemed not to have commented or be upset about it so I'll stay cool, for now. I bolded for now, because contrary to popular opinion I have no problem disturbing the peace. I hate false peace and that tend to happen when people are being inhibited from speaking their mind. That is not something I'm in favor of. Additionally, my Fe sometimes leads me to believe that just because I feel something, someone else feels it as well. False and overindification is problem that FJs have. This is one thing I'm grateful for the FPs on the forum about, letting people own their own feelings and I need to take ownership of my own. I can't assume people feel the same as I do.


    Still, I don't trust my blip, probably because I tend not to trust my introverted judgment. So even though I feel something isn't right within me, I'll look for confirmation from other people that what I'm noticing isn't just my own feelings (low introverted judgment) but something that other people feel as well. So far, no one has said anything but I'm still searching for clues to confirm my feelings. So I'll check out who he's friends with and his visitor messages, or anything to see if there's anything there to prove or disprove my feelings. This is information that's going into a file cabinet in my mind. It may or may not be used, but it's there.

    This also works in a positive way. If I find out one of my coworkers likes airplanes I'll store it away and pull it out when it needs to. So when Christmas rolls around this year and we exchange gifts at work I'll get him something that's related to his interests. I talk to people and find out what they value, what they care about, what interests them because it's something that helps me feel connected to them and hopefully that feeling is reciprocated. If it seems like the person doesn't want to reciprocate I leave them alone. No one likes a meddlesome person, myself included.

    So I guess this is my Fe at work. It's not "don't forget to say thank you or please or compliment someone." It's not these hard rules that I dare not deviate from. I'm actively searching for information about people and I put that information to use. Each FJ has a different tolerance for disharmony. Some can't handle people disagreeing with each other even if it's done respectfully. Some FJs feel disharmony is reached when people start throwing chairs at each other and then they'll get involved. I can handle a fair amount of disharmony but I won't let it disintegrate into total chaos. And I feel confident enough in my Fe abilities that I can keep it from reaching that point. If I feel that the disharmony is temporary and will lead to greater peace as the end product I'll probably be an instigator myself. And I try to funnel my subconscious desire for chaos out by watching ultraviolent movies and UFC events.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  6. #26
    Senior Member mlittrell's Avatar
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    well stated ^

    a good insight on Fe at work from someone who actually uses Fe.
    "Honest differences are often a healthy sign of progress. "

    "You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty."

    "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind."

    Mahatma Gandhi

    Enneagram: 9w1

  7. #27
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    ^^^ i completely relate to that as well
    i also very much like peace but i will often be the first to speak up for someone else if i feel it needs to be done
    and am good about extracting the positive truth or intention from words even if it's wrapped up in an offensive style...i don't know if that makes any sense...but yeah...i relate to that totally

  8. #28
    Nerd King Usurper Edgar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post

    So I'll be reading the forum, my way of checking that the temperature is still comfortable for most people and I'll be looking for spikes or drops, hot zones or cool zones. I notice this guy Edgar. I notice that three times he's referred to women as bitches. I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt, but he's definitely on my radar. I don't know of this is my Fe or not, but I'm just going to say it is. Why am I giving him the benefit of the doubt?

    1. He's a new member
    2. This may be his style of joking
    3. Even though it may upset me a bit that he's called women bitches three times other people seemed not to have commented or be upset about it so I'll stay cool, for now. I bolded for now, because contrary to popular opinion I have no problem disturbing the peace. I hate false peace and that tend to happen when people are being inhibited from speaking their mind. That is not something I'm in favor of. Additionally, my Fe sometimes leads me to believe that just because I feel something, someone else feels it as well. False and overindification is problem that FJs have. This is one thing I'm grateful for the FPs on the forum about, letting people own their own feelings and I need to take ownership of my own. I can't assume people feel the same as I do.
    Hi Proteanmix, somebody brought this thread to my attention.

    I actually already addressed the issue that you have brought up in a different thread:

    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...t-habit-2.html

    Hope that helps.

  9. #29
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    I don't find Fe anymore fake than other flogged-to-death functions. Sure, dominant Fe users can be real wheeler-dealer used-car-salesman types of people, but the function itself doesn't really deserve to be castigated. I'm only remotely aware that I'm using Fe because it's always working, always running. I feel my Ni anchors it pretty well, but I also have to maintain a level of self-awareness that at least indicates to me, during moments of wrack and brimstone, that I'm drowning the world and need to find a way to reach equilibrium.

    Fe can't help but announce itself.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
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    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  10. #30
    Wild Card Atomic Fiend's Avatar
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    My Fe isn't fake, if anything it it's the most honest part of me. I have fallen into the habit of spilling the beans on many different aspects about myself that people really don't need to know.

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