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  1. #1
    Junior Member Jess's Avatar
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    Red face Must NF's be right?

    I have an INFJ boyfriend. I find he feels he must always be right. If I disagree with him, particularly in a fight, I will often want to drop it and go back to our happy predisposition, he will want to fight it out until one of us agrees.

    In fact, he tends to get me agree with him. He pushes quite strongly. I am the one who constantly must tell him, "I am not in this to be right but to instead come to the best/correct conclusion and I'm willing to change if you convince me, and would like you to be able to, so we can end this." Because sometimes, it can feel to me like its become a contest of who is right...

    To me, he is far more stubborn, especially when he feels wronged. Yet you all feel us NT's must be right all the time!

    And all of my NF friends are the same too! They all get so upset if they feel someone wronged them, and they push it until you agree with them! Whereas, I'll let it go!

    Its not necessarily a bad thing, there are definite advantages to it, but I am surprised that you so strongly feel we come off as arrogantly-we-must-be-right when I find my NF friends are often the ones who must be right.

    So tell me: Is it just my strange personal experiences, or must you all be right?
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  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jess View Post
    I have an INFJ boyfriend. I find he feels he must always be right. If I disagree with him, particularly in a fight, I will often want to drop it and go back to our happy predisposition, he will want to fight it out until one of us agrees.

    In fact, he tends to get me agree with him. He pushes quite strongly. I am the one who constantly must tell him, "I am not in this to be right but to instead come to the best/correct conclusion and I'm willing to change if you convince me, and would like you to be able to, so we can end this." Because sometimes, it can feel to me like its become a contest of who is right...

    To me, he is far more stubborn, especially when he feels wronged. Yet you all feel us NT's must be right all the time!

    And all of my NF friends are the same too! They all get so upset if they feel someone wronged them, and they push it until you agree with them! Whereas, I'll let it go!

    Its not necessarily a bad thing, there are definite advantages to it, but I am surprised that you so strongly feel we come off as arrogantly-we-must-be-right when I find my NF friends are often the ones who must be right.
    Seems like you are an NF and he's an NT

  3. #3
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    well honestly...i never understood the argument...i can't comprehend why someone would be fighting if they did not think they were right? what are they trying to prove then?

    because to me....everything else is just discussion...you have your unsure views and i have mine and we discus them...then... you fight because you feel so strongly that you're right...i don't know about anyone else but...i so rarely make my mind up completely about anything... that when i do ...i mean it...and i intend to convince you of it too....haha

    but i'm aware that...that thought process probably needs tweaking...haha

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jess View Post
    I have an INFJ boyfriend. I find he feels he must always be right. If I disagree with him, particularly in a fight, I will often want to drop it and go back to our happy predisposition, he will want to fight it out until one of us agrees.
    Your BF's need to be right - NT

    You wanting to drop it and maintain harmony - NF


    This is a common/typical thing in NT/NF relationships. You might want to take a closer look at both your typings.

  5. #5
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
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    ^ makes sense

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jess View Post
    If I disagree with him, particularly in a fight, I will often want to drop it and go back to our happy predisposition, he will want to fight it out until one of us agrees.
    Are you sure you're really INTJ?

  7. #7
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jess View Post
    I have an INFJ boyfriend. I find he feels he must always be right. If I disagree with him, particularly in a fight, I will often want to drop it and go back to our happy predisposition, he will want to fight it out until one of us agrees.

    In fact, he tends to get me agree with him. He pushes quite strongly. I am the one who constantly must tell him, "I am not in this to be right but to instead come to the best/correct conclusion and I'm willing to change if you convince me, and would like you to be able to, so we can end this." Because sometimes, it can feel to me like its become a contest of who is right...

    To me, he is far more stubborn, especially when he feels wronged. Yet you all feel us NT's must be right all the time!

    And all of my NF friends are the same too! They all get so upset if they feel someone wronged them, and they push it until you agree with them! Whereas, I'll let it go!

    Its not necessarily a bad thing, there are definite advantages to it, but I am surprised that you so strongly feel we come off as arrogantly-we-must-be-right when I find my NF friends are often the ones who must be right.

    So tell me: Is it just my strange personal experiences, or must you all be right?
    Sounds like you know how to pick 'em!

    Looking forward to more of your illuminating insights.~

  8. #8
    Senior Member blanclait's Avatar
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    i think its just this case. i too like you tend to seek harmony and peace. I only approach discussion when both party is improvising. -> win-win situation.
    i don't really enjoy arguments to find who is right or wrong. Its just exhausting

    Perhaps your boyfriend is suffering from some sort of complex?or does he speak of something personal. He may be trying to prove you wrong due to the fact it doesnt correspond with his beliefs.

  9. #9
    Junior Member Jess's Avatar
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    My boyfriend is definitely an INFJ. There is no question. He does have NT aspects though. This is perhaps that one.

    I am definitely an INTJ. I just hate fighting. Its so useless and its usually over such pitiful things! why be mad at someone? Don't worry, be happy! Over many things I worry but I have a terrible memory so forget my grievances pretty quickly.

    But no he's definitely INFJ.

    I suppose my other friends don't fight it out like he does, but they don't drop it. Its always underlining and there is tension/friction in the relationship because they are obviously unhappy. I am so happy to drop it. They nurse it and hold onto it, and they don't back down. Perhaps for good reasons, but they still won't back down.

    After hours of arguing around in circles, it grows weary for me

    He has the 6th sense of being able to know what is going on with anyone that a lot of INFJ's seem to have. Reads people like a book. He is extremely emotional, far too emotional to be an INTJ. He is the emotional one, I am the reclusive one for sure.
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  10. #10
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    Cool

    Hmm, i'm more like an NT in this situation.

    I'm very stubborn about what i'm arguing about and usually not willing to concede the point since if i'm arguing something is telling me either i'm right, or there is a point to be made.

    I also like to debate unless it becomes an argument (personal). It's another way of reaching the truth.

    I'm pretty sure i'm NF, but not completely. I've also thought I was a NT in the past and tested as INTP on the official MBTI. To be fair I could have tested however I wanted at the time since I know how the test works.

    Anyway, something to take into consideration.

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