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  1. #11
    Senior Member animenagai's Avatar
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    i think i used to play this role more back when i was more quiet. hey, i was a good listener. now, i sorta just spill my own stuff out willingly, and sometimes this comforts others and lets them open up. i'm still an emotional go-to-guy, just less so.

  2. #12
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cascademn View Post
    I can somewhat relate to this topic, as a few times in the past I tended to get involved with men who were emotionally unavailable, but ones who wanted to be...comforted/cared for. So I helped to heal and comfort them, so they'd be in tiptop shape for the next woman who they *really* wanted to be in a relationship with. :rolli: I've learned to not play that role anymore.
    You gotta be positive about it - you get to satisfy your urges and do a good deed at the end of the day. You've helped make a better world, and you've learned a little more about relationships in the process


    I never served as a listener to a woman in all my life, in part because I don't have that many lady friends and in part because I like to subtly instill the notion that, I'm tough guy and nothing in life gets to me, when I'm around them. I don't get that many girls so maybe that says something about the whole thing (being a listener).

  3. #13
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    Ah the dreaded friend zone. "Oh, thanks for being a friend for me but now I don't see you in a romantic way." Then they go off, and come back when something new is wrong or we become the standby person they will be interested in when noone else is then leave again when all's well. Just because I treat you like a friend doesn't mean I don't want you to take me seriously. We might be good at counseling but understand why we might be helping you. We're not your private therapist for free for no reason. Sorry if that's harsh but I like to help but I like to know that I'm appreciated for it.

  4. #14
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jtanSis1 View Post
    We're not your private therapist for free for no reason. Sorry if that's harsh but I like to help but I like to know that I'm appreciated for it.
    +1

    Mind you according to the advice of this poster : "judgemental post" that's about all we are good for.
    Echo - "So are you trying to say she is Evil"

    DeWitt - "Something far worse, she's an Idealist"

    Berb's Johari Berb's Nohari

  5. #15
    Senior Member mlittrell's Avatar
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    like everyone is saying, she is probably drawn to the Fe. she might also be drawn to (if your the traditional ENFJ) your charisma and social smoothness. i know a lot of very charismatic ENFJs that interest a lot of women just on that trait.
    "Honest differences are often a healthy sign of progress. "

    "You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty."

    "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind."

    Mahatma Gandhi

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  6. #16
    Senior Member The Third Rider's Avatar
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    It seems like people always came to me when they had emotional issues, but I am personally sick of that role. I had a friend (a girl) that I had known for several years and we used to talk a lot and hang out. Than she started to have A LOT of issues and she practically called me just about every day to get emotinal support from me, which I provided for her and I tried my best to help her out. This went of for like a year and I even ended up getting into some arguments trying to defend her ass. So after a ton of crying, bitching, sobbing and me being there to help her out with anything and everything I could she moved on to college away from all her issues. So, as all her issues went away she completely ignored me, she never called me or contacted me in any away until a year later when she called. Wouldn't you know it, she only called me because she needed a favor from me and didn't even ask me how I was doing. Interestingly enough I found out through her mother that she was also getting married and I was not even invited to her wedding. :rolleyes2: I never even intended to have a romantic relationship with her or anything but I was there for her during all her freaking issues and gave her all the emotional support she wanted, at least a fucking "thank you" would have been nice to hear for being there for her sorry ass. The fact that she stopped calling me after her issues were solved and I wasn't even invited to the wedding was a huge slap in face to me. I am never doing the whole emotional support shit ever agian, people only use you and never appreciate all that you do for them.
    ENFJ 3W4

    If you read this I am sorry to say that you just lost 5 seconds of your life that you wont be getting back.*

    *Actual time may vary.

  7. #17
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
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    I say this a lot because it's something that works for me -

    Never give anything away that you wouldn't want taken from you.

    Solves the problem of ending up feeling used.
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  8. #18
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Third Rider View Post
    It seems like people always came to when they had emotional issues, but I personally sick of that role. I had a friend (a girl) that I had known for several years and we used to talk a lot and hang out. Than she started to have A LOT of issues and she prectiacally called me just about every day to get emotinal support from me, which I provided for her and I tried my best to help her out. This went of for like a year and I even ended up getting into some arguments try to defend her ass. So after a ton of crying, bitching, sobbing and me being there to help her out with anything and everything I could she moved on to college away from all her issues. So, as all her issues went away she completely ignored me, she never called me or contacted me in any away until a year later when she called. Wouldn't you know she only called me because she needed a favor from me and didn't even ask me how I was doing. Interestingly enough I found out through her mother that she was also getting married and I was not even invited to her wedding. :rolleyes2: I never even intended to have a romantic relationship with her or anything but I was there for her during all her freaking issues and gave her all the emotional support she wanted, at least a fucking "thank you" would have been nice to hear for being there for her sorry ass. The fact that she stopped calling me after her issues were solved and I wasn't even invited to the wedding was a huge slap in face to me. I am never doing the whole emotional support shit ever agian, people only use you and never appreciate all that you do for them.
    I feel you, been there, done that, wearing the T shirt as I type lol.

    It sucks when people do that to you.
    Echo - "So are you trying to say she is Evil"

    DeWitt - "Something far worse, she's an Idealist"

    Berb's Johari Berb's Nohari

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by jtanSis1 View Post
    Ah the dreaded friend zone. "Oh, thanks for being a friend for me but now I don't see you in a romantic way." Then they go off, and come back when something new is wrong or we become the standby person they will be interested in when noone else is then leave again when all's well. Just because I treat you like a friend doesn't mean I don't want you to take me seriously. We might be good at counseling but understand why we might be helping you. We're not your private therapist for free for no reason. Sorry if that's harsh but I like to help but I like to know that I'm appreciated for it.
    Aww, you're appreciated, hehe.

  10. #20
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    It's great to be the martyr and help the ills of the world, but not so you can make the same mistake again. I'm starting to see how God feels about unrepentant sinners. Society has made us believe in instant intimacy, that only good feelings are involved. Instant intimacy only hurts them since it doesn't fill the entire void. Intimacy is about getting close, being hurt, and still loving them and persevering. It's other-person focused, not being self-centered and about ourselves, but with an open heart that can stand the pain just to be closer. That's what makes us so vital is our preference to have an open heart to others. Sorry If this is preachy or too deep, probably wrong topic for this.

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