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Thread: NFs and Gifts

  1. #1
    Free-Rangin' Librarian Jae Rae's Avatar
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    Default NFs and Gifts

    I'm starting this thread because yet another friend (NT) told me it's hard for her to choose gifts for me. She said when my birthday comes up, her mind goes blank, so this time she asked me what I'd like. Well, what's wrong with that?

    I've taken to dropping hints or even just outright telling my husband (NT) what I'd like for occasions and this works well.

    What's so strange is that I usually give gifts that are appropriate and appreciated by folks - I seem to have a knack. It's not that they're just being kind or polite, I can tell it's the right gift. I do this in various ways: I know their hobbies and interests; this information stays in my head when I'm out shopping, not necessarily for them; I'm not afraid to ask others and/or them what they'd like. My NF daughter also can do this easily.

    So I'm wondering - do you have the knack for gift-giving? And do others tell you it's easy or hard to buy gifts for you?


    I should add I'm always appreciative for any gifts received.
    Proud Female Rider in Maverick's Bike Club.

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    Senior Member Kyrielle's Avatar
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    Depends on the person. Usually if I know them okay and know about a quirk or two, I can find something that will be useful or will make them laugh because it makes fun of one of their quirks in a gentle way. I dunno, there's also some weird thing where sometimes I just look at something and will say "This has so-and-so written all over it" because something about it will be almost exactly like some part of their personality.

    However, there are some people who, even though I know them well, I prefer to ask directly what they want. For example, I can "eyeball" shop for my brother and father, but I cannot do this very well for my mother. Mostly it's because I want to get her something she can use, and she's not always utility oriented. That and I also usually get her a book or two for the holidays and I don't want to be that person that gives away shitty books to people, so I like to make sure it's something they've been wanting to read.

    As for myself. I can't imagine it being too terribly hard to shop for me. I like gifts that I can use, and I'm not all that secretive about my interests nor do I always have everything I need for my interests. If someone were really stuck, but didn't want to ask me directly what I wanted, I could point them to my bookshelf and that'd give them a pretty good idea of what kind of person I am (like how people find out more about other people by looking through their music collection, for me it's looking through my books).
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  3. #3
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Apparently I'm difficult, but my family says that about my father too, whom I probably know the best gifts for. Funny thing is, with the people I do know how what to get for, the things themselves tend to cost between $70 and $500. This is not because they're greedy, but because their activities and interests are expensive.
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    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    People in my family say I'm difficult to buy for, because I'll get mad if it's not useful and something I really need. I am a bit of a grinch when it comes to spending money on unnecessary items. My sister says I'm hard to buy for because of my taste.

    My friends.. I don't recall once getting upset over a gift. The best gifts are ones that are home-made or something that used to belong to the person. Those make me

    As for gift-giving.. I've never been much of a gift-giver. If I get you a gift, it's something I liked and might want to borrow someday.

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    almost half a doctor phoenix13's Avatar
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    Hmmm, I don't think I have a knack for giving gifts. I can make kick-ass cards, though.

    No one has expressed difficulty in buying me presents. I'm pretty passionate about a lot of things and almost always happy with free stuff, so it's easy to think up gift ideas and hard to mess up.

    Perhaps it's a matter of how out-there (visible, expressed) your interests are.

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    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Depends on how well I know the person, sometimes I can find the perfect gift other times I have no clue.

    For me, I started making a wishlist on amazon, cuz I can never think of what I want when asked directly. I don't expect to get half the things on the list, but their's enough that I'll be suprised and still get what I want.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

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    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    I tend to have this as well. People seem to be unable to shop for me, although I am disgustingly easy to please and I have enough hobbies and interests to forever doom me..

    But my gift giving usually goes like this: I find something that's PERFECT for someone every so often. Christmas rolls around: I usually have had my eye out on gifts months in advance, so when the season kicks in, I sort of know what I am looking for. I, too, collect information and tuck it away in my mind as far as hints people have dropped, or things people have said. I also do generic gift-giving if I just have a blank drawn in my mind, but otherwise I tend to go out of my way to ensure if I'm going to do it, at least do it right.
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  8. #8
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
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    I carry the people I would give gifts to with me in thought. Sometimes I'll run into something that's "just perfect" and pick it up on the spot to save for a gift.

    I like to give gifts that have meaning to the other person and try to find something unique. I often sew or cook my gifts for others. When I'm stumped I give a gift of my time. Magazine subscriptions on subjects of interest are also a good idea, I think.

    I may be difficult to buy for. Material things are not of great importance to me, so a diamond necklace wouldn't be highly valued unless it were a family heirloom. It could be that I'd rather have an arrangement of dried flowers. And I think people might feel uncomfortable giving me something with so little apparent value to them.

    I appreciate most gifts I am given. And over time I've told most everyone in my life to please not buy me items of apparrel as my taste in clothing is unusual.
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  9. #9
    Free-Rangin' Librarian Jae Rae's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anja View Post
    I carry the people I would give gifts to with me in thought. Sometimes I'll run into something that's "just perfect" and pick it up on the spot to save for a gift.

    I like to give gifts that have meaning to the other person and try to find something unique. I often sew or cook my gifts for others. When I'm stumped I give a gift of my time. Magazine subscriptions on subjects of interest are also a good idea, I think.

    I may be difficult to buy for. Material things are not of great importance to me, so a diamond necklace wouldn't be highly valued unless it were a family heirloom. It could be that I'd rather have an arrangement of dried flowers. And I think people might feel uncomfortable giving me something with so little apparent value to them.

    I appreciate most gifts I am given. And over time I've told most everyone in my life to please not buy me items of apparrel as my taste in clothing is unusual.
    Anja, I agree with nearly every word you've written here.

    I love gifts of self - baked goods, homemade cards, homegrown flowers, etc. I also love to go out to lunch with friends for my birthday.

    Clothing is tough to buy, but isn't it so for most people?

    I also relate to Kyrielle's post about books - my husband and I both work with books, so people sometimes think we love ALL books.

    Thanks to everyone who posted. There are many similarities to my experience of giving and receiving gifts.
    Proud Female Rider in Maverick's Bike Club.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jae Rae View Post
    I'm starting this thread because yet another friend (NT) told me it's hard for her to choose gifts for me. She said when my birthday comes up, her mind goes blank, so this time she asked me what I'd like. Well, what's wrong with that?

    I've taken to dropping hints or even just outright telling my husband (NT) what I'd like for occasions and this works well.
    I try to learn about the person and see what items they display in their homes or keep about them on daily basis.

    I give my husband a specific list each year with book titles, clothing sizes and colors, etc. My best friend does the same with her husband. My husband is INFJ and hers is ENFP. It takes the stress off of them.

    I get the same thing from him every year for Christmas basically, a new nightgown, a DVD or two, several books and I'm always thrilled.

    My sisters get me the sweetest, most thoughful whimiscal items with cats on them which I love. (even the sister who otherwise won't talk to me!)

    My in-laws buy me books that I hate. Like "behind scenes at the white house" and then say "well I know you like history." When they've asked me what time period I study, I've told them early modern: 1400-1850, it never sticks with them. *sigh*

    But goodness, get me just about anything with cats on it, or anything dealing with said time period or scented candles or bath oils. I'm really happy with those types of gifts.

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