User Tag List

123 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 29

  1. #1
    Senior Member Angry Ayrab's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Posts
    600

    Default NF type male, with a T type female.

    Well, I know that I have never been in an intimate relationship with a T type. I know that I am attracted to them, but what makes me curious is, how such a relationship plays out.

    As much as I would like to deny being socialized by a patriarichal system, I know I am affected by it. What I mean by bringing that up, is I do expect to be the man in my relationship, even if I am "Thenthitive and Thoughtful." Would this be interpreted by a T type female as her man being a sissy? I personally know that I am not a sissy, and that is good enough for me, but come on, that wouldn't be cool, if your SO didn't validate your thoughts and perceptions, as after yourself, their opinions are the most important to you.

    Sorry, I am not making sense, but what I am curious is, how would a mature T (Female) type work with a NF (male) in a relationship?

    Man, I am having a hard time explaining my thoughts

  2. #2
    Senior Member Chris_in_Orbit's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    MBTI
    ESTJ
    Posts
    504

    Default

    =| It depends on what you define as mature. If mature means they don't have societal expectations on gender roles then yes your relationship should work out just fine on that level.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Angry Ayrab's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Posts
    600

    Default

    Ok, here is where the perception comes from. I always hear T types call us smothering, from an emotional perspective.

  4. #4
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    5,352

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Angry Ayrab View Post
    Well, I know that I have never been in an intimate relationship with a T type. I know that I am attracted to them, but what makes me curious is, how such a relationship plays out.

    As much as I would like to deny being socialized by a patriarichal system, I know I am affected by it. What I mean by bringing that up, is I do expect to be the man in my relationship, even if I am "Thenthitive and Thoughtful." Would this be interpreted by a T type female as her man being a sissy? I personally know that I am not a sissy, and that is good enough for me, but come on, that wouldn't be cool, if your SO didn't validate your thoughts and perceptions, as after yourself, their opinions are the most important to you.

    Sorry, I am not making sense, but what I am curious is, how would a mature T (Female) type work with a NF (male) in a relationship?

    Man, I am having a hard time explaining my thoughts
    T women can be feminine. They are not all manly, as you seem to fear. I don't think you will have a problem. There's a lot more to a person than their MBTI.

    I love NF males. I love their insight and the ease with which I can talk to them about deep feelings.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Chris_in_Orbit's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    MBTI
    ESTJ
    Posts
    504

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Angry Ayrab View Post
    Ok, here is where the perception comes from. I always hear T types call us smothering, from an emotional perspective.
    We are.

  6. #6
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    5,352

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Angry Ayrab View Post
    Ok, here is where the perception comes from. I always hear T types call us smothering, from an emotional perspective.
    Find someone who doesn't feel smothered by you.

  7. #7
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    1
    Posts
    3,823

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Angry Ayrab View Post
    Well, I know that I have never been in an intimate relationship with a T type. I know that I am attracted to them, but what makes me curious is, how such a relationship plays out.

    As much as I would like to deny being socialized by a patriarichal system, I know I am affected by it. What I mean by bringing that up, is I do expect to be the man in my relationship, even if I am "Thenthitive and Thoughtful." Would this be interpreted by a T type female as her man being a sissy? I personally know that I am not a sissy, and that is good enough for me, but come on, that wouldn't be cool, if your SO didn't validate your thoughts and perceptions, as after yourself, their opinions are the most important to you.

    Sorry, I am not making sense, but what I am curious is, how would a mature T (Female) type work with a NF (male) in a relationship?

    Man, I am having a hard time explaining my thoughts
    There are T females out there that don't want to be teh man in a relationship either. (BTW, for other readers, not implying that this is universal, only stating how this would work in the previously-stated worldview.)

    My hesitation to date NFP types is not that they couldn't be the man in the relationship, but due to the stress that comes from me (a TJ) needing closure and structure and (not excessive amounts by any means, but) reasonable efficiency with achieving such structure and closure. Because I feel a bit of pressure to achieve this closure, I always end up taking the initiative with decisions, which sets a tone in the relationship that makes me tired. I don't want to do that, despite being a) good at it and b) needing the structure. I would far rather the guy take the lead and set out what's going to happen (when we're going where) knowing that I'm more than vocal and confident enough to speak up for myself whenever there's something planned that I am disinterested in/uncomfortable with/etc.

    The NFPs I know all cast out feelers for a long while which stresses me when I'm looking for direction on how to proceed forward; not knowing what's coming so I can relax is what I dislike about NFPs. (My stress is not very visible nor pronounced... it's just tiny things that add up and make me think long-term that I don't like being in a very mildly stressed state 24/7 which makes me avoid most NFPs in romantic relationships.)

    FP males might work better with TP females than TJ females. Unless you can be true to yourself and your need for open-ended freedom while still accounting for the TJ female's need for closure.

    (BTW, it's all the little things that are stressful. When to get the car in for the appointment, when to plan to do x, y, z, etc. This is the structure that TJ females need to feel relaxed and be comfortable and friendly people. Without the structure we get mildly stressed and then you see the not-so-fun parts of the TJ.)
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  8. #8
    seńor member colmena's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    MBTI
    INXP
    Posts
    1,550

    Default

    I wish there were more type relationship dynamics available online. With gender variations, also.
    http://badges.mypersonality.info/badge/0/6/68764.png
    Ti Ne Fi Ni

    -How beautiful, this pale Endymion hour.
    -What are you talking about?
    -Endymion, my dear. A beautiful youth possessed by the moon.
    -Well, forget about him and get to bed.
    -Yes, my dear.

  9. #9
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    FREE
    Enneagram
    594 sx/sp
    Socionics
    LII Ne
    Posts
    42,333

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by colmena View Post
    I wish there were more type relationship dynamics available online. With gender variations, also.
    Me too, although the gender variations are greatly impacted by culture (which includes predominant religious/moral beliefs). So it would only be applicable if everything matched up.

    I think that the theoretical isn't really sufficient to capture the reality of specific type matchups, so people who have had extensive experience with certain types of people need to be the ones to develop a particular pairing description.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  10. #10
    meh Salomé's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx/sp
    Posts
    10,540

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    There are T females out there that don't want to be teh man in a relationship either.

    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    My hesitation to date NFP types is not that they couldn't be the man in the relationship, but due to the stress that comes from me (a TJ) needing closure and structure and (not excessive amounts by any means, but) reasonable efficiency with achieving such structure and closure. Because I feel a bit of pressure to achieve this closure, I always end up taking the initiative with decisions, which sets a tone in the relationship that makes me tired. I don't want to do that, despite being a) good at it and b) needing the structure. I would far rather the guy take the lead and set out what's going to happen (when we're going where) knowing that I'm more than vocal and confident enough to speak up for myself whenever there's something planned that I am disinterested in/uncomfortable with/etc.

    The NFPs I know all cast out feelers for a long while which stresses me when I'm looking for direction on how to proceed forward; not knowing what's coming so I can relax is what I dislike about NFPs. (My stress is not very visible nor pronounced... it's just tiny things that add up and make me think long-term that I don't like being in a very mildly stressed state 24/7 which makes me avoid most NFPs in romantic relationships.)
    QFT!
    Informative vs. directive communication style.

    I have a problem with men (and women) who are overly sensitive. I don't want to have to walk on eggshells or second-guess everything I say.
    That stresses me. So thinskins are out.

    I like the intensity of many NFs. And a little smothering is ok, depending on who is doing it and how .

Similar Threads

  1. [MBTItm] ENTPs as Parents for NF Types
    By Waffle in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 05-17-2010, 09:14 PM
  2. [NF] composition for nf types
    By the state i am in in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 27
    Last Post: 11-17-2009, 07:36 PM
  3. [NF] What Are the Best Qualities of Each NF Type?
    By Glycerine in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 87
    Last Post: 10-11-2009, 03:27 PM
  4. [NF] Which NF type would you pick for your SO?
    By nightwatcher in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 83
    Last Post: 07-01-2008, 05:59 PM
  5. [NF] What sort of topics are NF type topics?
    By Alienclock in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 39
    Last Post: 06-23-2007, 09:39 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO