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  1. #61
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by iwakar View Post
    Any of you NF females both drawn to and repulsed by NF males?

    I seem to experience more of the second response than the first (comparatively, not generally) as I hurtle towards 30 and I'm feeling guilty about it.
    Interesting question.

    I think I'm really both drawn to and repulsed by the NF males. I can handle NF females much better. I really don't know how to react to NF males. Maybe because I'm not used to experience such intensity with males. I'm more used to handle the strong T (ST or NT) males.

    I really have to think about this....

  2. #62
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    ..Mayhap it is my experience with NF males that makes me capable of handling them so entirely well. In retrospect, my life has tended to attract, coincidence or otherwise, NF males in my life I think on a scale I don't suspect to be entirely common. It is the NT males that absolutely attract my curiosity.
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  3. #63
    Scream down the boulevard LadyJaye's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anja View Post
    I think I understand what you're saying, Lady. I don't know how to do it other than to walk through it. I know that walking around it isn't an option in some cases.

    I've come to the conclusion that to be alive and to be me is to open myself to both heartaches and joy and that it is worth it.

    I've learned to grieve in a healthy way and that's helped a lot. No more of that mopey, addictive and destructive self-pity stuff and that has made it easier for me to accept loss. Takes away my fear of being hurt or making a mistake. Courage.

    Learning where my boundaries with others are is a continuous process which becomes easier with time. I need to be very clear with myself about where I and the other person begin and end. Very clear.

    Only way to walk through it is to embrace it when it comes. "Okay, now we're going to do this, learn something and come out on the other side stronger." Like that.

    And I take paying attention to myself seriously when the emotions become intense. Myself. Not the other person. This is important and can be difficult.
    Yeah, walking through things seems to be the only way to live my life and continue to be in flux, which I have to have. It's just, sometimes I feel like the grieving is going to break me in half. I could have a really good cry about something, and know that it's only the tip of the iceberg - that I'd probably need seven more good cries just to take the sting out. It's very exhausting, and physically, I have to be careful with myself. Crying makes me sick, so I've had to avoid it, knowing the whole time that crying is healthy and that my brain and body are just trying to help themselves. Thus, the reason I look at grieving like doom.

  4. #64
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    i think my dad was an enfp like me...and i think he was the coolest! haha...i can't imagine anyone being repulsed by an nf guy...weird thing to say actually.
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  5. #65
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Typology aside it kind of bums me out how women don't have a problem dressing up the "damsel in distress" outfit society as created for them.

    The pressure to perform is almost always on the male side of things. We have to act tough even if we aren't. Women can just latch on to a tough guy.
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  6. #66
    Senior Member quietmusician's Avatar
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    Nice to know I am "capable" of being handled. Seriously though, I am not that bad to be around..I promise, lol. I can grow some T when the time calls for it.

  7. #67
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    I personally love NF men. The intensity, the passion, what's not to love. The emotional connection is such a rush. It's not always as practical as dating an NT though...the emotional highs are incredible but the emotional lows are...equally challenging. Exhausting..but so worth it in my opinion
    I tend to like both NT's and NF's in my friends as well. NT's are reassuring to have around when you are unsure on how to deal with something yourself. NF's are way better at handling my emotional side though, and will understand that I don't need to hear solutions at that point, I just need a friend. Also way easier to hug

    They both provide a sense of safety and trust, in their own way, which is something I very much respond to.
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  8. #68

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    I think the fear of NF males is not fear of weakness but fear of self. No person who is strong and developed has a need to fear someone emotional. The fear of emotions is theirs. They are uncomfortable because something is presented that does not involve avoidance and the modern carefree life. There is something higher at stake, something deeper at stake. You don't just get to flow through it, you stop and live. Some are built for this adrenaline and high life. They seek it, and need that out of worldly feeling. Some can't face it, and just need to safely cruise to death.
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  9. #69
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    Quote Originally Posted by noigmn View Post
    I think the fear of NF males is not fear of weakness but fear of self. No person who is strong and developed has a need to fear someone emotional. The fear of emotions is theirs. They are uncomfortable because something is presented that does not involve avoidance and the modern carefree life. There is something higher at stake, something deeper at stake. You don't just get to flow through it, you stop and live. Some are built for this adrenaline and high life. They seek it, and need that out of worldly feeling. Some can't face it, and just need to safely cruise to death.

    I am prepared to face my emotions now and live, thats not something that I want to avoid.

  10. #70
    Member hopeseed's Avatar
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    I really love NF males. Although I have to say, I think some NF's, if we're unhealthy emotionally, can be pretty horrible, that goes for anyone I guess. But for the most part NF males, to me are the best! Those qualities are so attractive to me, especially if they're comfortable with being how they are.
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