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  1. #51
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    trust me, the road is narrow and ridiculously long. I had to go through an entire bookstore of self-help, psychology, philosophy, metaphysics, new age, and relationships all while keeping my sanity from too much information just to come up with these insights. Like how to make relationships really work, or how to help people no matter what their going through. Now I just need to get the message out that I'm giving away free counceling and big question answers. I should be on doctorate level with a ton of books with all of this, but with results that actually work. Oh well, guess I should just enjoy being part of the divine and having fun.

  2. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by jtanSis1 View Post
    trust me, the road is narrow and ridiculously long. I had to go through an entire bookstore of self-help, psychology, philosophy, metaphysics, new age, and relationships all while keeping my sanity from too much information just to come up with these insights. Like how to make relationships really work, or how to help people no matter what their going through. Now I just need to get the message out that I'm giving away free counceling and big question answers. I should be on doctorate level with a ton of books with all of this, but with results that actually work. Oh well, guess I should just enjoy being part of the divine and having fun.
    Ok I understand, haha. Its much appreciated, thanks for the advice, there is no irritation on my part. The only time I think too much about these things is if I'm wondering if I've upset anyone somehow, this I will have to stop.

  3. #53
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    yeah it's hard to not feel like I upseted someone, or to let someone know when they upseted me. Most of my family is T type so they don't get when I try to help them. I find it better to just go with it anyway until they say something, but not take it too personally, then it seems to get through.

  4. #54
    Mamma said knock you out Mempy's Avatar
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    I'm not repulsed by types, but by individuals. NFs, male and female alike, who are irrational and immature, bug me. But I could definitely, definitely get along - even fall in love with - an NF male who had a strong rational and independent side. And I'm sure there are quite a few of them out there, actually.
    They're running just like you
    For you, and I, wooo
    So people, people, need some good ol' love

  5. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by jtanSis1 View Post
    yeah it's hard to not feel like I upseted someone, or to let someone know when they upseted me. Most of my family is T type so they don't get when I try to help them. I find it better to just go with it anyway until they say something, but not take it too personally, then it seems to get through.
    I only get worried if I hurt people's feelings who I hold in good regard, so if I ask too many questions its just that, never intended as anything else. So Im asking if Ive hurt anyone's feelings rather than towards me. I very much like the advice you give jtansis1, you're a great help.

  6. #56
    Senor Membrane
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    Quote Originally Posted by jtanSis1 View Post
    trust me, the road is narrow and ridiculously long. I had to go through an entire bookstore of self-help, psychology, philosophy, metaphysics, new age, and relationships all while keeping my sanity from too much information just to come up with these insights. Like how to make relationships really work, or how to help people no matter what their going through.
    This is a really good point. Think how useful it would be for any society to make it easy for people to handle their lives better (happy people = more productivity). Why is this not being done? I think I am on to something with my own little "research" and I have found some simple truths that have made my life easier. The big question is, why does it have to be a research? Psychology has to be far enough to build something that could help everyone become more happy and successful. Something less like self-help books. The number one priority of any society must be to secure the well-being of the people's survival. The second should be their happiness. If this is possible by teaching them some more useful skills than mathematics and history, why it is not being done?

  7. #57
    Scream down the boulevard LadyJaye's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jtanSis1 View Post
    Then miss out on the deep romance then, because that's what were good at and all we got going for us other than caring for others. NF men are not taken seriously in society even though were trying to make it better for everyone. Besides, without us, you wouldn't have your Princes, Knights in shining armor, Seducers, and Romantics so cut us some slack for trying to make love work in the world.
    My INFJ relationship was intense to a degree that it frightened me, in the sense that he was also a spiritual creature and I couldn't retreat back into my cosmic world, as he could also follow me there. If that makes any sense. I find the instant recognition touching to a depth that I can't describe. But I also find it profoundly terrifying, that depth of connection. I find a tremendous comfort in the idea that this person will be with me in this life and the next, but I sometimes feel crushed under the weight of the feelings I have for them. When my INFJ left me, I grieved about the loss for two years.


    Quote Originally Posted by Anja View Post
    I love 'em. Just totally love 'em.

    It's like instant recognition of a soulmate.

    But in RL I keep my distance because they wear me out.
    Again, this is how I feel as well. The NF connection is so intense, even with people you don't immediately know. When Joe Strummer died, I thought I would never stop crying. ( Even now, I still cry sometimes when I see his face .) As NF's, we have a way of connecting to others in such deep ways, that the meaning of our intentions can make me feel like I'm drowning, even though I don't want it to. As a matter of fact, it's a problem I'm wrestling with now. I would love to have feedback on ways to survive the depth of feeling, as ignoring it or escaping it is not an option.

  8. #58
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
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    I think I understand what you're saying, Lady. I don't know how to do it other than to walk through it. I know that walking around it isn't an option in some cases.

    I've come to the conclusion that to be alive and to be me is to open myself to both heartaches and joy and that it is worth it.

    I've learned to grieve in a healthy way and that's helped a lot. No more of that mopey, addictive and destructive self-pity stuff and that has made it easier for me to accept loss. Takes away my fear of being hurt or making a mistake. Courage.

    Learning where my boundaries with others are is a continuous process which becomes easier with time. I need to be very clear with myself about where I and the other person begin and end. Very clear.

    Only way to walk through it is to embrace it when it comes. "Okay, now we're going to do this, learn something and come out on the other side stronger." Like that.

    And I take paying attention to myself seriously when the emotions become intense. Myself. Not the other person. This is important and can be difficult.

    This applies to me in various circumstances and I'm speaking broadly. How else? Heh.

    I have time to pm over the weekend if you'd like to discuss it further.

    (Now all the Esses and Tees are saying, "Wha' she say?" Hee.)
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  9. #59
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
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    Um. I'm not sure what I said, but I bet Lady Jaye knows.
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  10. #60
    Member Chukamok's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mempy View Post
    I'm not repulsed by types, but by individuals. NFs, male and female alike, who are irrational and immature, bug me. But I could definitely, definitely get along - even fall in love with - an NF male who had a strong rational and independent side. And I'm sure there are quite a few of them out there, actually.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Dr Seuss

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