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  1. #31
    Senior Member Noel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by iwakar View Post
    Any of you NF females both drawn to and repulsed by NF males?

    I seem to experience more of the second response than the first (comparatively, not generally) as I hurtle towards 30 and I'm feeling guilty about it.

    If I may, I wish to offer my perspective as a male.

    Albeit repulsed seems too strong of a word, I agree with you. I seem to forge at least a connection with an F faster than I would with a T. In regards to a relationship with someone, I need perspective and being with a T has certainly provided that. I'm probably already volatile as it is, so why enhance that further? Overall, T's provide me with a balance that I've desired.



    Quote Originally Posted by JivinJeffJones View Post
    I know quite a few NF guys and they are almost all hooked-up with T women. Coincidence? I think not.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mondo View Post
    I agree with you. I tend to be more attracted to T types than F types BUT I think that F types are generally more attracted to me (including NFs)- however, Feelers tend to be more willing to be attracted to someone else than Thinkers, Thinkers aren't likely to give too many hints (especially the Introverted ones)..
    Indeed, no coincidence.
    I may be bested in battle, but I shall never be defeated.

  2. #32
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    We live in a society where females have taken or shared more of the masculine roles and men think they have to be effeminate to be with them. Tell the NF men to lead and that they don't have to support and they will pull themselves together if you support them in that role. An NF man who leads instead of supports is a force to be respected.

  3. #33
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    Default don't put us in a box...

    most of this discussion assumes that we are 100% of every preference. that is not the case as you know.

    Some ENFJ's like me have been forced through life to move toward the T side and perhaps even the S side. Not that we become that, but we have to move in that direction.

    I would expect most people who have lived a little recognize the need for balance. Not that I am not fully an ENFJ, no doubt about it. But, life often forces us to deal with things which tend to balance us out a bit.

    I am married to an ISTJ woman and it is incredibly difficut regarding communication and closeness. She rarely opens up or orients her perspective around the relationship.

    My suggestion to you NF women, is thank God for NF men and lighten up a little bit. Date or marry an ST and you will come running back to an NF.

    Personally, when dealing with other NF women in business or friendship, it is a breath of fresh air. Even an NT is a delight. Speaking about concepts and ideas rather than the concrete is amazing.

    All NF's have the tendency to always want something better. That seems to be what I am hearing here. I can tell you I am very tough when I need to be and in business am forced to use my T abilities heavily. It is uncomfortable but necessary.

    My adivce, NF's should always stick with NF's and perhaps NT's if it feels right but NEVER ST's.

    Thats my two cents for what it's worth. I speak not from theory but experience. After all I am a genuine ENFJ, a human x ray machine.

  4. #34
    Senior Member Kestrel's Avatar
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    As a NF guy, I've never really encountered the problems mentioned. I'm not really moody, but I can always tell if there's something going on "under the surface" with someone I care about. And I can't hide how I feel about it. Most of the time, I don't think people appreciate this characteristic.

    But I wouldn't trade being an NF guy for anything. As far as I'm concerned, I get the best of both worlds. I have all the benefits of being a strong, assertive male plus the ability to actually understand women when they talk about these things called "feelings".
    Likes Noon liked this post

  5. #35

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    Quote Originally Posted by jtanSis1 View Post
    We live in a society where females have taken or shared more of the masculine roles and men think they have to be effeminate to be with them. Tell the NF men to lead and that they don't have to support and they will pull themselves together if you support them in that role. An NF man who leads instead of supports is a force to be respected.
    +1
    Freude, schöner Götterfunken Tochter aus Elysium, Wir betreten feuertrunken, Himmlische, dein Heiligtum! Deine Zauber binden wieder Was die Mode streng geteilt; Alle Menschen werden Brüder, Wo dein sanfter Flügel weilt.

  6. #36
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jtanSis1 View Post
    We live in a society where females have taken or shared more of the masculine roles and men think they have to be effeminate to be with them. Tell the NF men to lead and that they don't have to support and they will pull themselves together if you support them in that role. An NF man who leads instead of supports is a force to be respected.
    It would be quite helpful, also, to not call him cold when he does this. :steam:
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

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  7. #37

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    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    I'd need an NF female who wouldn't call me cold.
    I... see... a pattern...
    "The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things." - Rainer Maria Rilke

  8. #38
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by iwakar View Post
    I... see... a pattern...
    Yeah, last year I turned an ENFJ off because I wasn't freaking out when she was. Probably would have helped if she actually looked at me and saw my tears, but she was too busy freaking out. The thing was, her calling me cold hit me worse than her leaving me - the irony.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

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  9. #39
    Senior Member PinkIceTD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by iwakar View Post
    Any of you NF females both drawn to and repulsed by NF males?

    I seem to experience more of the second response than the first (comparatively, not generally) as I hurtle towards 30 and I'm feeling guilty about it.
    Not repulsed, just overwhelmed.

    I love NF guys as friends. Especially ENF. But as anything more it's too much emotion. I feel like there is no balance between us.

  10. #40
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    Then miss out on the deep romance then, because that's what were good at and all we got going for us other than caring for others. NF men are not taken seriously in society even though were trying to make it better for everyone. Besides, without us, you wouldn't have your Princes, Knights in shining armor, Seducers, and Romantics so cut us some slack for trying to make love work in the world.

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