You're not sure you actually want them as much as you thought you did?
Anyone else ever have this happen to them?
It's just that in the first time in 4 years I have actually starting talking back to people who attempt to make friends with me, I've been out for a meal and a drink with some other ladies, and much as I really wanted and sought out this human contact, I'm beginning to doubt the wisdom of this course.
I'm sitting there having a conversation with one part of my mind watching it from a distance, judging and assessing what I'm hearing, balancing it against what I have experienced before when I have had friends and I'm not sure it's all worth it.
Do you ever do this? seek out contact then reject it before it can consume and drain you?