User Tag List

First 12

Results 11 to 18 of 18

  1. #11
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    2,967

    Default

    I'm wondering if I misread your OP. Or did you edit it?

    If not, I've misread the question. You are asking if I ever wonder if it's worth making friends, right?

    I used to do that. Maybe it's a matter of fine-tuning your social skills and what you want and sizing someone up? Learning to judge what's a good fit for you before you commit so much.

    Edit: If you've been out of the loop for a while you might need to refresh your skills.

    And - learning to pace yourself in relationships so that you don't deplete your energy.

    Does that fit?
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  2. #12
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    2,967

    Default

    Rereading a third time. Slow.

    I think maybe I was responding to your first sentence about whether you think you want them or not.

    My first response indicated that in my life it needs to be a mutual thing and not a matter of one person wanting the other or not. That never seems to work for me.
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  3. #13
    Senior Member Simplexity's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    MBTI
    INTP
    Posts
    1,741

    Default

    I think that is a sentiment that rings true with a lot of people who have sort of an avoidance thing going on in terms of relationships. I know personally for me, at least for the foreseeable future, I will always sort of be that way because in my youth I moved around a ton( 3 continents by the time I was 10, 4 countries before I was 13) so I developed some subconscious boundaries.

    I guess boredom, anxiety, fear, commitment are all sort of rooted in the inability to have yourself open to manipulation, and to change that is not under your control. It's probably something that Introverts especially deal with.

    For me personally, whether right or wrong, I understand that each friend isn't going to provide me with all that I necessarily want or may need. I likewise might not be willing to share and provide all that I can offer with each one so I go in knowing that and enjoy the particular qualities and things that each individual friendship provides. Quite honestly that is the only( not like cut and dry) way that I can interact with so many SJ's and extroverts who don't necessarily fully understand Introverts or specifically my personality.
    My cold, snide, intellectual life is just a veneer, behind which lies the plywood of loneliness.

  4. #14
    Senior Member Bella's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    MBTI
    ISTJ
    Posts
    1,510

    Default

    I think you might just have to get used to people slowly. Isolation is nice 'n all, but can make you a bit weird in the head. I think mild paranoia is part of that. (Or is it paranoia first, then isolation?)
    yesiknowimamiserablegrouchnowgoawayovmeleor

    It's Mizzz ST, thank you...

  5. #15
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    2,967

    Default

    I thought, Berberella, that your OP initially said something about feeling taken advantage of? Did I mix it up with some other place?

    If it did, Bella's and Aimahn's comments may have touched on that.

    (Wow, Aimahn. Quite a lot of adjustments you've had to make. Must've learned a lot.)
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  6. #16
    EvanTheClown (ETC) Clownmaster's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    2
    Socionics
    IEE
    Posts
    965

    Default

    I think its more of an INF thing, but I do judge people as I conversate with them to figure out what makes them tick to see if they might have some similar morals and values to what I have, to perceive if I should spend my time getting to know them better or not,or if it would be a waste of my efforts to result in disappointment at the end.

    Because you can't spell "Slaughter" without "Laughter"

  7. #17
    movin melodies kiddykat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    4, 7
    Socionics
    IEE
    Posts
    1,115

    Default

    Peer influence can be pretty powerful.

    I think it's wise to be smart about the friends we choose. After all, besides family, our closest friends help to define who we are, at heart.

    It's smart to foster friendships with people who truly resonate with us from within, people who see us eye-to-eye, those who validate us and encourage us to grow to become 'better' people, vice versa. Deep bonds like that are hard to find. They're truly worth keeping..

  8. #18
    Senior Member Kyrielle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    1,297

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Bella View Post
    I think you might just have to get used to people slowly. Isolation is nice 'n all, but can make you a bit weird in the head. I think mild paranoia is part of that. (Or is it paranoia first, then isolation?)
    Definitely. Listen to this woman!

    As for the second half of that, I think it's more of a chicken and egg thing. Which is to say, a feedback loop. You isolate yourself and feel paranoid at the same time, then because you have isolated yourself you get more paranoid and because you're more paranoid you continue to isolate yourself and on and on and on.

    As for the OP, yes I ask myself that question sometimes. Sometimes I'll even go back to being avoidant, and I've realised, it's something I'll never stop doing. It's something that is partially inherent and partially learned from my childhood. What I do to counter it, is try to remember how much more balanced I feel when I'm devoting some of my time to being social with a regular group of people who I can call friends.
    "I took the one less traveled by,
    And that has made all the difference."

    Robert Frost

Similar Threads

  1. [ENFJ] ENFJs do you find it hard to make friends?
    By ExAstrisSpes in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 02-08-2011, 02:52 PM
  2. Is there a test you can do to find out your friends type?
    By Thinkaboutit in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 09-03-2010, 03:58 PM
  3. Replies: 3
    Last Post: 10-23-2009, 12:18 AM
  4. Any trick to see someone's facebook profile before making friend request?
    By Cality in forum Science, Technology, and Future Tech
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 10-03-2008, 01:39 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO