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  1. #21
    Senior Member Hitoshi-San's Avatar
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    I can't judge the things I overhear people say in public when they obviously have to listen to me talking.

    I go to a public high school, so I've heard the good, the bad, and the plain stupid. Yesterday I heard someone say, "So, you inject marijuana during lunch?"

  2. #22
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Guy to friends, abashed, as they passed me on the sidewalk: "Oh, I thought they sold t-shirts there."

    I look up. Store name: "Capitol Teas"
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft
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  3. #23
    your resident asshole
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    Quote Originally Posted by BadOctopus View Post
    While waiting at the DMV:

    "Hi, I had my license suspended, and I'd like to get it re-inspended."

    That's, uh... That's not a thing. But good luck to you.
    Heh. I recently had to go to what my state has instead of DMVs. The front door literally lead right into the line to get your number to wait. You have to purposely step around the ropes in order to get out of the line. This man strolls in and maneuvers over the ropes, only to wander aimlessly throughout the room. Conversation I overheard.

    Man: Where do I get a number?!

    Worker: Sir, you have to wait in the line first.

    Man: What line?!!

    A short back and forth occurs and the man is eventually directed all the way back to the front of the room where the line begins. I had to hold back my laughter at the stupidity.

  4. #24
    Suave y Fuerte BadOctopus's Avatar
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    Kid: "Mom, am I left-handed or right-handed?"
    Mom: "You're right-handed."
    Kid: "Then how come when I pick my nose, I always use my left hand?"
    Mom: (wearily) "I....... don't know."
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  5. #25
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Four or five guys in khakis, boat shoes, and either polos or button-up shirts, to one another, totally deadpan:

    "Bros."
    "Bros?"
    "Bros."
    "Bros?!"
    "Bros!"
    "Bros."
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
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    want to ask me something? go for it!
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  6. #26
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    More like "Things I Saw:"

    A friend and I were sitting at a traffic light over the weekend.

    Across the street, a woman with breasts the size of basketballs and seemingly no bra ran across the street -- we think she was trying to make the bus, which had just pulled up. We thought she would kill herself in the process and we couldn't help but laugh even feeling bad for her.

    While she was running across, a young guy in no shirt walks right in front of our car (crossing the street on our side of the intersection). He glances over at the woman on the other side... then shakes his head and keeps walking.

    Neither one knew we were watching both of them, him watching her.

    ... I guess you had to be there.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft
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  7. #27
    Fabula rasa Kas's Avatar
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    Kids are awsome.

    Girl: Mummy, I feel like I have bubbles and busses in my belly.
    Mother: I don't feel any busses there.
    Girl: Oh, but I do.
    “The world is full of obvious things which nobody by any chance ever observes." A.C. Doyle

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  8. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kas View Post
    Kids are awsome.

    Girl: Mummy, I feel like I have bubbles and busses in my belly.
    Mother: I don't feel any busses there.
    Girl: Oh, but I do.
    They are:

    Visting my 4 year old nephew

    nephew: brings flower
    me: smile, thank you
    nephew: brings another flower
    me: thank you, again
    nephew: brings a handful of rocks
    me: smiles again, thank you
    nephew: you like rocks?
    me: only when *you* bring them to me
    nephew: I *love* you, smiles and runs away
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  9. #29
    Chaser of Light Dr Mobius's Avatar
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    Heard behind me as I waited at pedestrian lights.

    Young Guy blurts into the total silence:“Im a nerd.”

    Young Girl gives the non-committal (this is kind of embarrassing): “ummhmm”

    Guy feeling the need to make his meaning unequivocal “Like a total nerd; I did really well in school.”

    Girl replied “okay”. That implied in no uncertain terms: “this is awkward please shut up.”

    Guy clearly not getting the reaction he wants; goes for the tried and true hyperbole: “I'm like an official genius”

    Luck was with all of us standing there. As at the moment we all learnt we were in such esteemed company.......... the lights turned green.

    Heaven save me from having to hear INTX flirting
    “Brighter, now brighter, pay no mind to those who squint, burn with all your heat.”

  10. #30
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Security Guard: "When in doubt, I just have them take it out."
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

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