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  1. #71
    Blah Orangey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by booyalab View Post
    I want to be in two places at once.
    Granted. Your lower half is at the bottom of the river and your torso-on-up is in the park.

    I wish true everlasting gobstoppers were real.
    Artes, Scientia, Veritasiness

  2. #72
    Order Now! pure_mercury's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Orangey View Post
    Granted. Your lower half is at the bottom of the river and your torso-on-up is in the park.

    I wish true everlasting gobstoppers were real.
    Granted, but their active ingredient is arsenic.

    I wish to be the wealthiest, most critically acclaimed movie producer in the history of the world.
    Who wants to try a bottle of merc's "Extroversion Olive Oil?"

  3. #73
    Senior Member Snail's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pure_mercury View Post
    I wish to be the wealthiest, most critically acclaimed movie producer in the history of the world.
    Granted, but you are corrupted by the fame. You spend most of your money on drugs, booze, porn, and prostitutes. One of the prostitutes gives you AIDS and you die penniless in some back alley with a heroin needle sticking out of your arm, long after your reputation for being a self-destructive, arrogant lowlife has overshadowed your previous fame.

    I wish to live happily ever after with my ideal soulmate.

  4. #74

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    Granted but your ideal soulmate is the devil, and ever-after is spent in hell.

    I wish for my wish to be corrupted.

    Accept the past. Live for the present. Look forward to the future.
    Robot Fusion
    "As our island of knowledge grows, so does the shore of our ignorance." John Wheeler
    "[A] scientist looking at nonscientific problems is just as dumb as the next guy." Richard Feynman
    "[P]etabytes of [] data is not the same thing as understanding emergent mechanisms and structures." Jim Crutchfield

  5. #75
    Oberon
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    Quote Originally Posted by ygolo View Post
    Granted but your ideal soulmate is the devil, and ever-after is spent in hell.

    I wish for my wish to be corrupted.
    You get your wish, but only in the sense that you get exactly what you wished for.

    I wish for a better-paying job.

  6. #76
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    Quote Originally Posted by oberon View Post
    I wish for a better-paying job.
    Granted. The sewage treatment plant wants to hire you.

    I wish for Crysis to run better at Very High settings on my Crossfire setup.

  7. #77
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uberfuhrer View Post
    I wish for Crysis to run better at Very High settings on my Crossfire setup.
    Of course. You were able to buy the finest system available with the settlement you received from the car accident which removed your legs and family jewels.

    I would like to have a beer.

  8. #78
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jack Flak View Post
    Of course. You were able to buy the finest system available with the settlement you received from the car accident which removed your legs and family jewels.

    I would like to have a beer.
    Granted. It's a Bud Light.

    I wish for someone to write a book about me.

  9. #79
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jack Flak View Post
    I would like to have a beer.
    Granted. It's flat and warm brought to you by Candy Crowley wearing a skimpy bar wench outfit.


    I want Sarah Palin to bring me pancakes in bed.

  10. #80
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    Quote Originally Posted by sassafrassquatch View Post
    I want Sarah Palin to bring me pancakes in bed.
    Granted. They literally are pancakes.

    I wish for more ideas.

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