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  1. #1
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
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    Thumbs up Secrets of Skeeball

    Are you sick and tired of scoring under 1000 in Skeeball?

    Are you ready to make a change in your life for the better?

    Using signature techniques I developed over days of playing, you can learn how to consistently score over 1000 and even approach 2000 points within a week or less!

    These are secrets anyone can learn in just a few hours of practice every day. It's easy!

    In my program, you will learn
    * the controversial history Skeeball *
    * fundamentals of Skeeball gameplay *
    * when to resign or reload the page *
    * how to score 100s on every roll *
    * tricks for scoring in the center rings *
    * finger placement *
    * when to try for glowing rings, and when to ignore them *
    * what types of lotions will optimize your game *
    * leaving snide comments after high scores are achieved *


    You don't need to buy any special equipment to achieve these immediate results. All you need is fingers (at least a thumb and pointer).

    ________________________________________________

    Prices start at $74.99 which includes a copy of my "Play With These Balls" instructional guide (copyright pending, 2008), "Skeet skeet skeet!" a video of me playing Skeeball and blowing my FMW's previous high score*, as well as free email correspondence for one week.


    Sign up now before challenges 7 and 8 are over!







    *

  2. #2
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    I'M IN!
    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
    -anonymous graffiti in the basilica at Pompeii

  3. #3
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    I find that post pornographic.

  4. #4
    Senior Member nottaprettygal's Avatar
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    I think I'll wait until I see what FMW is offering before I purchase.

  5. #5
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    I find that post pornographic.
    It's a known scientific fact that Skeeball is one of the sexiest games out there. You don't see anyone getting laid playing Galaga.

    Just take a look at this picture I snapped earlier today, on the internet:



    What do you see here?

    I'll tell you what I see. I see people about to get laid because they're good at Skeeball.
    I would post the picture I took after the game ended, but everyone was already naked and having sex.

    Don't believe me? Just take a look at this picture of people playing pinball.



    I probably don't have to tell you this, but both of these guys have been laid <.75 times in their life, combined, rounding up.

    Jut think: do you want to be a pinball loser all your life and never get laid, or be a Skeeball champion and get laid regularly by hot chicks?
    It's your choice proteanmix.

  6. #6
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    I just walk up the ramp and toss the ball in the center hole.

    Tickets please.

  7. #7
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatsWhatHeSaid View Post

    Jut think: do you want to be a pinball loser all your life and never get laid, or be a Skeeball champion and get laid regularly by hot chicks?
    It's your choice proteanmix.
    I don't know, I was approached by some Battle Pong, Snake, and a Yeti telemarketer and their players were pretty hot and sweaty before the game even started. Especially those snake people. I was handed a tube of KY Jelly and rings at the sign up sheet.

  8. #8
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uberfuhrer View Post
    I just walk up the ramp and toss the ball in the center hole.

    Tickets please.
    And you're a virgin, I'm guessing?


    You know, my dear friend, people come up to me all the time and ask me how I beat FMW's previous high score of 1720. "How did you do it?" "How did you score 1960 in one friggin' round of skeeball?" "How did you get so fucking sexy?"

    You know what I tell them?

    First I tell them to put their clothes back on.

    Then I tell them to forget everything they (think they) know about Skeeball.

    Then I tell them to buy my free course in Skeeball fundamentals for only $74.99.

  9. #9
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    I don't know, I was approached by some Battle Pong, Snake, and a Yeti telemarketer and their players were pretty hot and sweaty before the game even started.
    I'm guessing they were hanging out with Skeeball champions just before you saw them.

    I was handed a tube of KY Jelly and rings at the sign up sheet.
    Funny.

    I've never handed out tubes of KY Jelly.

    Do you know why, proteanmix?

    It's because I'm too busy using it myself.

  10. #10
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    This man is a god at Chuck E. Cheese.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

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