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  1. #41

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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    Getting all literal with my epigram. Very nice!
    I rock small talk

  2. #42
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfy View Post
    I rock small talk
    I googled the founding of Rome. It's very interesting - I didn't realize there are many different myths about when and how. Some websites say the date is 21 April 753 BC.

    Who says small talk doesn't take you anywhere?
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  3. #43

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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    I googled the founding of Rome. It's very interesting - I didn't realize there are many different myths about when and how. Some websites say the date is 21 April 753 BC.

    Who says small talk doesn't take you anywhere?
    I was born April 21

  4. #44
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
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    You could get around small talk by looking like a complete dick, like wearing a giant walking dick costume, all of the time. Just an idea.

  5. #45
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    Well, here's the thing - who will be the first person to talk "real"? I have watched a lot of people in my day and listened to many make this same grievance. Yet I do not observe them "getting real" in conversation either. I do not see them taking any risks and being any more themselves than the people they complain about.

    So, idk - is real conversation truly a preference? .
    I try I fucking try but when I say what's on my mind I get looks at like i'm a moron or crazy. like the other day I was walking and I was cursing to myself because my shoes were making my feet bleed and this guy gave me a look like i was completely insane. I want to talk about things and I try and people laugh shut me down or just ignore me.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  6. #46
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfy View Post
    I was born April 21
    That's my son's birthday too. He's an ESFP and you're an ISFP ... coincidence? Hmmm...

    You are both born on the cusp between Aries and Taurus ... which do you relate more to?
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  7. #47
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    I try I fucking try but when I say what's on my mind I get looks at like i'm a moron or crazy. like the other day I was walking and I was cursing to myself because my shoes were making my feet bleed and this guy gave me a look like i was completely insane. I want to talk about things and I try and people laugh shut me down or just ignore me.
    Yes, that sucks. I'm glad though that you try to talk about the things that matter to you. People are often uncomfortable with stuff outside the everyday chit-chat, especially if they don't know you well.

    I don't have a simple answer for that, but if you want, I'll talk more about it. Let me know.
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  8. #48
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    Small talk in church situations can usually flow readily by remarking on aspects of the service that you just attended. Pay attention to the service to give you a couple of things primed and ready in your mind.
    I like to take this to a philosophical level, and as noted below, people will either go with it or be weirded out & leave you alone. So win-win!

    Quote Originally Posted by Forever_Jung View Post
    I usually find a way to make the conversation offbeat and humorous, because I don't know how to do regular small-talk. On a busy day at work, I'll spend a lot of time as a cashier, and I learned just to free-associate and take the tedious conversations into novel places. Have you ever tried kinda leading with your Ne and letting that zany charm shine through? I find you quite the ticklish conversationalist, myself.
    I was so extremely shy as a teen that I could scared to go to stores & buy stuff because of fear of interacting with the cashier. So many can very rude.... So when I worked as a cashier in college, I made effort to be friendly to customers, because I did not want to make them feel punished & uncomfortable. A lot of the regulars liked me, finding me more sweet & shy than aloof, as I'm often interpreted. I have to channel that side of me more. It definitely involves free association and observations on anything striking. I would comment a lot on stuff like a person's watch and what it reminded me of, etc.

    If I am feeling less inhibited and not in the mood to accommodate much, then I'll use less filter with the Ne imaginative connections and not worry about weirding people out. They will either love it and I've found a friend, or they'll make a quick exit and I'll have my peace again.

    My tip for small talk is to make someone else feel special & interesting, not focusing on how you feel. It may not be massively interesting to do so, but leaving others with a good feeling will make you feel good, even if you're particularly ornery :P.

    I have an e9 INFP friend who is great at this, and she strikes conversations up all the time that go quickly from small talk to more introspective topics because she starts by lowering people's guards by making them feel special and interesting. My ex bf's mom, a sort of adopted mom for me, is an ENFP and is even better at this. The content of the conversation may not be meaningful, but the affect is, and it's really all in her emotional response to people.

    I struggle with this due to not feeling significant enough to impact others, like I don't have much to give. But when I get past that, it's not too difficult to leave people with that special feeling, which makes the small talk feel worth the energy.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  9. #49
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    Yes, that sucks. I'm glad though that you try to talk about the things that matter to you. People are often uncomfortable with stuff outside the everyday chit-chat, especially if they don't know you well.

    I don't have a simple answer for that, but if you want, I'll talk more about it. Let me know.
    yeah it justs proves my point that people are liars. people are like oh I love weird shit then when you present them with the weird shit they get uncomfortable. so really it doesn't matter. because people just say stuff, and most of the time it's bs they just want to look pretty. so nothing to talk about.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  10. #50

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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    That's my son's birthday too. He's an ESFP and you're an ISFP ... coincidence? Hmmm...

    You are both born on the cusp between Aries and Taurus ... which do you relate more to?
    The cusp description if I remember, I am not much for horoscopes. I am isfp/istp cusp too. lol

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