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Thread: The groan worthy joke thread

  1. #71
    Male Array johnnyyukon's Avatar
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    Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"
    I've had this ice cream bar, since I was a child!

    Each thought's completely warped
    I'm like a walkin', talkin', ouija board.
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  2. #72
    hey ma! got a tatoo Array prplchknz's Avatar
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    by @magpie

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    Alma Array five sounds's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    looks like bugs
    You hem me in -- behind and before;
    you have laid your hand upon me.
    Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.


  4. #74
    hey ma! got a tatoo Array prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by five sounds View Post
    looks like bugs
    you look like bugs
    by @magpie

  5. #75
    Alma Array five sounds's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    you look like bugs
    You hem me in -- behind and before;
    you have laid your hand upon me.
    Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.


  6. #76
    hey ma! got a tatoo Array prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by five sounds View Post
    narcisist
    by @magpie

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    Why did the skeleton go to the party alone? He had no body to go with.
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    FRACTALICIOUS Array phobik's Avatar
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    Why did shy guy buy camuflage condoms? So he's never seen cumming.
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    Happy Dancer Array uumlau's Avatar
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    Two friends, one from the Czech Republic and the other from Russia, were hiking in the forests of Eastern Europe. Sadly, they encountered a couple of bears and were killed. Search parties finally found evidence of the attack, and hunted down the bears and shot them, one male, one female. With a bit more work they discovered that the bears had eaten the hikers.

    "Oh, no," one fellow said.
    "What?" asked another.
    "I found the remains of the Russian in the female. Do you know what that MEANS?!"
    "Um, that female bears like Russians?"
    "No, you idiot. This is much worse."
    "How much worse?"
    "It means the Czech is in the male."
    An argument is two people sharing their ignorance.

    A discussion is two people sharing their understanding, even when they disagree.
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    Spreadsheet Samurai Array Alaska's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by uumlau View Post
    Two friends, one from the Czech Republic and the other from Russia, were hiking in the forests of Eastern Europe. Sadly, they encountered a couple of bears and were killed. Search parties finally found evidence of the attack, and hunted down the bears and shot them, one male, one female. With a bit more work they discovered that the bears had eaten the hikers.

    "Oh, no," one fellow said.
    "What?" asked another.
    "I found the remains of the Russian in the female. Do you know what that MEANS?!"
    "Um, that female bears like Russians?"
    "No, you idiot. This is much worse."
    "How much worse?"
    "It means the Czech is in the male."
    I like massive shaggy dog stories - the longer, more well-written and plotted leading up to the pun ending, the better. It's oddly gratifying to see something so elaborate amount to something so small and silly, in a sand mandala kind of way.
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