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Thread: The groan worthy joke thread

  1. #171
    raised from perdition Array EJCC's Avatar
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    and it's nice enough to
    make a man
    weep, but I don't
    weep, do
    you?

    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    lawful good (D&D) / ravenclaw or gryffindor (HP) / boros legion (M:TG)
    conscientious > sensitive > serious (oldham)
    want to ask me something? go for it!
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  2. #172
    .~ *aĉa virino* ~. Array Totenkindly's Avatar
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    I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.
    It's something I could really see myself doing.


    A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then *poof* … he disappeared without a tres!


    What's colourful and smart?
    A brainbow!


    Why did the tomato blush?
    Because it saw the salad dressing!


    What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison?
    A small medium at large!


    Why don't blind people go skydiving?
    Because it scares their dogs too much.


    Two muffins were sitting in an oven.
    One turned to the other and said "Hey, it's pretty hot in here, isn't it?"
    The other turned and shouted "Oh my god a talking muffin!"


    What's Forrest Gump's email password?
    1forrest1


    Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
    Because gorillas have big fingers.


    What's red and bad for your teeth?
    A brick


    A friend of mine died recently after drinking a gallon of varnish.
    It was a horrible end, but a lovely finish.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  3. #173
    hey ma! got a tatoo Array prplchknz's Avatar
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    by @magpie
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  4. #174
    hey ma! got a tatoo Array prplchknz's Avatar
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    what did the viagra say to the benedryl?



    - - - Updated - - -

    what did the viagra say to the benedryl?

    by @magpie

  5. #175
    hey ma! got a tatoo Array prplchknz's Avatar
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    by @magpie
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  6. #176
    FRACTALICIOUS Array phobik's Avatar
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    To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
    ~ Elbert Hubbard

    Music provides one of the clearest examples of a much deeper relation between mathematics and human experience.

  7. #177
    Reptilian dane Array Hive's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    I FEEL ALRIGHT
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  8. #178
    Member Array Frosty's Avatar
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    What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?

    A stick.


  9. #179
    Happy Dancer Array uumlau's Avatar
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    An argument is two people sharing their ignorance.

    A discussion is two people sharing their understanding, even when they disagree.
    Likes Olm the Water King liked this post

  10. #180
    hey ma! got a tatoo Array prplchknz's Avatar
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    by @magpie
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