I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.
It's something I could really see myself doing.
A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then *poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
What's colourful and smart?
Why did the tomato blush?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison?
A small medium at large!
Why don't blind people go skydiving?
Because it scares their dogs too much.
Two muffins were sitting in an oven.
One turned to the other and said "Hey, it's pretty hot in here, isn't it?"
The other turned and shouted "Oh my god a talking muffin!"
What's Forrest Gump's email password?
Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because gorillas have big fingers.
What's red and bad for your teeth?
A friend of mine died recently after drinking a gallon of varnish.
It was a horrible end, but a lovely finish.
"Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"
“Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft