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Thread: The groan worthy joke thread

  1. #151
    The Typing Tabby Array grey_beard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by uumlau View Post
    Yeah, that's sometimes the trouble with puns.

    Once I performed a stage show that was nothing but puns.
    Yah, similar to the reason I never took up stamp collecting.
    "Love never needs time. But friendship always needs time. More and more and more time, up to long past midnight." -- The Crime of Captain Gahagan

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  2. #152
    The Typing Tabby Array grey_beard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by uumlau View Post
    I don't trust stairs.
    To paraphrase an *old* Mad Magazine book ("The Mad Adventures of Captain Klutz") --

    "I entered the building and went up to the second floor."


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    Quote Originally Posted by GarrotTheThief View Post
    the other day I forgot to put my pants on and the neighbor thought i had four legs.
    Did you hear about the man with 5 penises?

    "Love never needs time. But friendship always needs time. More and more and more time, up to long past midnight." -- The Crime of Captain Gahagan

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  3. #153
    The Typing Tabby Array grey_beard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    A favorite that I learned from The West Wing:

    Three statisticians go deer-hunting. The first one misses ten feet to the left, the second one misses ten feet to the right. The third one jumps up and down and says "I hit it!"
    Did you hear about the statistician who drowned crossing a river that averaged three feet deep?

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by uumlau View Post
    Did you hear about that guy who got cooled down to absolute zero?!

    He's 0K now.
    If I were a mod, I'd tempban you for that one!
    "Love never needs time. But friendship always needs time. More and more and more time, up to long past midnight." -- The Crime of Captain Gahagan

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  4. #154
    The Typing Tabby Array grey_beard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by uumlau View Post
    Logic, eh? Try this on for size.


    This also implies that the majority of men have an above number of testicles.

    Which brings to mind *this* gem.

    What comes from outer space and has 3 balls?
    "Love never needs time. But friendship always needs time. More and more and more time, up to long past midnight." -- The Crime of Captain Gahagan

    Please comment on my johari / nohari pages.

  5. #155
    The Typing Tabby Array grey_beard's Avatar
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    Three Frenchmen were practicing their English.
    Conversation turned to the fact the one Frenchman just could NOT get his wife pregnant.

    The first Frenchman sighed. "She's impenetrable, I guess."
    The second Frenchman disagrees. "Mais non, mon ami, she's impregnable."
    The last Frenchman looks at them haughtily. "You are both wrong. She's inconceivable."

    "Love never needs time. But friendship always needs time. More and more and more time, up to long past midnight." -- The Crime of Captain Gahagan

    Please comment on my johari / nohari pages.

  6. #156
    hyggelig Array EJCC's Avatar
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    Courtesy of my INTJ choir director. We were about to start a piece, but he stopped us, checked his watch, then took it off and held it up to us and said: "I got the most amazing watch. One of the hands ticks at EXACTLY sixty beats per minute! I HAD to have it!"
    and it's nice enough to
    make a man
    weep, but I don't
    weep, do
    you?

    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
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    want to ask me something? go for it!

  7. #157
    Happy Dancer Array uumlau's Avatar
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    An argument is two people sharing their ignorance.

    A discussion is two people sharing their understanding, even when they disagree.

  8. #158
    Listening Array Oaky's Avatar
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    Likes prplchknz, EJCC, Cellmold, Forever liked this post

  9. #159
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    To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
    ~ Elbert Hubbard

    Music provides one of the clearest examples of a much deeper relation between mathematics and human experience.

  10. #160
    hey ma! got a tatoo Array prplchknz's Avatar
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    not mine:

    Why did the hipster burn his mouth on the piece of pizza?

    by @magpie
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