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Thread: The groan worthy joke thread

  1. #121
    FRACTALICIOUS Array phobik's Avatar
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    What do you call a fake noodle?


    Can February March?


    How many tickles to make an octopus laugh?


    Why did the can crushes quick it's job?


    Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize?


    What do vegetarian zombies eat?
    To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
    ~ Elbert Hubbard

    Music provides one of the clearest examples of a much deeper relation between mathematics and human experience.
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  2. #122
    Happy Dancer Array uumlau's Avatar
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    A programmer's wife asked him, "Honey, could you go to the store and get a gallon of milk? And if they have eggs, get a dozen."
    The programmer returns with 12 gallons of milk.
    "Why the hell did you buy 12 gallons of milk?!?!"
    "Because they had eggs!"
    An argument is two people sharing their ignorance.

    A discussion is two people sharing their understanding, even when they disagree.
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  3. #123
    FRACTALICIOUS Array phobik's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by uumlau View Post
    A programmer's wife asked him, "Honey, could you go to the store and get a gallon of milk? And if they have eggs, get a dozen."
    The programmer returns with 12 gallons of milk.
    "Why the hell did you buy 12 gallons of milk?!?!"
    "Because they had eggs!"
    Bad logic.
    To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
    ~ Elbert Hubbard

    Music provides one of the clearest examples of a much deeper relation between mathematics and human experience.

  4. #124
    Happy Dancer Array uumlau's Avatar
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    Logic, eh? Try this on for size.

    An argument is two people sharing their ignorance.

    A discussion is two people sharing their understanding, even when they disagree.

  5. #125
    hey ma! got a tatoo Array prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by uumlau View Post
    A programmer's wife asked him, "Honey, could you go to the store and get a gallon of milk? And if they have eggs, get a dozen."
    The programmer returns with 12 gallons of milk.
    "Why the hell did you buy 12 gallons of milk?!?!"
    "Because they had eggs!"
    Quote Originally Posted by phobik View Post
    Bad logic.
    not really, because the wife said get milk, and if they have eggs get a dozen. she doesn't say get a dozen of eggs or a dozen of milk, the reason you're saying it's bad logic is because you're adding language expectations to it (not the phrase i'm looking for but i'm old right now so deal with it) she never specifies get a dozen of what, so he goes to the store sees they have eggs and gets 12 gallons of milk. if the store was out of eggs he would have only gotten one.
    by @magpie

  6. #126
    Suave y Fuerte Array BadOctopus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phobik View Post
    Why is no one friends with Dracula?
    And because he sucks.
    WOOP WOOP WOOP
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  7. #127
    FRACTALICIOUS Array phobik's Avatar
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    To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
    ~ Elbert Hubbard

    Music provides one of the clearest examples of a much deeper relation between mathematics and human experience.

  8. #128
    hyggelig Array EJCC's Avatar
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    and it's nice enough to
    make a man
    weep, but I don't
    weep, do
    you?

    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    lawful good (D&D) / ravenclaw or gryffindor (HP) / boros legion (M:TG)
    conscientious > sensitive > serious (oldham)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  9. #129
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Prince Harry, Harry Potter, and... a thirteen-year-old girl?

  10. #130
    Suave y Fuerte Array BadOctopus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 93JC View Post
    Prince Harry, Harry Potter, and... a thirteen-year-old girl?
    My first thought was, "She couldn't find the time to shave, but she had the time to print and cut out all those pictures and stick them to her leg?"
    WOOP WOOP WOOP

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