I have no complaints, which is itself a complaint.
Lol well thank you guys
I do try to be unoffensive which I know has its ups and downs in and of itself.
Originally Posted by Lady X
very un enfplike to ask to be insulted...so my complaint is that you're totally going to make people think enfps like that shiz.
Originally Posted by Lady X
yeah maybe...i can take a bit of non judgmental sharing of perception but insults yeah not so much...or if i'm being totally honest...really probably don't want negative feedback at all unless it's work related or something.
For whatever reason this grid bothers me less than direct hand-written feedback would, I think. Its structure forces it to be less personal... it shows me information I might not know and can work on but it doesn't put me on the defensive. I know that one of my biggest challenges is not being reactive, and the Nohari feels like a mediated buffer area where I can work on that.
I've definitely had a few work experiences lately that have made it easier for me to endure criticism... for me to start taking it in context given the person and the situation and to freak out less about it. At this point I basically feel like most people are going to have some negative opinions on me, and they're going to express them publicly from time to time. We're all individuals and see things through our personal lenses, and some people are just not compatible with each other in general. If anything, those who see my flaws and can express them in a way that is constructive are a boon to me. I guess I have been scared about being misrepresented, but a wise INTP pointed out to me that individuals have their own reasoning faculties and will separate the wheat from the chaff themselves. Focusing on improving my own actions is what is most important to me.
Originally Posted by Misty
You are a braver woman than I.
Well, thank you for the compliment. I feel like this is a very small step forward... lots of "padding"... but still a step, nevertheless.
Originally Posted by Saudade
That's because she's an ESFP. ; )
I do still appreciate the feedback, but still for the life of me cannot see myself as Se dominant!
Originally Posted by Chanaynay
I can't I love you too much!
Also whenever I get Nohari feedback I assume it's a hater since they're always anonymous (except my ISFP bestie). It's interesting when you get back words you wouldn't expect. Humorless? Me? Someone must have had a problem with me. Someone also called me unimaginative and vacuous, I have no idea where those came from either. Maybe I'm just the forum's go-to ditzy character.
I suppose I could see vacuous as being related to how you are light and happy and bubbly, but I cannot see humorless or unimaginative at all. That is a significant flaw of the Nohari grid - unfortunately there is no way to separate out spam.
Originally Posted by Z Buck McFate
Complaint: I did do your nohari, and you never return nohari'ed me. (It's not showing up on your nohari link, so I assume you've actually created a new nohari since then.)
I wish more people would do the nohari thing too. It's not helpful if no one does it.
IRT both of these - yes, Z Buck, I did have one and I do remember you responding on it! I apologize for not having Nohari'ed you in return and will do that now. I deleted it for the same reason as @Chanaynay, which is that I believe it got spammed because suddenly one day it had a huge amount of very random feedback with names attached like "alsjferhngfdljg" and "ooooooooo" and so on. It skewed the data so badly that all I could see to do was toss it, even though I regret having discarded genuine feedback like yours. Baby with the bathwater maybe, but I wanted a fresh start.
Like you said though, unfortunately it is useless if no one responds. I suppose being asked to give criticism is not something people are generally used to or necessarily want to deal with. Have you felt like yours has been helpful overall?
Originally Posted by Amargith
The man has a point
Edit: done. Those words are a wee bit harsh to my liking though, so if you need clarification as to how I mean them, feel free to ask.
Thank you so much! Actually they all seem reasonable and understandable to me. If you desire clarifying any, you are welcome to, either here or via VM/PM.
Originally Posted by prplchknz
you don't illicit strong feelings in me one way or another
Thank you for the feedback.
Originally Posted by decrescendo
You consider yourself hostile?
In my head, I am far more hostile to some than I come across in communication. That is not true for the most part on the boards because the internet is a less consequential place to begin with. But IRL, I am somewhat harsh on those who have inflict damage and who fail to see their own harmful behavior patterns. I am afraid that one of my real dominant flaws is being critical in my head or behind their back but kind and accommodating to their face. I struggle to not empathize deeply when I am present with them, and feel in synchrony when we are present together. I adapt to the other without even thinking about it. But when I am away from them, I tend to look more objectively, and may voice criticality in a way that I would not when with them out of the interest of helping them. To some extent all people do this but I feel like I am at very personal level more elitist than I come across, and I need to work on that.
Originally Posted by CapLawyer
You probably project.
Indeed, I probably do. I would welcome feedback on what I project and how, if you had anything to detail, but appreciate this feedback as it stands regardless.