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  1. #1
    Theta Male Julius_Van_Der_Beak's Avatar
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    Default Why don't women bake muffins anymore?

    I'm upset because my mom never baked muffins more when I was a kid. All my issues can be traced to that.

    Women, why do you hate men and not bake muffins?
    [Trump's] rhetoric is not an abuse of power. In the same way that it's also not against the law to do a backflip off of the roof of your house onto your concrete driveway. It's just mind-numbingly stupid and, to say the least, counterproductive. - Bush did 9-11


    This is not going to go the way you think....

    Visit my Johari:
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  2. #2
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    I bake muffins and so does my mom.

    Sucks to be you I guess.

  3. #3
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Basic Muffins Recipe

    The key to making great muffins is not overmixing the batter. Once the liquid ingredients are added to the dry, mix the batter by hand just until the flour is moistened, for no more than about ten seconds. Too much mixing can cause the muffins to be dry, tough or misshapen.

    And if you want to spruce your muffins up a little bit, here's a recipe for a cinnamon streusel topping you can mix up in just a few seconds.
    Prep Time: 15 minutes

    Cook Time: 20 minutes

    Total Time: 35 minutes

    Ingredients:

    2 cups all-purpose flour, or 2¼ cups pastry flour, sifted
    ½ cup granulated sugar
    1 Tbsp baking powder
    ½ tsp salt
    1 cup whole milk
    1 tsp pure vanilla extract
    1 large egg (or 2 medium)
    4 oz butter (½ stick) or shortening
    Preparation:

    Preheat oven to 400° F.

    Combine the flour, baking powder and salt.

    Unwrap the butter and heat it in the microwave, in a microwave-safe bowl, for about a minute, until it's thoroughly melted. Set it aside at room temperature to cool, but don't let it solidify again.

    Beat the eggs in a separate bowl and then add the sugar, milk and vanilla to the eggs.

    Thoroughly grease and flour a muffin pan (or use paper muffin liners).

    Pour a tiny bit of the melted butter into the egg-vanilla-milk mixture and stir it in. Repeat 3-4 more times, adding a slightly larger amount of the liquid butter each time until it is all incorporated.

    IMPORTANT: Don't add hot melted butter to the egg mixture as the heat from the butter would cook the egg, and that's not what you want to do!

    Add the liquid ingredients to the dry ones and mix no more than ten seconds. The batter should be visibly lumpy, and you may see pockets of dry flour. That's OK! It's extremely important not to overmix the batter, or the resulting muffins will be too hard.

    Gently pour the batter into the prepared muffin pan and bake immediately.

    TIP: The dry and wet ingredients, respectively, can be mixed in advance, but as soon as the wet and dry ingredients have been combined with each other, the liquid will activate the baking powder and the batter must be baked right away.

    Bake 20 minutes or until a toothpick inserted into the center of a muffin comes out clean.


    Source: http://culinaryarts.about.com/od/bak...ainmuffins.htm
    There ya go, big boy. Knock yourself out
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  4. #4
    Entertaining Cracker five sounds's Avatar
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    You can bake some muffins man. It's so easy a woman could do it.
    You hem me in -- behind and before;
    you have laid your hand upon me.
    Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

  5. #5
    Temporal Mechanic. Lexicon's Avatar
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    (an INTP-friendly recipe)
    03/23 06:06:58 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:06:59 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:21:34 Nancynobullets: LEXXX *sacrifices a first born*
    03/23 06:21:53 Nancynobullets: We summon yooouuu
    03/23 06:29:07 Lexicon: I was sleeping!



    04/25 04:20:35 Patches: Don't listen to lex. She wants to birth a litter of kittens. She doesnt get to decide whats creepy

    02/16 23:49:38 ygolo: Lex is afk
    02/16 23:49:45 Cimarron: she's doing drugs with Jack

    03/05 19:27:41 Time: You can't make chat morbid. Lex does it naturally.

  6. #6
    Theta Male Julius_Van_Der_Beak's Avatar
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    But this is what women are for. Funny, women want to show their wrists in public, but they don't want to bake muffins. Hypocrisy. Bake in the day, women used to bake muffins. Now they don't. Sometimes they bake cupcakes, but cupcakes suck. Cupcakes are just cake tricking men into thinking they are muffins. And under no circumstances should they be consumed at breakfast.

    Every relationship I've been in has been a disaster due to the lack of muffins.
    [Trump's] rhetoric is not an abuse of power. In the same way that it's also not against the law to do a backflip off of the roof of your house onto your concrete driveway. It's just mind-numbingly stupid and, to say the least, counterproductive. - Bush did 9-11


    This is not going to go the way you think....

    Visit my Johari:
    http://kevan.org/johari?name=Birddude78

  7. #7
    Entertaining Cracker five sounds's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by msg_v2 View Post
    But this is what women are for. Funny, women want to show their wrists in public, but they don't want to bake muffins. Hypocrisy.

    Every relationship I've been in has been a disaster due to the lack of muffins.
    Well at least you were getting some sweet wrist action
    You hem me in -- behind and before;
    you have laid your hand upon me.
    Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

  8. #8
    Temporal Mechanic. Lexicon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by msg_v2 View Post
    But this is what women are for. Funny, women want to show their wrists in public, but they don't want to bake muffins. Hypocrisy.

    Every relationship I've been in has been a disaster due to the lack of muffins.

    Well you should have been a good provider & supplied your womenfolk with the proper kitchen, kitchen utensils, & ingredients, right?
    Don't forget the floral apron & elbow-high rubber gloves to protect those delicate hands from dish soap after.


    (sadly, I do own a floral apron)
    03/23 06:06:58 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:06:59 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:21:34 Nancynobullets: LEXXX *sacrifices a first born*
    03/23 06:21:53 Nancynobullets: We summon yooouuu
    03/23 06:29:07 Lexicon: I was sleeping!



    04/25 04:20:35 Patches: Don't listen to lex. She wants to birth a litter of kittens. She doesnt get to decide whats creepy

    02/16 23:49:38 ygolo: Lex is afk
    02/16 23:49:45 Cimarron: she's doing drugs with Jack

    03/05 19:27:41 Time: You can't make chat morbid. Lex does it naturally.

  9. #9
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    I think you missed the update where they expanded the package on what women's abilities are. You should shop for the muffin-baking variety at your local RealDolls-R-us. I hear you can create your very own these days, specifically tailored to your needs
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  10. #10
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    Default

    I like baking muffins.

    Just not for you.

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