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  1. #61
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lunareclipze View Post
    I just told her about my plans for plastic surgery and she said I was vain and shallow and then said "is this really the person you want to become?"
    Ah. It would be nice if she would have focused on your self-image concerns, instead of trying to shame you out of desiring plastic surgery.

    -_- I just don't want to be called ugly every single place I go in broad daylight.
    I can't help but to think we were in similar boats.

    I remember when I was in high school I used to think the same thing. Literally. I can thank family and a couple of key experiences for this, but that's another story. Every time I saw a girl laughing I just KNEW they were laughing at me. The pointing. The stares. Comments on my nose (we share big noses) or ears.

    The thing is, I look at pictures of me in high school, and I was actually perfectly normal looking, perhaps even good looking to the women who liked a 6'2", black haired, blue eyed, large nosed, kinda big eared, fairly athletic soccer goalie build. But I had (and still likely have) body dismporphia. In my eyes, I was a hideous monster. Every day that I dealed with people the evidence of my hideousness just mounted higher and higher. I considered myself so ugly that I noticed every time a girl thought I was weird looking (thanks to el nose-o and los ears-o), and even likely misinterpreted occasional interest for dismissal. Meanwhile, any potential positive sign was either filtered out, down played, or I simply assumed the other person didn't have good taste or felt pity upon me.

    Now... I won't insult your intelligence by saying that you aren't a 1.5/10 when I've never met or seen you. However, please take a moment and check out the video below:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iAuc2xAM7-8

  2. #62
    Senior Member lunareclipze's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rasofy View Post
    Judging by the 'dat ass' comment, I assume you have a fairly attractive body, which should grant you 4/10 in the worst case scenario.
    I don't though. I think they were just joking around. I'm not fat but my stomach is flabby because I don't exercise much and I admit I eat a lot of junk. My measurements are like 32-25-36 -_- I'm 5'2" and I weigh 130 pounds
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  3. #63
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rasofy View Post
    Judging by the 'dat ass' comment, I assume you have a fairly attractive body, which should grant you 4/10 in the worst case scenario.
    Unfortunately, the 'dat ass' comment doesn't help things. As a guy, we read a comment like that and think "Well, her buttocks must be of superior structure and quality to elicit such comments", and she should take that as a compliment. Remember though, these are guys sexually objectifying her in a hostile, demeaning way. Her body is being used as an excuse to treat her poorly, which often adds to the shame she already feels.

    These guys did her no favor, and such a comment probably hurt her self-esteem even more, despite the inherent positive notion buried 1000 layers deep.

  4. #64
    Senior Member lunareclipze's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    Ah. It would be nice if she would have focused on your self-image concerns, instead of trying to shame you out of desiring plastic surgery.



    I can't help but to think we were in similar boats.

    I remember when I was in high school I used to think the same thing. Literally. I can thank family and a couple of key experiences for this, but that's another story. Every time I saw a girl laughing I just KNEW they were laughing at me. The pointing. The stares. Comments on my nose (we share big noses) or ears.

    The thing is, I look at pictures of me in high school, and I was actually perfectly normal looking, perhaps even good looking to the women who liked a 6'2", black haired, blue eyed, large nosed, kinda big eared, fairly athletic soccer goalie build. But I had (and still likely have) body dismporphia. In my eyes, I was a hideous monster. Every day that I dealed with people the evidence of my hideousness just mounted higher and higher. I considered myself so ugly that I noticed every time a girl thought I was weird looking (thanks to el nose-o and los ears-o), and even likely misinterpreted occasional interest for dismissal. Meanwhile, any potential positive sign was either filtered out, down played, or I simply assumed the other person didn't have good taste or felt pity upon me.

    Now... I won't insult your intelligence by saying that you aren't a 1.5/10 when I've never met or seen you. However, please take a moment and check out the video below:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iAuc2xAM7-8
    Nobody ever says anything nice about me. I'll just be walking in a store and some chick was like "she's f**king ugly," while she was with what I take to be her boyfriend and they just started laughing. Three times old men (yes, all 3 times it was old men for some reason) have chuckled into my face. I walk into Wendy's to get dinner with my brother and i hear a bunch of guys laugh as soon as I walk in and hear a remark like "she should get the sausage.." (yeah.. seriously)
    I just stay inside now -_-
    MBTI: ISFP
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    - Kurt Cobain

  5. #65
    philosopher wood nymph greenfairy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lunareclipze View Post
    I don't though. I think they were just joking around. I'm not fat but my stomach is flabby because I don't exercise much and I admit I eat a lot of junk. My measurements are like 32-25-36 -_- I'm 5'2" and I weigh 130 pounds
    Those are pretty much my exact measurements, and I'm 5'6. I weigh 105 though and I'm skinny, and even though women in this society are taught that skinny is the only right way to be, a lot of men actually prefer women who aren't. You can find haters and people who love the way you look, no matter your body shape. And that is a good body at 5'2; you have a good waist to hip ratio, which is what studies have shown is most desirable to men across the globe.

    What you said about exercising and eating junk is one of your problems; instead of getting doctors to try to fix your problem, take responsibility for how you treat your body. Virtually no one who is fit and has a good diet is what anyone would consider really ugly, and exercising doesn't cost anything. Take your extra money and buy some organic whole foods. I was going to suggest joining a gym, but you say there are a lot of jerks who insult you there; so I would suggest going for walks and jogs in forested parks instead. Exercise also helps mood, and if you become physically strong you likely will develop higher self esteem. Or you could take a martial arts class, and kick anyone's butt who hates on you!

  6. #66
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    this is ridiculously hard for me to believe. i'm no spring chicken and have been out in the world so very much and not once have i seen anyone doing this sort of thing to someone else...outside of like 5th grade.

    what kind of place do you live in? please help me wrap my head around it.

  7. #67
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lunareclipze View Post
    Nobody ever says anything nice about me. I'll just be walking in a store and some chick was like "she's f**king ugly," while she was with what I take to be her boyfriend and they just started laughing. Three times old men (yes, all 3 times it was old men for some reason) have chuckled into my face. I walk into Wendy's to get dinner with my brother and i hear a bunch of guys laugh as soon as I walk in and hear a remark like "she should get the sausage.." (yeah.. seriously)
    I just stay inside now -_-
    No one ever said anything nice about me either. Or if they did, I failed to notice it. My mom would tell me that people would point at me and say, "look at the foolish, ugly kid that forgot to clean under his nails", or whatever thing she wanted to shame me into doing.

    It was only in hindsight, 12 years after the fact, that I can see it. I'm sort of hoping that you can be smarter and wiser than I was at your age, and acknowledge that body dismorphic disorder could be affecting you as well. I'll understand if you can't, though.

    Please take a moment to watch the video. Or, if it's easier, here's an article on body dysmorphic disorder: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_dysmorphic_disorder

    Also, "she should get the sausage" isn't an insult that you are ugly - they are saying they want to have sex with you. Which is demeaning and awful in it's own way, just not in a "you're ugly" way.

  8. #68
    royal member Rasofy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    Unfortunately, the 'dat ass' comment doesn't help things. As a guy, we read a comment like that and think "Well, her buttocks must be of superior structure and quality to elicit such comments", and she should take that as a compliment. Remember though, these are guys sexually objectifying her in a hostile, demeaning way. Her body is being used as an excuse to treat her poorly, which often adds to the shame she already feels.

    These guys did her no favor, and such a comment probably hurt her self-esteem even more, despite the inherent positive notion buried 1000 layers deep.
    I'm not making a moral evaluation that's not gonna change anything (I leave that to you FPs), I'm merely deriving possible conclusions from the information presented.
    -----------------

    A man builds. A parasite asks 'Where is my share?'
    A man creates. A parasite says, 'What will the neighbors think?'
    A man invents. A parasite says, 'Watch out, or you might tread on the toes of God... '


    -----------------

  9. #69
    Senior Member lunareclipze's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    No one ever said anything nice about me either. Or if they did, I failed to notice it. My mom would tell me that people would point at me and say, "look at the foolish, ugly kid that forgot to clean under his nails", or whatever thing she wanted to shame me into doing.

    It was only in hindsight, 12 years after the fact, that I can see it. I'm sort of hoping that you can be smarter and wiser than I was at your age, and acknowledge that body dismorphic disorder could be affecting you as well. I'll understand if you can't, though.

    Please take a moment to watch the video. Or, if it's easier, here's an article on body dysmorphic disorder: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_dysmorphic_disorder

    Also, "she should get the sausage" isn't an insult that you are ugly - they are saying they want to have sex with you. Which is demeaning and awful in it's own way, just not in a "you're ugly" way.
    I thought it was a way of saying I probably couldn't "get any," if I tried. Why would they all laugh their asses off and say that.
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  10. #70
    Senior Member lunareclipze's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    this is ridiculously hard for me to believe. i'm no spring chicken and have been out in the world so very much and not once have i seen anyone doing this sort of thing to someone else...outside of like 5th grade.

    what kind of place do you live in? please help me wrap my head around it.
    The trashiest area in my whole entire city. (Both the people and the aesthetics) If I lived where i used to live in my old city I don't think I'd get half the nastiness I do in this end.
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    " I don't have the passion anymore, and so remember it's better to burn out than to fade away"
    - Kurt Cobain

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