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  1. #21
    Let me count the ways Betty Blue's Avatar
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    For an extrovert I can be incredibly asocial.

    In the last month I have engaged in one night out (actually the only one in several months), two coffee's with friends, have invited zero guests to my home and visited family members on three occaisions.

    I prob would not have done half of those if not leaned on. The family visits were more an effort for the children.
    "We knew he was someone who had a tragic flaw, that's where his greatness came from"

  2. #22
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    Oh my god. There's way too much Ti nitpicking in this thread.

    Why do you ask @Mal+ ? Do you think it is unusual that woman be anti-social? Do you find anti-social women interesting?
    INFP 4w5 so/sp

    I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas;
    they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.

    - Emily Bronte

  3. #23
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    I have limited social energy. I never had a close friend besides my sister until one or two roommates in college, but those friendships ended when we no longer roomed together. My social interactions are limited to my husband, sister, and mother, online, and structured rehearsals and teaching. When stressed my first fantasy is to teach entirely online, live in a cabin next door to my husband, and become an isolated hermit. Fortunately for me, my husband is similar and his people interactions are primarily at work. He lived alone up here on the mountain, not leaving for a month at a time and just for supplies.

    I find people overwhelming. I do long for connections, but become quickly wearied by complexities and miscommunication. I even feel this with immediate family and partners. I care about people and work hard to make things good for people in my professional context and taking care of my family. I think getting drained comes for hoping for the ideal of perfect peace and understanding between people, although I intellectually acknowledge it is not possible, but is just something to strive for. The second reason I burn out is because I can feel so much need in people and tend to feel responsible somehow. When I hit my limit, I get overwhelmed with guilt. I get really caught up in whatever creatures/persons are around me, even if I am quiet and it is not visible. I have to be alone to regain a sense of my own self.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  4. #24
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    I'm asocial, but wouldn't say I'm anti social

  5. #25
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    I'll bite. I am generally asocial. Whether I become antisocial depends on how strongly you try to pressure me to socialize.
    Quote Originally Posted by Pseudo View Post
    ......hey
    Quote Originally Posted by Webslinger View Post
    Yes and no. I wish to socialize until I socialize.
    Quote Originally Posted by fia View Post
    hahaha This is closest to my perspective as well.
    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    I have next to no social life outside of the (admittedly largish number of) people who live in my house...
    Quote Originally Posted by HelenOfTroy View Post
    For an extrovert I can be incredibly asocial...
    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    I'm asocial, but wouldn't say I'm anti social
    Rather even distribution of type so far.
    INTJ, INTP, 2INFJ, INFP, ISFP, and ENFP
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  6. #26
    can't handcuff the wind Z Buck McFate's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Webslinger View Post
    Yes and no. I wish to socialize until I socialize.
    This applies to me as well.

    Quote Originally Posted by fia View Post
    I get really caught up in whatever creatures/persons are around me, even if I am quiet and it is not visible. I have to be alone to regain a sense of my own self.
    This resonates like crazy. It seems like there are only a very few people who know how to not exhaust me- who can pick up on how much energy I actually put into getting along with others, customizing my approach to dealing with the individuals in my life (it really isn't visible, so it's easy to take for granted- and it's super, super exhausting to have it taken for granted).


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    I think it was Bukowski who said, "I love people, I just feel better when they're not around." I kinda feel like that's me, in a nutshell.
    Reality is a collective hunch. -Lily Tomlin

    5w4 sx/sp Johari / Nohari

  7. #27
    Senior Member Pseudo's Avatar
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    I get really anxious in social situations and I don have great social skills. I very rarely look people in the eyes and Ive been told I generally mumble or don't speak clearly. I find I even get worried before things like calling people on the phone or having to talk to a teacher or a sales person. I'm pretty bad about dropping casual conversation conversations though I've very talkative with friends. I have very few people I would consider friends. I have a lot of people I see a lot who I still consider acquaintances because I don't feel comfortable just calling them to hang out. Generally It takes a few weeks for me to open up so most relationships start at school or work where there has been prolonged contact, and even then it's always the other person who has to take it out of that area to a real friendship. I'm really horrible with keeping up with people, calling on the phone and what not. It either seems too draining or I get worried they'll be annoyed. I've never been in clubs or organizations.

  8. #28
    Senior Member Survive & Stay Free's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Misty View Post
    Yes and no. I wish to socialize until I socialize.
    that reminds me of the old joke about are you extraverted or just hopeful?

  9. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by HelenOfTroy View Post
    For an extrovert I can be incredibly asocial.

    In the last month I have engaged in one night out (actually the only one in several months), two coffee's with friends, have invited zero guests to my home and visited family members on three occaisions.

    I prob would not have done half of those if not leaned on. The family visits were more an effort for the children.
    not in recent months, but in the past i did have months and entire years which where like that.

    specifically in periods in which i didn't make new connections, my socialization will mostly be limited to the occasional long-time friends crossing paths with finding out that we're in the same country & area in the same time frame (no matter how solitary i am, i can't quite get myself to reject a meeting with a friend i haven't seen in months/years). i'm not really lacking in energy in those times either...

    i can't really define myself as asocial though... in other periods i make a lot of new connections, so i guess there's a bit of a natural selection going on, survival of the long-lasting friendships... which is odd, because common sense dictates that a person who travels, moves a lot and changes rapidly wouldn't be likely to have those, yet the reality is i still seem to have fairly decent long friendships that just seem to just march on no matter where me or they are in life (including a couple that formed in kinder garden). it doesn't seem there's much of a need for a basis either.. i mean there's a guy who calls me to hang out and we end up talking about life and philosophizing over beers, and i am pretty sure we only became friends because he had robotic lego.

  10. #30
    Senior Member Mal12345's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pseudo View Post
    I get really anxious in social situations and I don have great social skills. I very rarely look people in the eyes and Ive been told I generally mumble or don't speak clearly. I find I even get worried before things like calling people on the phone or having to talk to a teacher or a sales person. I'm pretty bad about dropping casual conversation conversations though I've very talkative with friends. I have very few people I would consider friends. I have a lot of people I see a lot who I still consider acquaintances because I don't feel comfortable just calling them to hang out. Generally It takes a few weeks for me to open up so most relationships start at school or work where there has been prolonged contact, and even then it's always the other person who has to take it out of that area to a real friendship. I'm really horrible with keeping up with people, calling on the phone and what not. It either seems too draining or I get worried they'll be annoyed. I've never been in clubs or organizations.
    You probably have Aspergers or high-level autism.
    "Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the mouth." Mike Tyson
    “Culture?” says Paul McCartney. “This isn't culture. It's just a good laugh.”

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