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  1. #11
    Wake, See, Sing, Dance Cellmold's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aleda View Post
    Everyone does that sort of thing. You seem to do it a lot less though.
    I probably care too much what people think of me, that's why. When in reality most people couldn't care less about another unless it impacts their life in some way. Well strangers that is, or people who they aren't close to.

    It's a stupid ingrained reaction.
    'One of (Lucas) Cranach's masterpieces, discussed by (Joseph) Koerner, is in it's self-referentiality the perfect expression of left-hemisphere emptiness and a precursor of post-modernism. There is no longer anything to point to beyond, nothing Other, so it points pointlessly to itself.' - Iain McGilChrist

    Suppose a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?"
    "Suppose it didn't," said Pooh, after careful thought.
    Piglet was comforted by this.
    - A.A. Milne.

  2. #12
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    You talk a lot. I've always been mildly amazed at your ability to keep going, just because you also seem to be one of those quiet and slightly shy people as well.

    Um, what else. I think your ambivalence about yourself is pretty obvious, although you seem to be controlling it much better recently.

    I've never really heard you get directly confrontational with someone who's pissed you off. I occasionally wonder if that's self-control or a fear of getting into shit or both. I do recall you saying that you instigated a lot of (physical) fights when you were younger, which I found interesting, and completely at odds with your personality now. I've also heard a couple of other mild-mannered Brits say the same thing about their school lives and wondered whether it was just individual circumstances or a more endemic thing.

    I love your voice and accent.

  3. #13
    Wake, See, Sing, Dance Cellmold's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by senza tema View Post
    You talk a lot. I've always been mildly amazed at your ability to keep going, just because you also seem to be one of those quiet and slightly shy people as well.
    It might be extraversion, it might be the fact that I spend a large amount of hours not interacting with people and when I do, it is rarely about topics I initiate or I'm interested in. Which of course is a bit broad and probably goes for most people.

    Quote Originally Posted by senza tema View Post
    Um, what else. I think your ambivalence about yourself is pretty obvious, although you seem to be controlling it much better recently.
    Yeah that comes and goes.

    Quote Originally Posted by senza tema View Post
    I've never really heard you get directly confrontational with someone who's pissed you off. I occasionally wonder if that's self-control or a fear of getting into shit or both. I do recall you saying that you instigated a lot of (physical) fights when you were younger, which I found interesting, and completely at odds with your personality now. I've also heard a couple of other mild-mannered Brits say the same thing about their school lives and wondered whether it was just individual circumstances or a more endemic thing.
    I have wondered if there is a cultural part to it in the UK. In any case I will say that my not getting confrontational is probably a fear of getting into shit, every time I take a stand it usually ends up poorly for myself, but more importantly for those I care about, because I have poor judgement and rationale in those situations, whether or not that is a good thing though.....I'm not sure.

    Quote Originally Posted by senza tema View Post
    I love your voice and accent.
    Haha well I can't take credit for that.

    I have noticed an issue lately where I fail to see what I judge afterwards to be an insignificant detail or angle where something could go wrong and then it does go wrong and the entire pack of cards comes tumbling down....I mean literally not so much my psychology but whatever it is I am doing falls apart and I get into trouble and I stress about how I could have missed it.

    For example recently on Ebay I had a real issue where I had tried to sell something but I had used the word premium in the title to describe it and catch attention. I had no idea that within the context of what I was selling, (Magic the gathering cards), 'premium' usually implied a foil card which is usually worth more and harder to pull from a booster pack.

    But there was no warning that putting the word premium on there, then selling them with a description that stated they were NOT foil would cause such a problem. Right now I've had to argue my case in terms of refunds, especially since I stated I wasn't giving any.

    I remember showing my friends the listings and getting their opinions on how I had presented them, no issue, no one brought up my use of the word 'premium' in the title. So then I get a great deal of aggravation and stess from this type of issue and I then feel like a complete idiot for not spotting this before hand.

    But how can I spot information I am not even aware of and have no reason to be aware of as being an issue? Could this be a lack of intuition? Certainly I blame myself, but that example isn't even one of the terrible ones, I've had some really bad experiences where something I haven't anticipated has fucked up a lot of stuff for others and myself.

    So now because of those experiences I double check everything, I'm hyper-tense in situations where others appear to be completely relaxed and I am constantly vigilant when I have any kind of responsibility but that makes me anxious and therefore liable to lash out at others unfairly.

    I suppose I just struggle with.....knowing how to organise myself and my thoughts in a clear and logical manner. If I have to engage in a new job of course I read up on all the areas of that job and research it greatly, but no amount of researching ever prepares me for the subtle variables and social nuances of that working environment.

    The other day I was asked by my employer to ring up the DVLA about a tax disc that had already been paid but which she had received a letter asking for the payment. Well I had no reference point, was I supposed to announce myself as me or the company, (you would think the company but this is a privately owned business and the setting is quite casual as it is at my best friends house where we work from), did I need the registration number? What is the correct way of reading out that number? Apparently I had to use the phonetic alphabet, I didn't even know that was a question to be asked until the lady on at the DVLA chastised me for not stating the registration so.

    All these stupid little rules I don't get or know about, but I am somehow expected to know and yet no one tells me. The worst part is there is no need for me to overthink these situations but I do anyway and get worked up.

    Worst of all I had already told my employer I was uncomfortable on the phone and had poor manners on it. It seems as if people keep pushing me into things I am not sure about and then wondering why I didn't succeed. But time and again I've shown that throwing me into the plunge of things doesn't make me rise to the challenge it makes me worse, so why does that keep happening?

    It's clearly a shared fault with the way I present myself and the way others seem to think it is best to get an individual to learn.

    There is also an issue on my part with a lack of intelligence, both emotionally, logically and intellectually.
    'One of (Lucas) Cranach's masterpieces, discussed by (Joseph) Koerner, is in it's self-referentiality the perfect expression of left-hemisphere emptiness and a precursor of post-modernism. There is no longer anything to point to beyond, nothing Other, so it points pointlessly to itself.' - Iain McGilChrist

    Suppose a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?"
    "Suppose it didn't," said Pooh, after careful thought.
    Piglet was comforted by this.
    - A.A. Milne.

  4. #14
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    Ftr, I have for a long while been under the belief that fighting in school in the UK is more common.

    I don't know why it is, but it seems that way.

  5. #15
    Wake, See, Sing, Dance Cellmold's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zarathustra View Post
    Ftr, I have for a long while been under the belief that fighting in school in the UK is more common.

    I don't know why it is, but it seems that way.
    From what I remember from my childhood and even now there is a bigger emphasis on physicality being the way out. It's strange really but I think the UK, and England in particular, tends to project an air of ISJ reliability and down-stated-ness but the actual culture living in the country is, to me, very ESP and Se driven.

    You would probably get this in any country but there is a very real culture here of going out, getting pissed and then just looking for a fight. I know some people who actually thrive on this as if it is a way of life and the fight at the end of the night is proof it was a good one.

    However using MBTI terms for an entire country seems....inaccurate really. But I know that outside the tourist areas of London, the rest of the country/s seem to adhere to the culture that the inhabitants know very well, but which many outside, (or at least outside of western europe), would find is completely different to the stereotypical presentation.

    I remember the other day sitting in a local cafe and a child was talking to his dad about being bullied at school. To which the dad replied "Well son they only do it because you take it, fight back get your fists out...etc"

    In a way he had a point, but there is more to defeating bullying that just "gettin yur fists owt" , which is how he pronounced it. Sometimes that only makes the situation worse, what if he does get physical but they jump him as a group and really do some damage? Not only is he now at risk physically but also the bullies might pick on him even worse.

    There has to be a balance I find between psychological and physical strength. I also didn't like the implication in that same conversation I overheard that it was somehow the boys fault he was being bullied. To me it is a left over trait from our genetic ancestry, that stems from being scared of difference and the unknown because it could be dangerous to us.
    'One of (Lucas) Cranach's masterpieces, discussed by (Joseph) Koerner, is in it's self-referentiality the perfect expression of left-hemisphere emptiness and a precursor of post-modernism. There is no longer anything to point to beyond, nothing Other, so it points pointlessly to itself.' - Iain McGilChrist

    Suppose a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?"
    "Suppose it didn't," said Pooh, after careful thought.
    Piglet was comforted by this.
    - A.A. Milne.

  6. #16
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    Interesting insights.

    Don't want to derail your thread on this, so this is the last word I'll have on the topic:

    Perhaps the projected image (i.e., persona) of England is ISJ, which would make it's, oh, nevermind, wrong shadow.

    Well, if you take shadow to mean opposing personality (i.e., ISTJ-ESTP), then perhaps it's due to shadow/opposing personality ESP.

    / realized the error in his thinking while typing :/

  7. #17
    royal member Rasofy's Avatar
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    Your posts usually look pretty generic, like you are afraid to actually take a stance on things, so your points end up sounding redundant. Most threads you start are too open ended for any meaningful and practical conclusion (e.g. ''what's a bond?"), so I rarely post on them.
    -----------------

    A man builds. A parasite asks 'Where is my share?'
    A man creates. A parasite says, 'What will the neighbors think?'
    A man invents. A parasite says, 'Watch out, or you might tread on the toes of God... '


    -----------------

  8. #18
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    Admittedly I haven't talked to you in a long time, and even before that we hadn't talked much, but I think you come across as very sincere. You were always kind to me, which might sound like something that's just a given (I think of you as someone who might ask "Why would I be unkind to a stranger?", as if it never would have occurred to you), but it's not.

    You seemed to care a great deal for family. I think I remember you talking about spending time with nieces/nephews?? My memory is a little fuzzy about the details but that was the gist I got.

    I think you're a gifted orator, with a particular talent for being able to keep conversation jovial.

  9. #19
    Wake, See, Sing, Dance Cellmold's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rasofy View Post
    Your posts usually look pretty generic, like you are afraid to actually take a stance on things, so your points end up sounding redundant. Most threads you start are too open ended for any meaningful and practical conclusion (e.g. ''what's a bond?"), so I rarely post on them.
    Very true. It's because once I start examining a perspective it is hard not to see each one as equally valid. Taking a stance on most things implies to me that I am certain of what I know about that subject and the truth is I never am. I don't know how other people do it.

    I'm one of those people who you would find anywhere frankly, there isn't much to stand out or recommend, I've known that most of my life and in a sense it was a good thing because apart from a few grades and my failure as a musician most people never expected much from me. I don't contribute that much because when I read through most threads I usually find someone has stated or argued something I would have said, but they have done it better and probably more concisely.

    And what is the point of me adding to the repetition in that case?

    Although this is not meant to be a generate pity post, it's merely that I see it as honesty. Redundant.....good word, describes my self-perspective well.

    Perhaps the only real regret I have is that I should have stuck at the clarinet, then I could have at least been one of those people in the background of an orchestra. But I never had much talent.
    'One of (Lucas) Cranach's masterpieces, discussed by (Joseph) Koerner, is in it's self-referentiality the perfect expression of left-hemisphere emptiness and a precursor of post-modernism. There is no longer anything to point to beyond, nothing Other, so it points pointlessly to itself.' - Iain McGilChrist

    Suppose a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?"
    "Suppose it didn't," said Pooh, after careful thought.
    Piglet was comforted by this.
    - A.A. Milne.

  10. #20
    royal member Rasofy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AffirmitiveAnxiety View Post
    Very true. It's because once I start examining a perspective it is hard not to see each one as equally valid. Taking a stance on most things implies to me that I am certain of what I know about that subject and the truth is I never am. I don't know how other people do it.

    I'm one of those people who you would find anywhere frankly, there isn't much to stand out or recommend, I've known that most of my life and in a sense it was a good thing because apart from a few grades and my failure as a musician most people never expected much from me. I don't contribute that much because when I read through most threads I usually find someone has stated or argued something I would have said, but they have done it better and probably more concisely.

    And what is the point of me adding to the repetition in that case?

    Although this is not meant to be a generate pity post, it's merely that I see it as honesty. Redundant.....good word, describes my self-perspective well.

    Perhaps the only real regret I have is that I should have stuck at the clarinet, then I could have at least been one of those people in the background of an orchestra. But I never had much talent.
    -----------------

    A man builds. A parasite asks 'Where is my share?'
    A man creates. A parasite says, 'What will the neighbors think?'
    A man invents. A parasite says, 'Watch out, or you might tread on the toes of God... '


    -----------------

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