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  1. #81
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    Young.
    Too reliant on typology for behavioral explanations. (ESTPs are *this* way, etc)
    I don't think you have a firm identity of who you are yet. Which leads to the volatility you express and search for in others. I'm guessing - but I'd wager you likely come from an abusive household.
    ~luck favors the ready~


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  2. #82
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Arendee View Post
    What am I lying about? I feel like I'm pretty straightforward with who I am. Is it the overdramatic statements that count as lies?
    Yep. You say you can count the people whose lives you actually care about on one hand (or two? can't remember), and other things along those lines. If you take it literally, it sounds really extreme. And when you're trying to fend off accusations of you being a narcissist/sociopath, it doesn't help your case much.

    So yes, I mean lying, because the types of dramatic statements I'm referring to are not factually true, and you're presenting them as truth -- not using "like" or any other qualifiers to show that you're exaggerating, and not giving anything away with your tone, either.
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



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  3. #83
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Yep. You say you can count the people whose lives you actually care about on one hand (or two? can't remember), and other things along those lines. If you take it literally, it sounds really extreme. And when you're trying to fend off accusations of you being a narcissist/sociopath, it doesn't help your case much.

    So yes, I mean lying, because the types of dramatic statements I'm referring to are not factually true, and you're presenting them as truth -- not using "like" or any other qualifiers to show that you're exaggerating, and not giving anything away with your tone, either.
    oh. I said I can count the number of CONNECTIONS I've made with people on one hand. The number of people I care about is much larger than that, in the 200+ range.

  4. #84
    Ginkgo
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    The first thing I noticed about you was that you were upfront and even protective of the people and ideas you care about, and that you would go out of your way to be so. I respect people who have a legitimate investment in their ideas.

    Maybe this caring is a lesser known aspect of you, and while I don't think it's entirely due to type in your case, this is a quality that E8s tend to possess.

    Other than that, I'm wondering if I should consider some of your more animated behavior as a consequence of being enthralled with whatever it is you're doing. To others, it's probably going to come off as either vain, narcissistic, or theatrical.

    I've known people who come off as equally self-absorbed but still possess a deep well of caring for others, so I can't really come to the conclusion that you're a narcissist (yet). Then again, I don't know you that well so this is a tentative analysis.

  5. #85
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Arendee View Post
    oh. I said I can count the number of CONNECTIONS I've made with people on one hand. The number of people I care about is much larger than that, in the 200+ range.
    Very interesting. I wonder if this is related to type -- more specifically sx-first vs. second.

    I say "interesting" because in my life, those two words correlate with such regularity that I have little reason to distinguish them. I care about people when I connect with them; I could care less about them, except in a general "they deserve what human beings deserve" kind of way, if I don't connect with them. I don't empathize easily, because in order for me to empathize, I need to relate to the person in question, i.e. to connect with them and to easily imagine myself in their shoes.

    Unless you meant "connect" as in "become extremely close with, to the point of sx-style merging" -- which is probably what you meant. I got confused because my definition of "connect" is a bit less strict. :/

    As for the drama factor: I'm willing to give myself a lot of the blame for that. I don't deal well with dramatic people, because I get sick of not being able to trust anything they say. But based on how this thread is going, I'm not the only one who's been confused by that aspect of your communication style.
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



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  6. #86
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Very interesting. I wonder if this is related to type -- more specifically sx-first vs. second.

    I say "interesting" because in my life, those two words correlate with such regularity that I have little reason to distinguish them. I care about people when I connect with them; I could care less about them, except in a general "they deserve what human beings deserve" kind of way.

    Unless you meant "connect" as in "become extremely close with, to the point of sx-style merging" -- which is probably what you meant.

    As for the drama factor: I'm willing to give myself a lot of the blame for that. I don't deal well with dramatic people, because I get sick of not being able to trust anything they say. But based on how this thread is going, I'm not the only one who's been confused by that aspect of your communication style.
    It happens. Yes, I suppose I'm referring to the sx merging etc. There have been a few people in my life whose every move and decision I can predict. But only a handful.

  7. #87
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ginkgo View Post
    The first thing I noticed about you was that you were upfront and even protective of the people and ideas you care about, and that you would go out of your way to be so. I respect people who have a legitimate investment in their ideas.

    Maybe this caring is a lesser known aspect of you, and while I don't think it's entirely due to type in your case, this is a quality that E8s tend to possess.

    Other than that, I'm wondering if I should consider some of your more animated behavior as a consequence of being enthralled with whatever it is you're doing. To others, it's probably going to come off as either vain, narcissistic, or theatrical.

    I've known people who come off as equally self-absorbed but still possess a deep well of caring for others, so I can't really come to the conclusion that you're a narcissist (yet). Then again, I don't know you that well so this is a tentative analysis.
    Wow this was a revealing post.

    I don't feel like its that difficult to notice how much I care about people. For a while the writing above my avatar was "I can't help everyone." There's a sort of superman dilemma I face every once in a while where people cling to me for help because I'm very satisfied with my life at the moment (well, relatively speaking) and they look to me to help fill that emotional hole. I say "superman dilemma" because I think in one of the remake movies he was floating high above the earth talking about how there is too much evil in the world and he can't help everyone all the time, even though he can hear them suffering constantly.

    So I have to consciously tell myself that I can't help them, and I have to kick them to the curb. There have been a lot of people who I had to remove from my life recently because they couldn't take care of themselves and they were dragging me down with them, emotionally. For a few years I felt as if I was dragging dozens of people by my ankles. I prided myself in my ability to help people, but it ultimately makes me miserable. So I've recently (about 5 months ago) adopted a zero tolerance policy for those with low self esteem.

    In fact part of my issue in relationships is that I search for someone who is strong and independant, because if she can't take care of herself, I start worrying about her well being. The ISFP I dated last was pretty awesome because anytime I offered her help she'd refuse it and tell me she didn't need my help which I actually found quite liberating.

  8. #88
    Senior Member Winds of Thor's Avatar
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    That you're a DJ.
    "..And the eight and final rule: If this is your first time at Fight Club, you have to fight."
    'Men are meant to be with women. The rest is perversion and mental illness.'

  9. #89
    Ginkgo
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Arendee View Post
    Wow this was a revealing post.

    I don't feel like its that difficult to notice how much I care about people. For a while the writing above my avatar was "I can't help everyone." There's a sort of superman dilemma I face every once in a while where people cling to me for help because I'm very satisfied with my life at the moment (well, relatively speaking) and they look to me to help fill that emotional hole. I say "superman dilemma" because I think in one of the remake movies he was floating high above the earth talking about how there is too much evil in the world and he can't help everyone all the time, even though he can hear them suffering constantly.

    So I have to consciously tell myself that I can't help them, and I have to kick them to the curb. There have been a lot of people who I had to remove from my life recently because they couldn't take care of themselves and they were dragging me down with them, emotionally. For a few years I felt as if I was dragging dozens of people by my ankles. I prided myself in my ability to help people, but it ultimately makes me miserable. So I've recently (about 5 months ago) adopted a zero tolerance policy for those with low self esteem.

    In fact part of my issue in relationships is that I search for someone who is strong and independant, because if she can't take care of herself, I start worrying about her well being. The ISFP I dated last was pretty awesome because anytime I offered her help she'd refuse it and tell me she didn't need my help which I actually found quite liberating.
    I feel like you've gained a level of infamy that has seemed to progress like a domino effect, likely starting from a few peoples' impressions of you. Then you began to serve as a popular scapegoat for self-absorbed behavior that is actually, more or less, ubiquitous on this website.

  10. #90
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    As far as the narcissism and self inflation goes, I think a lot of Fi people are picking up on an energy I have that comes and goes based on my excitement of events outside of this forum and youtube. Basically when I get excited it feels like I'm on cocaine, and then I get headaches at the end of the day and collapse with exhaustion.

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